


Damaged Not Broken

by Willameana2007



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Aaron Dingle and Robert Sugden are Parents, Abduction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Domestic Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, First Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Jealousy, M/M, Protective Robert Sugden, Scared Aaron Dingle, Self-Harm, Stalking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:21:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 43
Words: 82,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willameana2007/pseuds/Willameana2007
Summary: Because I miss Robert and Aaron, I'm writing a story about it. This is AU after Jack Sugden's funeral. Robert picks up a hitchhiker out of the village. My take on it, it's a bit over the top on some things but I just thought it would be nice. You'll see if you read. It'll have sad, happy and funny moments. Hope you enjoy. The warning is there because of Aaron past it will be brought up later.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 741
Kudos: 386





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Emmerdale or the characters.

He stuck it out a few more days, but his mum didn’t trust him. That was alright because he didn’t trust her either. The only reason he stayed was because he had nowhere else to go, he didn’t care if his mum wanted him. She never had before why should it change now. When she came to get him from the MacFarlanes he thought she really cared. But all she cared about was herself, sure she said the right words, but she never believed him. When Daz pulled that trick on him a few days ago and Lisa had a go at him he had been hurt. But when his mum didn’t even give him the chance to explain he knew she didn’t care.

Because of that he decided to leave, he packed only what he could carry in a bag. He didn’t have any plan but to get far enough out of the village and hope someone would stop and give him a ride into Hotten. Not many cars passed but if he recognized the person driving, he hid, he didn’t want to be brought back to his mother like a naughty schoolboy.

It was night and the cold was creeping into his bones. Just when he thought about turning around and going back to Lisa and Zak’s a car’s headlamps came into view. He stuck out his thumb, this was his last chance, either this car or back to the village. The car slowed and he held his breath.

The window came down and a face appeared. “Where are you headed?” the bloke asked. He looked to be in his mid-twenties. Something was vaguely familiar about him, but he couldn’t place it.

“Anywhere not here.”

“I’ll take you as far as Leeds.”

Aaron smiled at that, he thought he might only get a ride to Hotten, this was his lucky day.

He tossed his bag in the backseat and climbed in beside the driver. “Thanks, mate. I didn’t know what I’d do if you hadn’t stopped.”

“It’s fine. Do you live in Emmerdale?” the stranger asked.

“No, not really. My mum and most of her family does though. I couldn’t stand the glares and suspicion I was up to something every time I moved anymore.”

“I know that feeling well. I’m Robert.”

“Aaron.”

With that, Robert started driving and Aaron couldn’t be happier to see the last of Emmerdale.

* * *

“He’s going to get it when he comes back,” Chas said.

She was waiting up late for Aaron to get home, she rang everyone she thought would know where he might be. But Aaron didn’t have any friends, the closest friend he had was Belle, and she was only nine. She tried not to be worried, he was seventeen after all, but he just turned seventeen last month. It was her fault that one minute he was fourteen then the next sixteen like the snap of a finger. She hadn’t been to see him so when she was rang that he was at the police station she was still picturing her little boy. He had always been small for his age. But what she found was a foul-mouthed, angry sixteen-year-old. He had always been a little mouthy and angry but now it was so much worse.

“Maybe I should take a drive and look ‘round,” Zak offered.

“Would you? Thanks, Zak.”

* * *

Two days later it was obvious, Aaron had run off. She finally noticed most of the clothes he wore was gone along with his bag. Why had it taken days for her to notice? She thought about going to the police but that wasn’t really the Dingle way. She just hoped he would come back.

* * *

The next year Aaron showed up again, one day he wasn’t there the next he was. He refused to tell any of them where he had been, he did say he was going back. He just came to spend some time with his family. He had read about Shadrach’s death and wanted to be there for her. Aaron stayed two weeks; it was an amazing two weeks. He even made some friends around the town, Adam and Holly Barton to name a few. They hang around each other when Chas had work. Aaron even helped out at their farm which was saying something. Chas thought he was much calmer now, she just wished he would stay. She asked him to, but he said he couldn’t. Cain reckoned there was a bird waiting for him back where he came.

Then the year after that he was back for another two weeks. This time he stayed with Paddy and Rhona. Paddy had been on a call when Rhona went into labour. She couldn’t get to the phone and luckily Aaron had come back in time. He had delivered Leo while they waited for the ambulance, Marlon and Paddy. Because of that; Paddy, Rhona and Marlon made him Leo’s godfather. It was funny, when Aaron lived in the village, he pushed all of Paddy’s buttons. But now it was almost like Aaron had found peace in himself, not totally, there was still something dark that lurked in his blue eyes. He still refused to tell any of them where he lived or anything about his life.

The next year, he was really down, something was very off with him. He didn’t stay two weeks, this time he stay two months. This time he stayed with Zak and Lisa; he was a lot of help with all of Zak’s issues. Lisa had told her what a shock it was that she started to depend on Aaron. He was clearly running from something at that time, but he was helping out, being a true Dingle. His friendship with Adam deepened, it was good she thought, he needed a friend.

The year after that, he only came long enough for Gennie’s funeral. He was gone the next morning, he had told them that while he planned to stay for two weeks something came up. She wondered what was more important than his family.

* * *

“Why are you going now?” Robert asked, rubbing his hands down Aaron’s sides.

“I feel bad about last year, I didn’t get to spend any time with them. I only went to Gennie’s funeral. I owe them, I owe my mum, I let her down.”

Robert flinched away like Aaron had hit him. He knew Aaron would bring up last year. Aaron had told him when he found out about his aunt’s death. Chas had sent him an email. Aaron had wanted to leave right away, didn’t seem to care if Robert needed him. Their life had not been a storybook fantasy by any stretch of the imagination. When he picked up a chavvy little loudmouth on his way out of Emmerdale after his father’s funeral, he had no idea what lie in store for him.

“No yet, please, we’re almost there.”

“Fine, but I need to go sign some paperwork, I’ll be careful no one sees me though.”

He didn’t drop Aaron off in Leeds like planned that first night. After they got to talking, well he talked and Aaron nodded and grunted, they found out their families were tied together by Debbie and Andy. There was also something about Aaron that Robert liked, he just didn’t know at the time what it would be.

Aaron slept on the sofa in Robert’s tiny flat for a few months. Then Robert got a better job. He knew it was because he had charmed Lawrence White, it was something he was good at. He was better at this job, but he couldn’t show his stuff until he got hired. That was where he met Lawrence’s daughter Chrissie. He had told Aaron about his plan to seduce the older woman. Aaron had gotten right hard to live with after that. Aaron worked nights at a hotel, so at least Robert could bring women home without hearing about it.

Then one day out of nowhere, Aaron kissed him. If he was being honest with himself it was something, he thought about himself. That was when their relationship changed. It was also when he decided not to go for Chrissie, he knew it would hurt Aaron. While he was still a selfish bastard, he didn’t want to hurt the only person who thought he was worth a damn.

Then it happened, the day their life was turned upside down. Aaron being Aaron got bored one day and bought a lottery ticket. The lad who never had a stitch of luck in his whole life won over one hundred million pounds. He didn’t tell Robert that he won, in fact he didn’t know himself at the time. He was visiting his mum in Emmerdale when he found out. He was only supposed to stay the two weeks but, in the end, stayed two months. Apparently during his time there he told them he had to go into Leeds for something. He lied; in truth he went into London by train to collect his winnings anonymously. He then put it in the bank and just went back to Emmerdale.

When he finally came back to Robert in Hotten, he asked the question, he had been purposely avoiding him. He wanted to know how Robert felt about him, if he truly loved him.

Aaron asked him to go to Spain and marry him. At first Robert thought he had lost his mind but the more he thought about it the more he liked the idea. Robert always felt like an outsider in his own family, he never had someone that trusted him and loved him faults and all. He loved Aaron more than anyone, himself included. They got married in Spain and a civil partnership in the UK. It was just before their civil partnership ceremony that Aaron told him about the money. To say Robert was gob smacked would be an understatement. He asked Aaron if he wanted some sort of paperwork to protect his money. Aaron just shook his head and said it didn’t matter. He knew that Robert wanted to start his own business, now he had the funds to do it.

That’s what he did, he started Sugden Enterprise and in the two years since he started, he had turned a made the money he spent on startup and making a tidy profit. He had put all his years of learning, the things he picked up on the farm against his will and what he learned from Lawrence. All of his contacts were in the farm equipment business, there was also a part of him that wanted to show Andy and Lawrence that he was better than them. The best was that Aaron didn’t care, he just wanted Robert to do what he wanted.

As for Aaron, he had no dream and Robert found that very sad. There were still things about the younger man that Robert didn’t know. For one, he didn’t know what the nightmares Aaron had were about. He did know that after a bad one Aaron didn’t want to be touched for a few days. He didn’t know why Aaron had visited his mum once every year but never his father, in fact he never spoke about the man. He didn’t know why after their first real bust-up during the first year when Aaron came back, he had started cutting himself. Robert worked overtime and a second job so Aaron could see a private doctor. The waiting list for him to be seen by NHS was way too long. Aaron needed help right then. Sometimes even still he would look at Aaron and he looked so lost, so pained.

When Robert started up his business, he told Aaron to decide what he wanted in life, now that money wasn’t really a problem. Aaron only came back with one thing he ever wanted, his own family. Robert knew what he meant, a family he couldn’t be kicked out of. So that’s what they did, last year when Aaron turned twenty-one, they started the process to become parents. They went two ways and it was a bit a wobble in the beginning. Aaron wanted to adopt, and Robert wanted to get a surrogate…so they did both. They weren’t sure they would find a surrogate they both liked and that liked them, they were wrong. Trina was everything they hoped for and more, she was smart, funny and an all-a-round good person. They decided to let fate decide who the biological father was. And just after Violet was born, they got the call about adoption. In truth, they kind of forgotten about it after all the checks and approvals because they hadn’t heard anything more. They had siblings that they wanted to place together, one had a disability and the other had emotional issues, so it was proving to be difficult. After meeting them Robert knew they were good as theirs. They boys home lives had been horrible; the older boy had suffered horrible abuse and the baby was severely neglected. Because of the neglect, Ollie, the baby was way behind where he should be, he wasn’t crawling and didn’t even babble. Rory, their older son, was Aaron’s shadow now. He didn’t go anywhere Aaron didn’t.

Now they had their family, business and each other. There was only one thing missing from their lives, their home. Robert knew Aaron wanted to be closer to his mum and her family, even though he wouldn’t admit it. He knew where he wanted to live, he wanted to live there since he knew what it was. Home Farm. For once in his life, people would respect him.

* * *

Chas was cleaning the bar top when Paddy came in, he was all smiles, but he always was.

“What’s the grin like a loon for?” she asked him.

“Just a beautiful day isn’t it?”

She rolled her eyes; she really wasn’t feeling the beautiful day thing. Diane was still a right mess because of Val telling everyone in the Woolpack that Diane slept with Eric. Chas shuddered just at the thought. She couldn’t think of anything worse than being under Eric Pollard.

“This isn’t still about those bloody pigs is it?”

All he did was smile and she knew it was, the man was batty about those things. “Just for that I might not give you the latest gossip.”

“What did Pearl dye her hair again?”

“Cheeky. No, Declan has sold Home Farm.”

“What? It’s burned.”

“It can be restored; it’ll just take money. The new owners already have people there.”

“Poor sods, don’t they know it’s cursed? Nothing good comes from that place. Wait a minute, I thought Declan was making Charity partner and rebuilding.”

“That was the plan, but I heard the new owners paid a mint for that burned out wreck and the properties. Declan and Charity couldn’t say no.”

Chas shook her head, whoever bought that place was asking for trouble, no good could come from it. “What’s their name?”

“Don’t know, big secret. I wonder who it is, maybe somebody famous.”

Chas laughed. “Someone famous, here? In your dreams, Pads. Go on now, I have work to do, unless you want a pint.”

“Wouldn’t mind one,” he said taking a seat.

Chas smiled, she loved him, Paddy was the best. Rhona was a lucky woman.

* * *

It was dark, that was the only reason Aaron was walking around without his hoodie up. He didn’t want anyone to know he was here, not yet. Robert had this whole ‘look at me now’ thing and Aaron didn’t want to ruin it. He loved Robert; he really did but somethings about his husband he just didn’t get. Mostly Robert’s obsession with being seen, having people KNOW he was better than them. After years together he knew where it stemmed from, never feeling like enough for his father. Having Jack choose Andy over Robert time and time again then at the end sending him away when he never did that with Andy. Robert had a real love-hate relationship with his brother. He would say just hate but Aaron knew Robert better than that.

Voices caught Aaron’s attention, two young female voices, one very familiar.

“Gemma, I didn’t know you liked him.”

“It doesn’t excuse the fact that you a selfish cow and a rubbish friend.”

“Oh yeah, well Sean doesn’t seem to think so. Because let’s face it, you gave him everything he wanted, and he’s still not interested so…” the sound of a slap could be heard.

He had come up right behind the girl Belle was arguing with, Belle shoved her, knocking her into Aaron. Luckily, he was prepared for it and they both stayed upright.

The girl looked back at Belle yelling, “I hate you.”

“Fine, suits me. Have a nice life.”

The girl took off and left just him and Belle. “What was that about?”

“A boy.”

“Ahh. Come on, let’s get you home.”

“What are you doing back? Another visit?” she asked as they walked.

“It’s a secret, don’t tell anyone you’ve seen me. Don’t worry I’ll be back in a few months.”

“Promise? Maybe stay a little longer, Chas misses you…so do I.”

“We’ll see, no more fighting in the woods,” he said smiling.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“Ya got me there, go on now, remember keep it quiet.”

“Fine, see ya, Aaron.”

* * *

It was early May as they drove back to Emmerdale, he could feel his nerves jittering. Everyone would know he was gay now, there would be no hiding that he had a husband. Robert was less worried about everyone finding out he had a husband and was more worried what Diane and Victoria would think when they found out they bought Home Farm. That worried Aaron too, he and Robert agreed to keep their financials to themselves. Aaron already made it very clear that if he could help his family he would, Robert said the same. To everyone on the outside the money would look completely Robert’s doing and hard work, they didn’t need to know how they got it.

In the backseat Rory was singing about their new home, a little song he made up. Aaron was worried that the move would make Rory backstep on all the progress he’s made. But Rory’s psychologist thought this move was just what he needed. Get out of the city and into a small village. She thought Aaron and Robert’s family would be good for both boys. Violet had been well taken care of since the day she was born, overbearing a little bit if he was honest. Robert had told him that he was worried he would be a terrible father, that fear was completely unfounded. Robert was the best father, Violet’s eyes lit up anytime he was in the room. He was the only one that could get Ollie to stop crying when he was frustrated and upset. His patience with Rory was amazing. Rory didn’t like to be touched, the pain in his eyes was heartbreaking. Robert always said he was amazed that Rory let Aaron cuddle him, carry him around. Aaron hadn’t had the heart to tell Robert why he took to Aaron but still was scared of being around Robert. Rory had told him once that Robert looked a bit like the bad man(stepfather).

Their sorry was so upsetting, their mom was a junkie and father died in prison. She married a man who didn’t want children and took it out on them. She came home one day and hurting Rory, whipping him with a horsewhip. She picked Rory up and put him in to bed and said she would make everything better. Then she went into her bedroom and grabbed a knife she kept for protection, she stabbed him so many times they couldn’t have an open casket. She then called police told them she killed her husband and why, by the time police got there she was dead of an overdose. Aaron had no idea why their case worker thought him and Robert would be prefect for the boys, but he was glad. He didn’t think he could live without any of his children. Him and Robert talked about it, three kids were their limit. Rory and Ollie needed extensive help, now that they were moving Aaron would be able to just concentrate on the kids. For over six months it’s been Robert’s plan for Home Farm and Aaron felt like strangling him. They spent a small fortune to buy it, and then they still had to fix it back up.

“Are we almost home?” Rory asked.

“Yes, are you excited?” Robert asked.

“Yep, I get a grandma and a Paddy and a Zak and a Lisa and another grandma and a Vic,” he continued to rattle off names of everyone they had given him. To prepare him for such a move they told him about everyone and stories about each and every one, good stories. Thank God for Robert, Aaron didn’t really have that many stories of people. Robert on the other hand lived eighteen years of his life there. Aaron hoped that this really would be the best for the kids because it sure wasn’t for him. This is what Robert wanted, what was good for the kids but the thought of being here again, living here scared him. Secrets had a way of coming out around family and he planned on keeping his until the day he died. Not only that, everyone had hated him before, it’s not going to get better when they find out he was gay and married to a man, Robert Sugden at that. The sign for the village came in sight, it was too late to turn back now.


	2. Surprise!

Everyone had a hangover the next day, Katie felt like her head would explode. It had been a great party though; she had no idea where Chas kept pulling those strippers from. She had just started to feel normal by the time evening rolled around. As promised, she told Chas she would come by and spend some time with her at the Woolpack.

The regulars were there; most of the Dingles, Andy, Victoria, James Barton and his boys. Looked like it was going to be a really nice night. Soon people started talking about the new owners of Home Farm. Declan and Charity came in, taking a seat away from everyone.

“Who did buy Home Farm?” Adam asked, he was turned towards Declan.

“With the amount of money, they were paying me, I didn’t look at a name. It was all done through a solicitor anyway,” Declan told them.

“So, you have no idea who is moving in?” Paddy asked.

“I know some, I know it’s a married couple with small children. Also, it’s two men.”

There was dead silence that followed that. No one knew what to say to that, so they didn’t. That was until Sam spoke up.

“I thought you said they were a married couple?”

“They are, Sam,” Declan said.

“But how?”

“Same way it’s a man and woman except matching equipment,” Charity said, shutting him up. There were some snickers that followed. They weren’t living in the dark ages anymore, but this was big news to their little village.

Soon she was paying attention to her drink and didn’t notice the goings on around her until she heard Chas scream. Looking up, she watched Chas sprint out from behind the bar and rush towards the door. That’s when she saw why, Aaron had just walked in. She hadn’t gotten to see him the last time he was in town and felt bad about that. He looked older, more mature than the last time she saw him. The last few times he was nothing like the feral hell spawn that arrived in Emmerdale after being kicked out by his dad.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming,” Chas said, hugging him, Katie thought she may even be cutting off his oxygen.

“Wanted to surprise you, didn’t I?” he said with a small smile.

“That you did. How long are you here this time?” Cain asked, everyone could hear the reprimand in this voice.

“Yeah, about that, I’m here to stay.”

Chas squealed and squeezed him again. “I’ll get your room together,” she said, letting go of him.

“Mum, slow down, I already have a place to live.”

“You just got here, how could you?” Chas asked, her sticking her bottom lip out just a small bit.

“About that, one sec,” he said before opening the door and waving someone in.

Katie’s jaw dropped as Robert freakin Sugden walked in pushing a double pram with a small boy following him. The little boy ran to Aaron and wrapped his little arms around Aaron’s leg. Aaron bent down and picked the small boy up. What in God’s name was going on?”

“Robert?” Victoria asked, looking at her big brother.

“Heya Vic, want to meet your nephews and niece?” Robert asked.

“Hold up, what’s going on?” Chas asked, her voice raising.

“Mum, you know my husband, Robert, right?” Aaron asked like he was pointing out some clouds. As soon as he did the pub descended into chaos.

Katie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Robert and Aaron married? Robert wasn’t gay. Or was he? No, he couldn’t be, she would know. She spared a looked at Andy who was doing a good impression of a goldfish.

“It was you two, you’re the ones that bought Home Farm,” Paddy said.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Pads. Aaron doesn’t have that kind of money.”

“I don’t but Robert does,” Aaron said loud enough to be heard.

“Robert? How?” Andy asked.

“Hard work and luck, you could say,” Robert answered.

“Is everyone missing the part where they said they were married?” Zak added.

“No, let’s get back to that. You’re gay?” Chas asked, looking at Aaron.

“Yes, makes being married to a bloke easier.” There was a splash of laughter around them.

“And you’re gay?” Katie couldn’t help but ask Robert.

“He’s bi, if that’s any of your business. Do we have to go around the room and ask everyone’s sexuality?” Aaron asked, his eyes narrowed. Must be a sensitive subject with them.

The little boy Aaron was holding started to cry, he looked completely overwhelmed.

“I’m going to take the kids home, you get everything straight here,” Aaron told Robert, he ignored Cain’s laugh. “Mum, do you want to help me?”

“I have to take care of the bar,” she said, looking torn.

“Go on Chas, I’ll tend,” Alicia said, giving Chas a smile.

Chas and Aaron left with the kids and all eyes turned on Robert. When Aaron was there, he looked nervous but now Aaron was gone, well smug would be the right word.

“What are you playing at?” Zak asked, no kindness in his voice.

“I’m not playing at anything, I love my husband and my children,” Robert said. Katie didn’t believe him, he wasn’t to be trusted, never has been.

“Aaron’s not gay,” Cain said, but he didn’t look convinced.

“Yes, he is. It took ages for him to be okay with himself. I won’t have any of you talking down to him. He’s been through enough.”

“When the hell did you two get together?” Andy asked.

“I came for dad’s funeral. Didn’t want to see anyone, just say goodbye in my own way. On my way out of the village I picked up a hitchhiker, two guesses who it was.”

“Aaron’s been with you this whole time? Why didn’t he say anything on any of his visits?” Lisa asked.

“He didn’t want you to know, any of you. We both wanted to make something of ourselves before we came back here, and now we have.”

“Where’d you get enough money to buy Home Farm?” Sam asked.

“Like I already said, hard work.”

“You’ve never done a day’s hard work in your life,” Andy said.

“Just because our ideas of hard work aren’t the same doesn’t mean I don’t work. I heard from Aaron that you’re just a farm hand. Lost the farm, so to speak.”

“I’ve had enough of this, tell Aaron to come by tomorrow,” Lisa said, grabbing her coat.

“Just Aaron and the mites,” Zak added before they left. Sam followed after.

Katie saw the glare that Cain gave him, he would have a word later she was sure. She couldn’t look at Robert’s smug face a moment longer. Her only hope was he got caught out soon and kicked to the kerb. There was only one thing she wanted to go with that, that he would lose everything he had. She would make sure it happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I should continue with Chas and Aaron at Home Farm or just skip to the next day. If you have a preference please let me know.


	3. Talking Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy everyone is liking the story. While I try and do some research to make things believable it still is all made up so suspend reality on some things with law and medical please. Also, while making a AU story it's hard to keep everything straight so I may change things going on with other characters like Charity, Sam and Declan because they aren't the focus of this story. TRIGGER WARNING Non con mentioned

Outside of the pub, Chas was surprised to see Aaron heading to new BMW Sport.

“Is this yours?” she asked him while she followed.

“Yeah, none of Robert’s cars could hold all the kids.” He picked up the bigger baby, a boy of about fifteen months, with a head full of dark hair and almond shaped eyes. Aaron put him in his car seat and buckled him in. Then he moved on to the other baby, a girl, she looked about seven months old. She was gorgeous, they all were. She had light blonde hair where you could almost miss it because it was so light. Then there was the little boy, who had already taken his seat and buckled himself up in his booster.”

“You have lovely children,” she said, not knowing what to say. She had been a grandmother and had no idea. Why hadn’t he told her? How long has her little boy been a father? He was still a young man, why did he need the responsibility of children?

“They’re alright,” he said making a face at the boy, that got a small tittering laugh from him.

“Where’s Tata?”

“Who’s Tata?” Chas asked.

“It’s what he calls Robert.”

“Really Aaron, Robert Flamin’ Sugden,” she started her rant.

“Not in front of my children,” he said, his voice harsh. “You can come with us and after I put them down for bed you, we can talk.”

“Sorry, yeah, I’d like that.”

* * *

Aaron finally was able to get Rory down. He was worried because all the people he saw didn’t look happy to see Robert. Ollie dropped right off to sleep, and Violet was already asleep when they arrived home.

“Would you like a cuppa?” he asked, leading his mum into the kitchen.

“That would be lovely.”

He went about making the tea waiting for her to start in on him. His mum had never been one to hold her words when she had questions. He poured her a cup and handed it to her.

“I really like what you’ve done here. It looks much more modern now.”

Aaron smiled and sat. “That was Robert’s idea. Because of the renovation he wanted something in this century he said.”

“Luv, what is going on? You never told me you were gay.”

He knew this hurt her, she wanted to know what was going on with him, but he kept these huge secrets from her. At one time just the thought of telling anyone he was gay made him sick to his stomach. Thoughts of his father and what he had done to him, wondering if that was what shaped him into the person he was today. It was only after Robert helped him and then his therapy after he started cutting that changed that idea.

The cutting hadn’t started until they had been together for a few months. He hadn’t even been eighteen yet. They had a stupid row and Aaron ended things. Robert being Robert wanted to prove that he wasn’t as hurt as he was. He found a woman in town and went home with her. They were broken up so he wasn’t cheating but Aaron couldn’t deal. His whole life revolved around Robert, and here Robert was bedding some slag from a grimy pub.

Aaron didn’t just start cutting himself because he broke up with his boyfriend. No, it was after finding out about the bird, he went out and decided to play Robert’s own game. The bloke he found though didn’t listen when Aaron told him to stop. It was like he was thrown back in time, that eight-year-old who couldn’t fight back. He pleaded for the man to stop but was overpowered by the larger man. When he didn’t Aaron did what he did when he was younger, he went somewhere else in his mind.

Then the man was gone, and Aaron shook so much he dropped a glass. Picking it up, he cut his hand. That was the start of finding release in pain. Being able to move on with his life. Robert wanted to get back together, but Aaron feared Robert seeing the cuts, one day Robert came home early though. Aaron cursed not moving out, but he didn’t make enough to go anywhere on a night auditor’s pay. Robert saw the cuts and that was it, he didn’t leave Aaron alone until he agreed to get help. Aaron tried but the wait was long. Then Robert worked overtime, got another job and did it all for Aaron. That’s the kind of man Robert Sugden is, he wouldn’t have anyone saying anything wrong about him.

His mum’s hand covered his, making him jump back into present. He had gotten lost in his memories.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked why you never told me you were gay?”

“I guess it was easier. No one could talk about me or make jokes about me if they didn’t know.”

“I would have understood. I love you so much, don’t you know that?”

He moved his hand from under hers and grabbed it. “I know. I also know I never made it easy for anyone to love me. I’m finally at a place in my life where I’m alright. Robert makes it alright.”

She shook her head. “Luv, you don’t know Robert if you think that. He’s a cad, if you don’t believe me ask Katie or Andy.”

“Mum, there are a few things I won’t let be said. I don’t care what Robert did before, he’s the one I trust more than anyone else in this world, that includes you. If you want to have a relationship with me or the kids in any way, you won’t talk about him like that. Talk however you like when you’re not around me, the kids or Robert.”

She looked hurt but he needed to lay it all out. They didn’t move back for his mum and other to gossip about stuff they have no business.

“I’m sorry, luv. I just don’t want you hurt.”

“I didn’t meet him yesterday. I’ve been in love with Robert since I was seventeen. There is nothing I don’t know about the man. So, can you accept this?”

She looked him in the eye. “I’ll accept anything to have you back. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Good, so what’s been going on?” he asked to change subjects.

They talked about everything that happened to Sam, Charity and how it was possible for him and Robert to even buy Home Farm. Belle had a boyfriend for a while but broke up. Her friend moved away, but Belle was on the outs with her anyway, so it was a good thing.

“How are you, really?” he asked his mother.

“Me? I’m great, now. Tomorrow I can’t wait to get kid cuddles. I’m not going to ask why I’m only finding out now I have grandchildren. By the way, I’m way too young to have grandchildren.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you had a baby so young,” he said, smiling a little.

“Cheeky. So, tell me about them.”

“Rory’s the oldest, he just turned five. We share a birthday.” His mum smiled. “He and Ollie are biological brothers; they have had a horrible life until they were taken into care. He has scars on his back, you’ll probably see. The POS who called himself his stepfather used to whip him with a horsewhip.” His mum gasped. “Rory doesn’t like to be touch at all; he’s somehow let me into his little world but even Robert hasn’t even gotten so much as a cuddle from him. So, don’t take it personally and let the others know not to touch him. His doctors said to let him see affection, show him that emotions are alright to have. Ollie is delayed because of malnutrition and neglect, the more affection the better with him. His doctors are sure he’ll catch up with his peers with hard word. He has emotional problems to watch out for, just like Rory. Ollie’s sixteen months old, he doesn’t talk or even try to talk yet, but he’s done amazing with walking. When we got him, he didn’t even crawl at eleven months. Now he can walk, the doctor is sure the talking will come, I have to find a speech therapist soon.”

“He’s only a baby, he doesn’t need that.”

“I have to be proactive in this, I know it might seem over the top, but I can’t let anything slide.”

“My little boy really is a dad,” she said, her eyes misting some, embarrassing him.

“Yeah, I’m mostly home with the kids. I don’t need to have my own job and Rory and Ollie need stability.”

“I’ll say you don’t need one. Home Farm, I can’t believe it. But you do know there is bad luck with this place.”

“This is where Robert wanted to live and it’s not so bad. A lot bigger than our old home.”

“Can I ask a question without you getting upset?”

Sighing, he didn’t like the sound of that. “Fine.”

“Are you protected just in case he decides to be done with you?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m fine. The kids are fine.”

“I just don’t want him lording his money over you. Making you beg him for things.”

He closed his eyes, wondering how much he could trust her with. He loved her but didn’t fully trust her. “Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

She nodded but didn’t look like she agreed but thankfully didn’t say anything else. Soon he heard Robert coming in, he hoped they both behaved.

“The look on Andy’s face was priceless,” Robert said loudly, probably guessing he was somewhere close.

“I’m got to go back to the pub. I’m so happy you’re home. See you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He gave her a hug about the same time Robert entered the kitchen. “Oh, I didn’t know you were still here.”

“I’m going now.”

“Rob, can you take her back to the pub. It’s too dark for her to be walking.”

“No problem.”

It looked like she wanted to argue but she kept her mouth shut. Aaron watched them leave and hoped they didn’t tear each other into shreds.

* * *

Robert could feel the anger coming off Chas in waves. He waited; he knew she wouldn’t stay quiet. The Dingles really didn’t like him, not that he cared but it would hurt Aaron.

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he’ll see you for who you are,” she snapped.

“I loved him, and I never abandoned him, it’s amazing what those two things do for people. I never took other people’s side over his. Maybe you should try it,” he said, watching her face get red.

As he stopped outside the pub, she opened the car’s door and slammed it. Quickly before she walked inside stuck his head out the window. “What, no wedding present?” She went inside without saying anything else. “Guess not,” he said. Some of the locals eyeing him as they passed. 


	4. A Proposal

The looks he was getting from other villagers made him wonder if it was because of being married to a man or just being himself. When he left all those years ago, he had no idea he would be coming back with a husband instead of a wife. Truthfully, he had no plans to return at all. While he had always known he liked women and men, he preferred women only slightly but that could because women were less likely to batter you when you tried to pull. That was until he met Aaron, after that, he was totally lost. While everyone else expected him to mess up or let them down, Aaron expected loyalty and security. Those were two things that Robert would always make sure he had. It had been something Aaron never had as a child. Being abandoned by his mum at such a young age, then there was whatever made him not get on with his dad. Robert and the kids were Aaron’s family now, he would make sure nothing hurt him again if he could help it.

Still, the staring at him was getting a bit old. Aaron took the kids over to Zak and Lisa’s for a visit. That left Robert putting some plans into action that he knew Aaron wouldn’t be pleased about. Aaron had no want to run Home Farm, he told Robert from the beginning it was his baby to do with what he pleased. What Robert pleased was seeing a lot of people knocked off their high horses, a certain blonde to name one.

Aaron had his own plans now they were back. Mostly it was something to do with the kids but there was something he was hiding. Robert didn’t think it was something bad, but it made him very curious. It was a good thing he trusted Aaron, or he might think he was cheating on him. A man’s name kept appearing on Aaron’s phone all hours of the day, when he asked what it was about Aaron would say ‘just working on something’ and leave it at that. What kind of name was Jackson anyway?

“What are you doing?”

Robert looked up from the papers he was making sure was in order to see who was speaking to him.

“I don’t see how that’s any business of yours,” he told his brother.

“Why are you back here? You never wanted to be here before.”

They were standing in front of the Woolpack; it was still early yet so no patrons were coming in and out.

“Aaron.”

“What about Aaron? Do you expect me to believe you really are married to him?”

Robert laughed. “Why would I lie about that?”

“I don’t know Rob, why lie about everything else you’ve ever lied about?”

The conversation was taking too long and he needed to meet his potential new estate manager. Not that he really planned to hire her, but it would be fun to watch her squirm. A little part of him thought he might tread carefully because Nicola was certifiable. She had left her CV with his solicitor, he decided he might as well see what she had to say.

“This has been fun, but I really have better things to be doing.”

“How were you able to buy Home Farm? And don’t give me hard work line again, we both know that’s not true.”

“If you’re so smart, you figure it out.”

“Maybe I should just ask Aaron.”

“If you like, he’ll tell you the same thing I am, which is none of your business.”

Andy stood in front of him, blocking his way. “We both know you’re scum, Robert. Aaron Livesy wasn’t much better, sure he’s calmed some since he was a teenager, but no one could stand him. Why don’t the two of you just go back where you came from.”

“Watch it, Andy. Jealousy not a good color on you, neither is that shirt.” He pushed by Andy and left; he didn’t need to defend himself.

* * *

“What’s this?” Lisa asked, looking at the envelope that Aaron just handed her. It was a large one with several documents.

“Your job offer.”

“My what? I have a job; I work at the factory.”

“You work too hard for little money that doesn’t make a dent in your bills. I’ll be honest with you; I don’t like how hard I had to watch you work when Zak was sick. You stressed yourself and it’ll be a miracle if you haven’t done damage to your heart.” She opened her mouth to say something, but Aaron stopped her. “I’m not totally noble here, I need someone I trust with this job.”

“What is the job, you haven’t said?” she asked, she looked genuinely curious, that was a good sign.

Zak had Rory outside showing him the animals. The babies were playing on the floor with some toys Lisa had given them. He hoped that Rory was doing well outside, Zak understood about Rory’s needs not to be touched.

“Officially, childcare.”

“You’re joking right? You want me to leave my job that I support my family on and be a babysitter?” She was incredulous.

“Look at the first sheet before anything else.”

She glowered at him but did as he asked. Her eyes widened at the pay.

“What? Is this for the year?”

“No, that is one mouth’s pay.”

“You’re having me on, this isn’t real.”

“Listen, I mean it.”

“Why not your mum?”

He knew what she was asking, and he had to be truthful. “I love my mum, but she’s never been the motherly type. Anyway, she has the pub.”

“I can’t take care of three young children, especially ones that need so much help. I’m sorry.” She looked like she meant it.

“It’s not for three kids, only one. Rory. Rory needs people he can trust, and I’m not good at trusting anyone. We may have had our barneys, but I know for a fact I can trust you with my child’s life.”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking of me.”

“Rory was severally abused in his home life before he was taken into care. For me to be able to get anything done I’ll need to be able to get out and do things. Rory is very attached to me and while the doctors are happy, he’s bonding, they are worried he’ll close himself off to everyone else. With his issues with Robert looking similar to his stepfather, it’ll be an uphill battle there. Because of everything I told you, he’ll be having home education for the first year after summer holiday. What I was thinking is I bring him over in the mornings, he can help with the farm and any thing that you need to do out and about. Ollie is going to start nursery soon; his doctor thinks that being around children the same age will help his development. I’m going to get a part time nanny for Violet, she won’t be your responsibility. I need someone I trust to take Rory places, introduce him to people. Show him how to live without being scared of life.”

“Isn’t that what his parents are for?” she asked, seeming to look through him.

“I wanted a family, my own family. Robert’s been brilliant but he works a lot. He’s gone more than he’s not, I’m not good without a safety net.” They had bonded on his two-month visit, he trusted her. He hoped he was able to get his point across. He didn’t want to tell her that all it took for him to lose the plot was a few wrong moves. He needs the family that he had always heard about the one that watched out for each other, it never worked for him before, not really. His hope was that it would protect his children.

“But this is too much,” she said waving the document.

“I need you. I need the woman who could put Shadrach Dingle in his place. The woman who took on this entire insane family and didn’t blink. The one woman strong enough to take on her attacker, a feat that makes me shake just to consider.” He knew he had said too much, the look on her face said it all.

“Aaron?”

“Never mind that, so what do you say?” His heart started to beat hard, he hoped she dropped it.

She looked like she wanted to argue but took a breath and grabbed his hand. “I say, I’ll make a pig farmer out of him yet.” Aaron smiled, knowing that now he was going to have to tell Robert what was going on. That wasn’t going to be fun, the man who wanted to rise above farming was going to have is oldest as a pig farmer-in-training, He was so dead.


	5. Drinks

“What have you been doing today?” Robert asked as he finally was able to sit down.

They were at the pub which was a real treat with three kids. They had been back in the village for a month now. Everything had seemed to calm even if he got the evil eye from a few of the villagers. Chas wanted to watch the kids for the night just while they had some drinks, Aaron had been hesitant, but Robert talked him ‘round. Robert wasn’t the biggest fan of Chas and she seriously had the hate on for him, but Aaron needed her.

“You know, taking kids to appointments, dropping Rory off at the farm.”

Robert rolled his eyes; he really didn’t like his son spending so much time with pig farmers. He did have to admit since Lisa started minding Rory, he had grown leaps and bounds. He still didn’t want to be touched by most people, but he had added Lisa, Zak, Belle and Sarah to his cuddle rotation. Still no closer with him so much as giving Robert so much as a fist bump. That didn’t bother him…much. Aaron had finally told him about him resembling Rory’s stepfather. It annoyed him that Aaron kept that quiet, no matter his intentions. Robert needed to know all the information; they had a row over that.

“He’ll be a pig farmer over my dead body.”

Aaron laughed. “It’s good for him. I only visited a few times when I was young, between how I grew up and Belle, I choose her life for our kids.”

“That’s only because you didn’t grow up on a farm. Trust me, it’s not great.”

“I don’t think Andy would agree. Which brings up something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.”

Robert didn’t like the sound of that. He had been doing well to keep distance between himself and Andy.

“What?”

“I know we agreed that you would do everything with Home Farm, and I wouldn’t be involved.”

“Uh huh.” Not liking it more by the minute.

“What’s your plans for Wiley’s Farm?”

“Nothing, it’s a pit.”

“Well, I think you should sell to Andy and Katie.”

“WHAT?” People started to look over at them, but he didn’t pay them any mind.

“You know that Katie and Andy got back together, I think it was their mutual hatred of you. I know you have your reasons to hate him, but I think it’s time to let it go. Andy needs to be able to make a living because if you haven’t forgotten, he is the father of Debbie’s kids.”

“How does that involve me giving him a farm?”

“Not giving, letting him buy it.”

“No.”

“Just think about it, you could hold this over his head for the rest of your life.”

Robert did like the sound of that but suspected that Aaron was playing him. He knew what to say to get him to give in. Thing was, he misjudged how much he hated Andy, and Andy plus Katie was more than enough for him to say no.

“I’ll think about it, that’s all I’ll promise.”

“Thank you. Now, for some more stuff you might not like.”

He needed more to drink if this was any indication of how the rest of his night was going. “Yes?”

“I’ve hired Katie. She’s going to help me find a horse for Rory and help teach him to ride.”

“You’re taking a piss, right?”

“No, I’ve read up on it, animals are good emotional support for children like him. He’s scared of dogs and I don’t want a cat. It seemed the next logical step, we do have stables after all. She’s my mum’s best friend.”

“I’m going home. You knew how I felt about both Andy and Katie and you’ve decided to bring them more in our lives. Not just getting me to sell to Andy but a job for Katie.” When Aaron went to stand Robert waved him off. “Don’t bother. I’ll walk home so you can drive the kids.” With that he walked out. Leaving Aaron sitting there dumbfounded. He thought they were making progress. He knew who much Robert hated Katie and Andy, but he asked this of him anyway. That was too much, he didn’t know what to say.

His mobile rang, he answered it without looking thinking it was Aaron coming to his senses.

“Aaron?”

“Uh, no, this is Lawrence White.”

What was he doing calling him? He hadn’t spoken to the man since they saw each other at a machinery convention months ago. Lawrence had been livid once he found out that he was leaving and starting his own business. Lawrence never even questioned why Robert had the non-compete clause in his contract taken out.

“What can I do for you Lawrence?” he asked.

“I have a business I need to speak with you, a proposition if you will, I was hoping we could talk to over in person.”

“Look, thank you for thinking of me but I think I’m going to have to pass.”

“You should come and see me; I have some information you might be interested in.”

Now he was curious. He didn’t like Lawrence White, him and his daughter thought they were better than him. Just because he was born a farmer’s son and not to a rich businessman.

“Just tell me.”

“Did you know your husband is playing around on you, playing you for a fool?”

“You’re lying, Aaron would never.”

“Someone sent me the video, I guess they thought you still worked for me. With it is a demand for ten million or this video would be made public along with Aaron being a lottery winner.” Robert felt his face get hot with anger; he had told Lawrence because at the time he thought he would promote him.

“I’ll be there in an hour,” he said, disconnecting. He needed to get his car and find Lawrence. What video could he be looking at? He was Aaron’s first and he knew his husband never cheating on him…maybe.

Who was blackmailing them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter won't be very happy, sorry in advance.


	6. Secrets and Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as bad as I planned. Decided to hold some stuff off.

As he drove, the more scenarios ran through his mind. The texts from some bloke named Jackson. Aaron’s secret mission that he refused to tell Robert anything about. He would drop Rory off with Lisa, then the babies at with some family member who wanted to spend time. Last time it was Victoria while Aaron was ‘unreachable’. What did that even mean?

Maybe it was his guilty conscious because all he thought about was the excuses he used to cheat. How he would use women and men and not feel the least bit bad about it. The closest had been Katie but she made her decisions, he didn’t make her cheat on Andy. Just the thought of Aaron cheating on him turned his stomach. Could he forgive? That was a strange thought. Him forgiving someone else for being unfaithful.

Lawrence was waiting for him and lead him into his study. Robert never had the urge to hit someone as much as he did now. Why was this happening now? He knew people hated him, but Aaron didn’t talk to enough people to aggro them. At least not since Robert met him, before that he was right gobby, so he had heard. Aaron didn’t talk, it was like pulling teeth to have a conversation with him. None of this made sense to him.

“So, me the video,” he said without preamble.

Lawrence sighed but hit play on his computer, playing a video. The first thing that Robert noticed was that the camera was placed too close to get a good view of the room, but he noticed that sofa anywhere, it was his old one in his tiny flat. That meant this video was at least four years old. Another thing that jumped out to him, Aaron fighting and yelling, fighting like his life depended on it. Robert’s stomach dropped at what he was witnessing. The man was too strong for Aaron, he was overpowered. Aaron suddenly went limp and was sort of spaced out. It was like he died, and no one told his eyes, just staring out into nothing. It was over and the video ended after the man who had raped him righted his clothes and grabbed his camera, he must have put it down somewhere so Aaron couldn’t see. Robert wanted to be sick all over the floor.

“That’s not Aaron cheating, that’s Aaron being raped,” he seethed. How could anyone see that video and think that Aaron wanted that to happen? It was more than clear because the man hurt Aaron had edited so his face couldn’t be seen. Every time he turned towards the camera his face and neck were blurred out.

“Are you sure about that? Looks to me he was just playing hard to get for a while.”

“Then I would hate to know what you do in bed. Because that was not sex, that was rape. Or did you not hear Aaron begging him to stop?”

“I’m not the one who made the video, just the one it got sent to. Here’s the letter,” Lawrence said, thrusting a slip of stationery paper at him.

**_Either I get 10 million pounds, that’s not much to someone with the money, or if not, this gets shared with millions. How do you think he would feel for his mother to see this?_ **

Whoever sent it, sent it to him and not Aaron, that had to mean something. Robert got the video from Lawrence and left. He was so angry he couldn’t think straight. The biggest thought going around in his mind was why hadn’t Aaron told him? They lived in that flat together for almost a year and a half, only had split up the once but continued to live in the same flat.

He could kick himself, why didn’t he see it before. Everything made sense, after the bust-up Aaron started cutting. It wasn’t because he couldn’t live with Robert though, it was because some man raped him. Why hated he told Robert? He knew the answer to that, he hadn’t trusted Robert enough. Trust and Aaron were hard won, and he was sure he just recently gotten it. Now he had to decide what he was going to do, tell Aaron or take care of it by himself.

* * *

He was asleep when Robert finally came home the night before. The next morning Aaron got the kids up and out before Robert woke. He took the babies to nursery and dropped Rory off with Lisa. He had plans and couldn’t put them off any longer.

He was at the old wreckage of Whiteley’s farm, most of the land was auctioned off years ago. What was left was a good bit of land that he had purchased in February. He had found a builder and had him demolish most of what was left and see what could be salvaged. Then he hired an architect to draw up the plans, with his input. His contractor had a good size group of builders working for him. When he met the man, he told him a few years ago he was a solo builder but had to expand with more jobs.

The builder’s van pulled up not long after he had arrived.

“I see you beat me here,” Jackson said, a bright smile on his face.

“Yeah, looking at what you’ve done so far.” It was quite a lot; the old house was gone, and the new frames was up. “A lot in a few months.”

“Since you’ve been back, we’ve been able to do more. I don’t like doing much without approval. This is a big job, didn’t want to have the wrong idea.”

“I bet. This is going to be amazing.”

“So, is it still a secret?” Jackson asked. Aaron had told him in the beginning to not make a lot of noise while working.

“No, I guess not. Just don’t make the locals mad, I’m already not their favourite person.”

“I won’t bring my drum kit while working, deal.”

Aaron laughed. He liked Jackson he was really friendly, the kind of person everyone liked. Sometimes he wondered about being with someone like that, some likable. Robert was likable in his own way; it was all charm. As soon as you weren’t important to him anymore, you were nothing. Aaron had seen him do it over and over again. He wondered when he wouldn’t be important to Robert anymore.

“Right, well, I’ll be seeing you.”

“One question if you don’t mind. If you just bought Home Farm, why build this?”

“The truth?” Jackson nodded. “I want a back up plan. Let’s just say, I’ve never been the sure where my life is going one minute to the next. But I have kids now, I have to think of them.” If he didn’t have the money, he really didn’t know what his backup plan would be. But again, if he didn’t have the money, he didn’t think anyone in their right mind would have let him adopt the boys and they wouldn’t have been able to get a surrogate.


	7. Night Away

For what felt like the fifth time he was having to listen to Diane and Vic complain about not being at his wedding.

“If you would have let anyone in your family know, we would have been there,” Diane said again.

After more than a month of this he finally broke. “There was a member of my family there.”

“Who?” Vic demanded.

“Grandmother.”

“That’s impossible, she would have told us,” Vic said.

“No, she wouldn’t. I asked her not to tell anyone. She didn’t like keeping quiet but kept her word.”

“I don’t understand, why wouldn’t you tell us but tell Annie?” Diane asked.

“Because, she didn’t judge me like you all. Everyone here just waits for me to do something. And we really wanted some family there, so I asked her.”

Diane looked upset but her pride was too much and she accepted it for something she couldn’t change. Vic on the other hand huffed and left the room. He knew he wasn’t going to win her over on why he had done it. But how do you explain that you were scared of your family disowning you? His father made sure he knew he wasn’t accepted in any way.

“She’ll come around, pet,” Diane finally said before leaving herself.

“What are you doing here?”

Just because he was her son-in-law there was still no love lost between him and Chas. He assumed it was because of his dealings with Debbie. It could be because of Katie but he really didn’t know or care. But he needed something from her so he would have to use his charm.

“Chas, just the person I wanted to see.”

“Really? You’re never the person I want to see.”

“I’m hurt. I want to take Aaron out for a night away for our anniversary. I wanted to see if you could watch Ollie and Violet at ours. But if you don’t think you can do it, I understand.”

“Hold on, I never said that. Why only Ollie and Violet, what about Rory?”

“He’s staying with Lisa and Zak.” He argued against it, but it was who Rory felt safer with if he and Aaron weren’t around. It actually had him a little jealous how attached Rory was to the older couple after only a month when here he was closing in on a year with Rory and nothing.

“When?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Where are you taking Aaron?”

“Bardon Park Hotel.”

“That’s a little posh, isn’t it?”

Robert didn’t bother to answer her. She was either referring to it being too good for him or Aaron or both, he didn’t like assumption.

“Can you or do I have to ask Diane?” He didn’t want to because a toddler and a baby were a bit much for a woman Diane’s age. He would ask Vic, but he thought maybe she was still a little steamed.

“Of course, I would love to spend time with my grandchildren.”

Robert nodded. “Aaron has their schedule written down on the counter in the kitchen. Refer to it always, if you don’t, he gets pretty aggro.”

“My son the mother hen.”

“Don’t let him hear you call him that, let’s just say he’s touchy on some things.”

* * *

“Maybe I should ring Mum again, it’ll be time to put them down soon.”

He couldn’t shake the feeling something very wrong was going to happen. It was like deep in his soul something wrong was sitting there. Robert thought he was just being overprotective of the kids, but it wasn’t that, he had no worries about Rory, he was safe with Lisa and Zak. Zak was a scary bloke to upset, Lisa was no wilting flower either. While his mum was tough beyond compare, she was easily fooled. It was why Carl and Cameron had been in her life, not to mention his own father. He shivered just thinking about the man. Not only that, she was by herself in that big house with two small children. If someone broke in, she would be in serious trouble, same with the kids.

“Rob, I know this is stupid, but I have a really bad feeling. Please, I’ll just be a minute.”

Robert huffed but handed him his mobile and fell back on the bed, where they had just started the night’s entertainment.

No one answered after several rings, it went into voicemail. That alone made his blood pressure shoot up. “She’s not picking up. We have to go back.”

“Be reasonable, she’s probably just putting them to bed and left her mobile. Try the landline or maybe have someone in your family take a look. That would be much faster than us driving back.”

Aaron couldn’t really argue with that logic so he rang Zak and Lisa’s to see if Sam could go check. They promised he would and would ring as soon as possible.

It felt like eternity until his mobile rang, his mum’s name popping up.

“Mum? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, luv. I almost had Ollie to sleep when Sammy comes busting in like a madman. That woke up Violet and stopped Ollie from falling asleep. So, thank you.”

He felt like an idiot, he was sure something was wrong. Now he had scared both kids and his mum, and judging from Robert’s face ruined their night.

“Sorry. We’ll come back so you can go home and rest.”

Robert grabbed the mobile away from him. “We will not be doing that; we’ll be staying here. Violet will be easy to get back to sleep just put on her music. Take Ollie with you to the TV room, put him on the sofa beside you and cover him up. Put on Top Gear, puts him to sleep every time. Alright, yeah, Ta.”

Aaron didn’t like being overruled but this was Robert’s planned night out. Nothing was going on at Home Farm and he had already made a mess out of most of the night.

“I’m sorry, okay,” he said impishly.

“I get it, it’s the first night that neither of us are there. If you don’t remember when it was just me home, you would call every half hour.” Aaron knew he was guilty of that.

“How do I fix this?” he asked, hoping to stop the pick on Aaron parade.

“I have a few ideas,” Robert said, giving him that look, the look he knew very well.

* * *

Robert knew he would have to tell Aaron before they left. He wanted to get everything out in the open and didn’t want it to happen around the kids. After the little hiccup the night before everything went great. It was a shame they couldn’t stay another night, but he knew he was pushing it with one. Aaron was terrified to leave the kids alone very long. It was like he was afraid something would happen to them in the safety of their own beds.

This morning he was going to ask Aaron about the video, Aaron’s rape. There was no doubt in his mind that that’s what happened. The video was clear as day. Now how to bring up to his husband he knew about the most painful day in his life?

“Why aren’t you ready?” Aaron asked, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Check out isn’t for another two hours.”

“I know but Rory has an appointment today, I don’t want to miss it.”

“He’s five and it’s Sunday, what kind of appointment could it be that is that important?”

“I don’t want you to kick off.”

Not something that endeared him to whatever was happening today. “Why would I?”

“Katie found a horse she thinks would be perfect for Rory. We’re supposed to meet her, then we’ll travel together to look.”

Robert did his best not to grind his teeth. Katie was always there, and he didn’t want her to say anything to make Aaron think twice about their relationship.

“Why don’t I go with Katie and Rory, I know you’re still a little wound up from last night. You and the littles can stay at the house and settle down.”

“I don’t know, it’s not like you and Katie get on, at least anymore.” There was a touch of reprimand in his tone that Robert didn’t like.

“We’re grownups now; I think I can handle taking my son to look at a horse. Besides, who has more experience with horses, me or you?”

“Good point. Fine, but don’t just say no because you don’t like her. Remember this is for Rory.”

“I promise.” Today was not the right day to bring up what he had learned. He would have to wait for some other time.


	8. Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit shorter of a chapter.

“Tata, did you see how pretty she was?” Rory asked…again as they drove home.

“Yes, she was very pretty,” he begrudgingly agreed. Not only was the horse very pretty, she had a great temperament. She also had a great connection with Rory.

Unique Sunday or Sunny was a great horse, terrible name but a great horse. She was a four-year-old, Chestnut Irish Sport. She was quiet and very mature for her age. He had to give Katie credit; she was prefect. He gave Katie the okay to start testing her to make sure he was everything that she seemed.

“Why does he call you Tata?” she asked.

“Polish for dad, his mum was Polish. He was never allowed to call his stepfather it. He’s always wanted one,” he said quietly so Rory couldn’t hear.

“Ms. Katie thank you for Sunny,” Rory said.

“You’re welcome but we don’t have her yet. There are a few trials she needs to go through before we bring her home to you.”

“She’ll be alright though, right? She won’t be lonely without me, will she?”

“No, she’ll be okay,” Katie smiled over to Robert. It was funny Rory seemed not to remember that Sunny had just met him.

Robert’s mobile rang, looking at the ID he knew to let it go to voicemail. There was no way he would be able to talk freely in front of Katie and Rory. It was the private investigator he had hired to find out about the video and who sent it to him. He only had some information, but the investigator was sure he would turn up something.

“You going to answer that?” Katie asked him.

“Driving, wouldn’t be safe.” He hoped she dropped it but looking at her face he now saw her interest was piqued.

“You’ve never been one for safety. Who is it?” she asked, looking at the mobile screen. It read Private.

“It’s none of your business.”

The rest of the drive was in silence, but he knew he had to be more careful around Katie. He didn’t want Aaron finding out about any of this until he had a solution. As much as he loved Aaron, he worried about him too. When he met him, Aaron was a loud, mouthy chav who had a smart remark for everything. But as the months past, he found out it was all a façade. It was a mask he wore to hide the real him, the Aaron that was so scared and damaged that he thought no one could ever love him for who he was. As scared as Robert was of his family finding out about his sexuality was nothing compared to Aaron’s. It had taken years for Aaron to even consider letting any of them know. That was why he kept going to the village once a year, to feel them out. See how they would take him being gay. But he bottled it every year and never even questioned them. He would say Cain made a comment on someone. Or Zak wouldn’t handle it. Robert got enough nerve to tell his grandmother but Aaron, he was too scared.

So, it just became a thing they ignored until the kids came into their lives. It was decided then that they couldn’t hide children, they couldn’t hide themselves. To do so would be saying they were ashamed of each other, of their life and their children. While telling the village he was married to a man wasn’t his idea of fun, he wasn’t ashamed. He loved Aaron more than the world. But what made it fun was shoving his success in their faces. They never needed to know where he got the startup for his company and that they had more money than anyone ever needed.

When he dropped Katie off, he didn’t like the suspicious glint in her eye. There was no getting around it though because no one could find out what he was doing. If the Dingles found out someone hurt one of their own, blood would be spilled. Chas might not be mother of the year, but she was dead scary.

* * *

“I think Robert is cheating on Aaron,” Katie said without hesitation. She had just arrived at the pub after Robert dropped her off.

Chas eyed her with curiosity with a mix of anger. “Why would you say something like that?”

“All the signs are there, I have seen it from both sides. He’s secretive, hiding who he’s talking to, defensive. This is in his handbook how to get away with it. We’re friends and I don’t want Aaron hurt. The best thing to happen is for him to see Robert for what he is and take the kids and leave him. Maybe without Aaron, Robert will leave the village and Aaron won’t have to see him.”

“You mean you won’t have to see him.” Katie sent her a look. “I don’t know. They seem really happy; couldn’t you be mistaken?”

“I know him, Chas. I know him better than anyone, especially Aaron. He doesn’t have it in him to be faithful.”

Chas shook her head. “Well, I know my son…mostly. The only person he trusts is Robert, you’ll have to catch him out for Aaron to believe you.”

“Then that is what I’ll do.”


	9. Caught in the Act?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long. Hope you all enjoy.

Aaron decided it was time to tell Robert about Whiteley’s farm. He knew it would upset him but keeping it from him felt too much like lying. Not only that, Jackson and his team had been putting in the hours and would be close to where a decorator would take over soon. It was nothing like Home Farm with its grandiose size. It was going to be just a small farmhouse, four bedrooms, small ones. There was a detached garage, enough for two cars.

Maybe he thought that if Robert saw this new place, he would want to move out of Home Farm. The place gave Aaron a serious bout of the creeps, so much bad had happened there, ghosts of it’s past. He didn’t want to force it but if Robert made the decision it would be different. There was the big problem of Robert hating EVERYTHING farm related. Then of course, he had to worry about Robert’s reaction to finding out he had a new house built without so much as a word to him. It seemed like as soon as they got the money, keeping secrets became easier.

He remembered how close he had been to telling Robert everything before his mum. He wanted to unburden himself, he was so close to spilling it all about Gordon. But then they fell out a few months into their relationship. It had been stupid; he could admit that now. It was plain jealousy; Robert was working late hours with Chrissie after swearing nothing was going on between them. One day he just got tired of Aaron always being suspicious and broke up with him. That was when Aaron knew he really loved him; he was heartbroken. Then the next day Robert decided to hurt him by bringing some woman he just met home. That was when Aaron met one of the two men who haunt his nightmares. Ivan had been his name, or at least what he told Aaron it was. After that happened, he told Robert he was going back to Emmerdale to see his mum to get his head on straight. Truth was he felt so dirty he didn’t want it to rub off on Robert. His mum had been happy to see him, she didn’t seem to see a difference. He put back on his prickly shell and no one thought anything of it. That was when he found out cutting was a reliable release, and it all had started with a piece of glass the night he was attacked.

That was a long time ago now, they didn’t feel like secrets anymore. They felt like a part of him, keeping him dirty and wrong. If Robert ever found out what would he say? What would he do? Would he stay with him out of pity? Would he leave him because he couldn’t be with someone that was so dirty? He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to find out any longer. It had to be a problem with him, he knew. First Gordon then Ivan, that was no coincidence, that was him. It all happened because of who he was. He caused it; his father was right. He couldn’t ever tell anyone.

Since they moved back to Emmerdale, he started to think of the beginning. He thought it might have started that first night, the drive to Leeds.

* * *

_Aaron could feel the bloke looking over at him every once and again. He did his best to keep his eyes on the scenery. It had been only a few minutes into their drive when Aaron started to regret being so hasty. All he ever wanted since he was eight was his mum to want him. His uncle Zak was right about him; he was a loser; his dad and Sandra didn’t want him anymore and his mum never had. Somewhere in his mind he had told himself that because she came to the police station she cared. She didn’t though, she cared about the man of the hour in her life, just like always. He had never been enough for anyone, couldn’t make her stay when he was little and couldn’t make his father keeping loving him. Couldn’t keep his father from ‘punishing’ him. He had done everything; he even had kept the secret. His father was supposed to love him, he hadn’t ever told anyone about the secret._

_Shaking his head, he left the past the past. If they didn’t want him, he didn’t want them. This was going to be his new start. All he had to do was figure out where he would sleep that night._

_“Who is your mum?” Robert asked, breaking Aaron from his thoughts._

_“Why?” he asked snarkily._

_“Just a question. No need to get all huffy.”_

_“Chas Dingle. Is that alright with you?”_

_Robert looked at him for a moment before focusing back on the road. “We’re practically family.”_

_“How to you reckon that?”_

_“Your Debbie and my brother Andy have a child together.”_

_“You’re Vic’s brother?”_

_“Yeah, are you mates?”_

_“We get on. Can’t say the same for Daz or Andy though.”_

_“Can’t blame you there.”_

_They sat in silence after that until they were near Leeds. He started to worry about where he would kip for the night. It wasn’t like he had never slept rough before, but he didn’t care for it. He didn’t have the clothing for sleeping rough in February._

_“Your dad died, that’s why you were there,” he blurted out._

_“Nothing gets by you,” Robert said. Aaron could feel Robert’s annoyance._

_“Sorry.” He felt bad, never the one to have the best tact._

_“It’s alright. So where am I taking you?”_

_Aaron thought about it. He didn’t have much on him and what he did would have to last. “How about the dodgiest hostel you can find.”_

_Robert sighed and Aaron wondered if he had made a mistake._

_“Can’t have you getting cut up in a dodgy hostel. I don’t want the wrath of the Dingles on me…again. My flat’s not big but I have a sofa you can sleep on.”_

* * *

Aaron smiled at the memory. Robert wasn’t the heartless bastard everyone thought he was. If he was, he would’ve dropped Aaron off and never thought about him again. Instead he gave him a place to stay, more than can be said of some of his own family.

* * *

Robert was meeting with his PI while Aaron visited with the few friends he had made. Nigel Holland was a gorgeous man and easy to spot in the café they had planned to meet. He decided to meet in Harrogate because he thought it was too risky in the village or even Hotten. There was only one little issue.

“I thought I was getting stood up,” Nigel said, standing up to shake Robert’s hand.

“No, my son’s sitter is sick, and my husband has stuff to do,” Robert said, moving slightly so Nigel could see Rory.

Rory had been quiet on the ride and mostly playing his handheld video game that he and Aaron had gotten him for his birthday. Knowing that he couldn’t speak freely with Rory in earshot he sat the boy down at a table and got him a piece of pie. Once he was enthralled with his dessert, Robert took Nigel over to the side to speak to him.

“Anything?” he asked quietly. They were standing in a corner, far enough away so Rory couldn’t hear but close enough for Robert to watch Rory.

“A little but not much.” He handed Robert a folder of pictures. “I watched that sick video too many times. I found a split second his face wasn’t covered.” He pointed to a photo still of the video. “But with this I’ll have better luck. I’m going to several places close to your old flat. Sorry it’s not more.”

“That’s alright. If you get a name ring me immediately.” He needed to find this guy before he told Aaron what his plan was. It wouldn’t be good to tell Aaron that he was looking for his rapist without knowing anything about the man in question. Robert shook the man’s hand again, surprised when pulled him into an embrace.

“Don’t want the kid hearing this, I’ve done that other thing you asked, you know who won't be bothering Aaron again.”

They pulled away. “Thank you.” Robert had asked him to look into someone who had given them issues before. A few years ago a wanna-be Casanova became a little obsessed with Robert. He thought he could get in between him and Aaron by telling Aaron they were having an affair. Aaron didn't believe him but with everyone in the village around, Robert didn't need the man to show his face back up which happens every few months. It sounded like Nigel made sure he got the message.

* * *

Katie needed to pick some things up for her horses in Harrogate. She was passing a café when she saw a familiar figure. Robert Sugden was hugging an attractive man right in the open, it looked really intimate. Then she noticed Rory sat near them, eating pie. He was meeting his lover while his son was right there. She hadn’t known Robert could even be that sick, clearly, she was wrong. She grabbed her mobile and took the picture just before the two broke apart. She left before Robert could see her. Aaron needed to see this proof about his husband, and Robert needed to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did the flashback because it was suggested. I like it but want to know if I should keep them up or drop them. Thanks.


	10. Secrets Shared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I wrote a few of the first couple chapters differently several times before posting my finished ones and did get confused about my storyline. Thankfully someone pointed it out, the last chapter I went back and fixed. Rory and Ollie's stepdad is dead. Alright now for the new chapter. Hope you all like it.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Aaron told Robert as they prepared for bed.

“What?”

Aaron smiled slightly as the toothbrush hung from Robert’s mouth. Sometimes the suave and sophisticated man was just a big goof.

“You know I’ve been working on something, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I had a house built for us on the old Whiteley farm.” There he said it, couldn’t go back now. He watched confusion settle over Robert’s face.

“But why?” he asked.

“Two reasons, but mostly because this place gives me the creeps. Mum says it has a curse on it.”

Robert rolled his eyes and Aaron narrowed his. As much as he loved Robert sometimes, he seemed to think Aaron was too dramatic. He had been called that by the man many times, most of the times it annoyed him but sometimes it just hurt.

“That’s dumb. What’s the other reason?”

This Aaron didn’t want to say, it would shine a light on his biggest insecurities within the relationship. “Doesn’t matter.”

“My husband has built a house months after we bought this one, I think it very much does matter. Tell me,” he demanded.

Aaron didn’t like this side of Robert, it scared him. The hard, unforgiving side of the man he loved. The man was glaring at him, waiting for him to say something that would make him even madder. “In case you chucked us out,” he said quietly, waiting for the fallout.

It wasn’t long in waiting. “Still? After all this time you’re still so insecure in us that you have a house built. After getting married? After three kids? You did this as what, a backup plan?”

Before Aaron could answer Robert left the bedroom, his toothbrush thrown across the room. A few moments later he could see Robert’s new car fleeing the residence. As much as he wanted to chase after him, beg for forgiveness he couldn’t. He had three children he had just put to bed. He would let Robert cool off some then try and ring him.

* * *

Robert woke the next morning with his head pounding and mouth dry. He didn’t remember much from the night before, after finding out Aaron had built a house because he didn’t expect them to last, well it hit him hard. After that he headed into Hotten and drank his weight, that’s where things get a little fuzzy. Alright not so much fuzzy as a complete blackout. He had never gotten so sloshed that he couldn’t remember what he had done.

He cautiously opened his eyes, expecting to see his room. It wasn’t though, he was in an unfamiliar place. By the looks of it, a hotel room. That made sense, he got too drunk the night before and got a room. Aaron would be worried, but he would explain, and everything would be fine. After all, it wasn’t every day you find out your husband has a backup plan because he doesn’t think your marriage will last.

Something moved beside him, no not something…someone. _Oh god no._ He couldn’t look over; this couldn’t be happening. He would never cheat on Aaron, could never. He shifted around some, hoping to wake from this nightmare.

“Would you quit moving, I thought you kicking in your sleep was bad enough,” a tired voice said.

“Aaron?” he asked, turning his head to see his husband in the bed next to him.

“Who were you expecting?” Aaron asked without opening his eyes.

“What happened last night, I don’t remember anything after going out and drinking.”

Aaron opened his eyes and sat up; Robert followed. “Around midnight you rang me, yelled somethings that didn’t really make sense. The bartender took your mobile and told me to come get you. I rang Mum and she came to stay with the kids, and I came to get you. You were completely pissed. I didn’t want to make a scene taking you home in front of Mum, so here we are.”

The weight on his chest from when he woke up next to someone lifted. Even in his state last night all he could think of was Aaron, that had to mean something. He had to admit with Katie and Andy always in his ear about cheating sometimes he doubted himself.

“I’m sorry for running out like that.”

“No, I’m sorry. Sometimes I can’t get out of my head. Now the place is almost finished we can sell it and make a nice profit of it.”

“Don’t do anything yet, we’ll talk this over. Right now, just come over here.”

He pulled Aaron to him and just held him; it had been a close one. The old Robert wouldn’t have thought twice about finding someone else for the night. The new one seemed to be smarter though and even when he was sloshed knew that he only wanted Aaron.

* * *

Aaron didn’t know if he should tell Robert what he told him the night before. He had always known that a drunk Robert was a chatty one. Last night was no different, the things that he said had tore him up. Some didn’t make sense until Robert broke down in the hotel room. He told him he was sorry he couldn’t protect him. When Aaron questioned him, he revealed he knew about the rape. Aaron had been gutted but he couldn’t let that show because he needed to care for Robert. When he asked Robert how long he knew, the man had fallen asleep. He decided this morning would be the day to get everything out in the open. Expose his shame, he knew he might lose Robert. After all, how could he have sex with Robert if Robert saw him as a victim. But since he already knew that, it was time to get it all out.

“Robert, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“You can tell me anything, you know that.” Aaron did know that, but this was hard. Robert expected Aaron to tell him about the man who had hurt him years ago, he was about to shatter that.

“Last night you told me about seeing a video of something. Do you remember that?”

Robert’s arms dropped from him and he got out of bed. Aaron stayed quiet while Robert paced. For a moment Aaron thought Robert would leave but he finally sat back down beside him.

“I told you?” Aaron nodded. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to tell you I knew that way.”

Aaron knew that was true, Robert was never cruel…at least to him. “There was something that didn’t make sense. You kept saying you saw the video. What video?”

Robert shifted. “Lawrence was sent a package; it contained a video of your assault. The scum who did that to you recorded it. He or someone with access found out about the money. They sent a letter saying they would release the video making sure your family would see if we don’t give them ten million.”

Aaron felt sick, it was worse than he thought. People couldn’t see that video, but he would never pay the man who did that to him. He wasn’t sure what to do, Robert was the one with all the plans.

“What were you going to do?” he asked.

“I hired someone to find the guy. Then I would make sure he never came near you or hurt you again.” The made sense, it was now or never about the other dark secret of his past.

“There’s something else you need to know, something that started a long time ago.”

“I’m not following.”

* * *

Robert watched as Aaron seem to talk himself into something. He already knew the worst thing that happened to his husband, what else could it be.

“You know I was eight when my mum left, right?”

Robert didn’t know where this was going. “Yeah.”

Robert sat in horror as Aaron described his father’s abuse starting at eight. Bile rose in his throat as Aaron relived his childhood trauma. No wonder his husband had so many issues. Aaron waking up screaming and in cold sweats made more sense now. Jack Sudgen had never been father of the year, at least to Robert but what Aaron’s did was perverse. This man didn’t deserve to live. Just when Robert thought Aaron was done describing his abuse, there was more to it. He couldn’t do anything more than sit there and listen. When Aaron was done talking, they both were crying, he wanted to hold Aaron but unsure if it would be welcomed.

“Please, I just really need you right now,” Aaron said as if reading his mind. Robert was there, wrapping him up in his arms never planning on letting go.


	11. Katie's Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while.

After what could only be described as a bad night, Aaron was ready to just call it quits on the whole day. Robert was nursing a hangover from his night of drinking, not only that Diane and his mum seemed to be looking at him strangely this morning. It wasn’t until he was at the Café with Violet that he found out why.

He was waiting for his order to be finished when he felt someone behind him. Turning he saw it was Katie, he knew she was his mum’s best mate, but he really didn’t know her. It didn’t help that Robert had a history with her. It made him a little jealous that Robert had been with her knowing what trouble it would cause his family. That had to mean she meant a lot to him, despite his protests.

“Alright?” he said in greeting.

“Was hoping to see you,” she said. He didn’t like the pretend fake sympathy he could see in her eyes.

“Yeah?” Violet started to fuss some, and he picked her up out of her pram.

Katie’s eyes followed his movements and she lost the fake look and truly looked sympathetic now.

“How’s it going?”

“Alright, for the most part. Rory can’t stop talking about Sunny, have you talked to the owner again?”

“Yes, they have accepted the offer. She’ll be Rory’s as soon as I can arranged pick up. She’s a really great horse and I think she’ll help him. Horses are amazing creatures.”

He smiled slightly, as much as he didn’t like her past with Robert, she was an asset. Rory would have a great instructor learning to ride and care for Sunny.

“Thanks, I’m really out of my depth with this. His psychologist thought it would be helpful.”

“It’s not a problem.” She hesitated for a moment before she spoke again. “I didn’t want to mention it, but I thought you should know. I saw Robert a few days back, he was all over another man in a café. It was in Harrogate, they seemed more than mates. That’s not all, Rory was there.”

Aaron stared at the woman that was once his husband’s fiancée. Robert had been having an affair with her while Robert’s own brother was married to her. Then he got engaged to her, followed by him cheating on her. Robert had talked to him a lot about it. He said that he had thought he was in love with Katie, but still felt like he was missing something. Robert told him the only person, man or woman he had been with that he didn’t feel like he was missing something was Aaron. Aaron had to admit, that made him a little overwhelmed sometimes. Of course, he had doubts because of Robert’s history. But there was one thing he knew for a fact; Robert would never do such things in front of Rory.

Aaron knew no one was perfect and Robert may stray, it was the risk when he gave his heart to him. But Robert hadn’t given him any reason to distrust him, not in all their time together. That wasn’t to say that the doubts weren’t there but he knew there were no clandestine meetings with other people. Robert was a very affectionate person, he knew that. Because of his own past, Aaron was the opposite, he hated people touching him or getting in his personal space. It took years to get the trust he had in Robert, and he wouldn’t allow a spiteful ex to ruin that.

“Robert’s is a tactile person; it doesn’t mean he’s cheating. Thanks for your concern.” He turned towards the counter. “Cancel that order Bob.” He got him and Violet out of there before he said something his mum would be sore at him about.

* * *

_Tiffany giggled as he pushed her up against the outer wall. He needed to get his keys out so he could unlock the door but right now he was a bit busy with his hands. He had met the gorgeous woman just a few hours ago. He hoped his lodger was out, Aaron was irritating and had angered more than one of his dates. Sometimes having the younger man there was fun but others it was downright problematic. Aaron didn’t like change and he hated people. It took Robert a few weeks to suss out that Aaron really wasn’t a people person. If he wasn’t being obnoxious, he didn’t talk. If fact, Aaron rarely talked at all, Robert didn’t mind. Aaron didn’t need to be chatty for him to be understood._

_“Are we gonna stand out here all night?” Tiffany panted._

_He pulled himself away from the alluring woman. She was beautiful with long legs, blonde hair and pouty lips. All he wanted was those long legs wrapped around him. Before he could pull out his flat key the door opened. Aaron was standing there, glaring at them._

_“You could wake the dead,” Aaron said before turning around and walking back into the flat._

_Robert grabbed Tiffany’s hand and lead her into the flat. Aaron was on the sofa, glaring at them._

_“Come on,” Robert said to her._

_“Is he just going to sit there?” she asked, looking incredulous._

_“Probably,” he answered._

_“Can’t he go somewhere?”_

_Robert knew if he asked Aaron to take off for a while, he would either get an earful or the silent treatment. Neither from Aaron was very fun. It was times like this that he regretted asking the younger man to stay with him._

_“Don’t bother,” Aaron said, standing up and leaving the flat quickly as possible._

_“He was creepy,” she said going back to rubbing her hands up his chest._

_“You don’t even know him; so why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself,” he said defensively. He led her into his bedroom before she could talk more._

_The next morning, he was starting to worry, he had already shown Tina or Tilly or Tiffany…something, the door. She was already a bit clingy after a few hours and he hoped she got the drift and didn’t come back. Aaron hadn’t come back and he started to worry._

_It wasn’t like Aaron to stay out all night. It wasn’t like he had a lot of mates to stay with, Robert couldn’t think of any to tell the truth. Aaron was a bit of a prat when he wanted but he wasn’t as bad as people thought. Robert was sure that was just Aaron’s defense mechanism._

_It was just after noon when the key sounded from the door. Robert waited until Aaron walked in and could have been knocked over with what he saw. A tall dark-skinned man was walking a very sick looking Aaron in._

_“What’s going on?” he said loudly._

_The man with Aaron looked up, still propping Aaron up as they walked in. “Hiya, Mate. Sorry about this, he couldn’t tell me where he lived last night.”_

_“What do you mean couldn’t?” Robert looked at Aaron better, at first, he thought he had been sick but he was bruised all over._

_“Well, that’s a long story,” the man said, helping Aaron to sit down. Aaron didn’t stop at sitting, he laid out straight on the sofa, just staring into space._

_“I’ve got time.” Aaron was really starting to freak him out._

_“Right before closing last night he shows up at Miki’s.”_

_“Wait, isn’t that a gay bar?” He had seen it on his way to work._

_“Yeah, well anyway, I made the mistake of hitting on him, so I guess I became responsible for him. Everything seemed great, but a few drinks but soon he was getting belligerent. They asked him to leave, he got physical and the bouncer had to step in. Kid was spoilin’ for a fight, and he got one. By the time I was able to pull him out of there, he seemed to have shut himself down. I took him back to my place and let him sleep it off. This morning I was able to get an address and here we are.”_

_“Aaron’s not gay,” he said, looking at the man oddly. Had this guy taken advantage of a confused teenager?_

_“What planet are you living on, mate? He’s gay, trust me. I think he’s having some issues with it though,” he said, frowning while looking at Aaron. Robert could tell now that Aaron wasn’t spaced out, he was pointedly ignoring both of them. Like if he did, none of this was happening._

_“Thanks for bringing him home,” Robert said to the stranger._

_“No problem, I just wanted to help.” He looked down at Aaron. “Take care, Aaron. I hope everything we talked about works out,” he said making it a bit cryptic sounding._

_Once the man was gone, Robert stood waiting for Aaron to say anything. Soon it was clear he wasn’t going to do that, so Robert broke the uncomfortable silence._

_“So, you’re gay?”_

_“I’ll move out,” Aaron said without looking at him._

_“Don’t.” That was all he said, his mind was running with too many thoughts._


	12. Secrets

She knew Aaron had problems with his dad because of the way they ended their relationship. But she also knew that deep down the reason Aaron didn’t talk about his father or to his father was because he loved him, and it hurt when he was kicked out. Now that they were grandparents, she knew Gordon deserved to know and met his grandchildren. Lisa had been ill again that morning, so she had Rory. After a little research she found Gordon living a few villages over.

She told Rory it was their little secret. The child looked leery but nodded and walked with her into the café they were meeting Gordon. Once Rory and Gordon had a relationship, she would tell Aaron, he would have to let his father back in his life because his son would need his grandfather.

She saw Gordon before he saw them, he looked great. At one time in her life he had been her saving grace. When her father was drunk and being violent, she would run to Gordon. He had always been there for her. Then when she found out she was pregnant she was worried he would disappear. That didn’t happen, he asked her to marry him and they got married as soon as she turned sixteen. After she left, she had hated the bond Aaron and Gordon had but now she was glad her son had him. She just wished they didn’t have a falling out.

Gordon looked up from his paper and smiled at her. “Still beautiful as ever,” he said, causing her to blush slightly. Even after all the years and bad times, she still remembered the boy that could make her heart skip.

“Still have the sliver tongue I see. How have you been?”

“Can’t complain, you know? Is this my grandson?” he asked looking at the young lad.

“This is Rory, he’s Aaron’s oldest, spending time with me today, ain’t ya?” Rory nodded but didn’t speak.

“Come and sit down, we’ll have some yummy treats, just don’t tell your dad,” Gordon said smiling at Rory.

They sat down, Rory sat very close to her, he seemed very uneasy. It was surprising to her because while Aaron and Robert warn her that it could happen, Rory seemed to like everyone. His favorites were Cain, Lisa, Belle and Zak. Rory’s very favorite person besides his fathers was Adam, probably because they both acted the same age.

“So, what do you like to do?” Gordon asked Rory.

Rory didn’t say anything. “Go on,” she said to her grandson.

“Drawing,” he said quietly, pushing his face into her coat.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve never been this shy around family.” Strangers yes but not once Aaron or Robert gave Rory the okay that they were good. Maybe that was it, because it was her and not his fathers. She decided that she would just let them gradually adjust to each other.

After a little more chatting between her and Gordon he brought up Aaron.

“When do you think Aaron would be ready to see me?”

“I don’t know. You kicking him out really hurt him, I know you only did it because he hit Sandra but he’s your son.”

He sighed. “My marriage was falling apart at that point and Aaron was always in trouble. I thought maybe if he weren’t around it would get back on track. That didn’t happen and she left not long after Aaron.”

“With your daughter?”

“Yeah, she’s fallen off the face of the earth. Haven’t been able to find her. That’s why reconnecting with Aaron is so important.”

“Maybe after you and Aaron make up, he’ll be able to help you. After all, Robert and Aaron are pretty well off now.”

“I won’t take handouts from my own son. I’ve always taken care of myself.”

She smiled, it was so like Gordon, he was such a good man. The breakup of their marriage hadn’t been on him. It was her; she had been young and unhappy. She wasn’t a good mother; she didn’t really have a mother to model herself after. Aaron had been much better with Gordon than if she took him with her. She had considered it, but she wasn’t stable enough to be dragging around an eight-year-old boy.

As they were getting ready to leave, she told Rory to give his granddad a hug.

“Dad said I don’t have to touch anyone I don’t want to,” he said quietly.

“That’s a silly rule, your father didn’t mean about your grandfather, I’m sure. Go ahead, give him a cuddle.”

Rory gave Gordon a very quick, weak hug. She decided that would have to do well enough for today. She made plans with Gordon to met up later, this time bringing either Violet or Ollie. Once the kids got to know their grandfather, she would tell Aaron. After all what’s the harm in their little secret?

* * *

Robert watched Rory closely. It had been a few days since his day with Chas and since that day he’d been extremely quiet. Lisa brought something up to him that had him worried. Apparently, Rory had asked Lisa if it’s okay to keep secrets because his dad told him that secrets weren’t something they kept in a family. Robert knew now why Aaron had been so adamant about that rule. After years of told to keep his abuse a secret, that if he told people would know he was bad. Secrets to Aaron were worse than most anything else.

“Rory, I’m going to check out the new farm, do you want to go with me?” he asked. It would be the first time he would go see the house Aaron had built and the land. It wasn’t a huge amount of land but enough for someone with farm animals, not that he planned that. He was never going to be a farmer, never. Farming wasn’t for Aaron either which was a good thing, they would be dreadful at it.

Rory nodded and smiled at him. Ever since they moved to Emmerdale his relationship with his oldest son had gotten better. It still wasn’t as close as Rory and Aaron’s, but it was much better than before.

It was Saturday and Aaron had taken Ollie and Violet to his mum’s for tea. Rory didn’t want to go, he almost seemed panicked about it. Aaron was going to call it off, but Robert told him just to leave Rory with him, they would spend time together.

The house was nice, not big or showy. It was very plain, not really something he saw him or Aaron in. The brick was nice but lacked any kind of individuality. As they walked the house, it was just very ordinary, nothing original.

“What do you think?” he asked Rory.

“Too boring.”

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Maybe we can find a very boring person to live here.”

Rory giggled and they left the house, heading back to Home Farm.

When they were almost there, Rory spoke up. “Tata?”

“Yes?”

“Secrets are bad, right?” Robert could hear the quiver in Rory’s voice.

“Some secrets are bad, some aren’t. Like buying someone a present and not telling them until you give it, that’s a good one. But any secret even if you think it’s a good one, if it makes you feel bad, you should tell either me or your dad.”

“Oh.”

“Do you have a secret you want to tell?”

He looked in his rearview mirror and saw Rory worrying his lower lip. “Family is good right?”

Robert felt like he missed something but answered anyway. “Yes, our family is good.” He knew with Aaron’s past family can be bad but there wasn’t family in the village he didn’t trust with the kids. Strangely enough, that included Cain.

“Then no, I don’t have a bad secret.”

Robert still had a lot of questions about that, but he didn’t want to set Rory back. He would mention it to Aaron, maybe he would have better luck than he did.

Too bad after arriving home he was called away on business. Rory let himself be taken over to the pub and he went to pack. He was trying to expand his business and this trip would take a few weeks or more. As he drove to the airport, he tried to remember something, but he had totally forgotten.


	13. What Man?

Robert had been gone a week and Aaron was ready to be done of it. The expansion of Robert’s business was important, but Aaron felt like him and the kids were falling second to it. Why couldn’t this be done in a few days? It made no sense to him. So now for a week he had been a single father and didn’t like it one bit. Rory refused to eat anything he cooked, and Ollie threw it on the floor. All Rory would eat was Coco Shreddies and even that was a fight. Ollie ate yogurt which wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t very filling either. Because of this he had been spending more time with Paddy and Rhona. They were able to work miracles and the boys would eat about anything they put down.

Then there was his mum who shocked him and offered to take Ollie for a day. It was amazing, he took Violet with him and they went about the village. He found out that Adam had been to prison for almost killing Cain. Cain told the police it was a mistake he was there, that Adam didn’t mean to harm him. Apparently, Moira had begged him to lie and he did. That surprised Aaron because he didn’t think his uncle had a tender or forgiving bone in his body. Adam didn’t want to be a farmer, he wanted to make his own way in life. Aaron was going to ask Robert to give him a job in his business, after all who knew farming supplies better. A former farmer. He could at least give it a try.

Rory’s doctor had said he seemed more detached in his last two visits. Rory would tell her things he did at Lisa’s or home but never how he felt. She told Aaron she thought something was bothering him because he hadn’t been his chatty self with her. Aaron was starting to agree, he talked to Lisa and she had the same issues with him. She even told him that when she took Rory out to the shops he would be glued to her side. It was unlike him because he had gotten to know almost everyone in the village in the time they’ve been there. There was one thing that really bothered him, when he mentioned to the kids that they would be eating at their Nan’s (Chas) last night, Rory’s stomach started acting up. In fact, he hadn’t been wanting to see her for about a week and a half, even before Robert left.

He just wished Robert was there to talk things over with. They talked some throughout the week, but he didn’t want to worry him. He thought it was best to talk face to face.

He was alone with the kids now; it was that relaxing time after teatime and before bed. They were in the kids’ playroom. He had Violet on her tummy, letting her bat at toys out of her reach she would be crawling soon. Ollie was sitting and playing with blocks. He had made such strides in his development. He could walk now and said some words, he hadn’t even been crawling when they got him. Robert was worried Violet would pass Ollie and it would hurt his self-esteem. Aaron thought maybe when Violet caught up to Ollie, she could help him. Maybe having someone learn the same things with him could help, he didn’t know.

Aaron was sitting on the sofa in the room, his laptop out making some notes in the files he kept on each kid. It helped to keep it all organized. Eighteen-year-old him would have battered him, he thought. Rory was quietly drawing at his little desk that Robert had made for him.

“What are you drawing?” he asked Rory.

Rory just shrugged his shoulders. Aaron didn’t like that, so he put his laptop aside and stood. Walking over to Rory, he got down on his knees to be level with him. “I know you are miss Tata, but he’ll be back soon.”

Big brown eyes looked up at him, Aaron could tell he was on the verge of crying. “What’s wrong?” he asked him, holding out his arms. Rory jumped in them and Aaron stood and carried him over to the sofa, setting the child on his lap.

“I did a bad thing, don’t hate me,” Rory cried, burying his face in Aaron’s shirt.

“I could never hate you. What bad thing did you do?”

“I kept a secret and you said no secrets. I wanted to tell Tata, but he went away.”

“Well, you’re right we don’t keep secrets. But I could never be mad at you. Why don’t you tell me now?”

The little boy shook his head furiously. “NO!” That had both little ones looking at them.

“Why not? You can tell us anything. Just tell me, I promise I won’t be mad.”

“Nan said it had to be a secret. The man said it was a secret too.”

Aaron froze, Rory was great with people’s names. He knew everyone he met and called them by their name or a nickname. Who was this strange man that told his son to keep a secret? He called Diane Gran and Chas Nan, so there was no doubt he meant her.

“What man?”

“The man we went to see. I didn’t like him; I didn’t want to give him a hug. Nan said I had to because he was my grandfather.”

“Grandpa!” Ollie shouted clapping his hands together.

Aaron felt sick to his stomach, it couldn’t be. The man had been out of his life for years, there was no way.

Slowly speaking as to not scare the kids, “Where did you see him?”

“Nan took me to a village I don’t know its name. We got in the car and drove a long time. I didn’t want to hug him. I told Nan that you said I didn’t have to hug anyone I didn’t want to, but Nan said you didn’t mean Grandpa.”

His son had been in the same room as his father, Jack was dead that only left Gordon. Not only that his mother had forced him to hug him, knowing Aaron’s rules and Rory’s issues. He was so mad he was seeing red. The only thing stopping him from going over there now was the crying boy on his lap.

“Listen to me, you have done nothing wrong. It was wrong of Nan to make you do something you didn’t want to do. I can promise you; you will never have to see that man again.”

“I wasn’t naughty?”

It was like a switch had been hit and he was a little boy again, alone in his room. His father having just left. He had been naughty and gotten what he deserved. He had still been in so much pain, he thought he was going to die. He thought he wanted his mum before that night, but it was nothing compared to after. He dreamed she would come and get him, take him away…save him. She never did, it was years later that she even wanted to see him again. She had already been gone four years; she never came to save him only to make herself feel better.

He loved his mum he did, she tried he knew it. Maybe if he hadn’t run away after only a few months living with her he would feel different. But he can’t turn back the clock nor would he want to, he had Robert and the kids because he left.

Aaron shook those spiraling thoughts away and looked at Rory. “No, you weren’t naughty. You were a good lad. My good lad.” He hugged him tightly, hoping to stave off his oncoming thoughts. He knew that Gordon hadn’t done anything to Rory but that didn’t stop that he was near him. Gordon wasn’t to be near his children. Now he wondered where his mum had taken Ollie. If he were to bet, it was to see Gordon. There was no way he could do this alone. He couldn’t tell Robert over his mobile. That meant waiting until Robert came back before bringing this up to his mum. His plan now would keep all the kids with him, not even going to Lisa’s or nursery until Robert was home. If he saw his mum now, not even Satan himself could calm him down.


	14. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this has taken so long. When I first wrote this chapter it went way too dark, I took a break and tried again. I think it's much better now. Thanks for waiting.

Something was going on, he knew it. Aaron wasn’t saying anything but asking him when he was coming back. Lisa had called and told him that Aaron had given her the next few weeks off. When he asked Aaron about it, he just said that he wanted to spend more time with the children. What worried him the most he knew that he wasn’t getting any help. He had shut him and the kids up in Home Farm and locked everyone out.

Before he had been going over to the local vet Paddy’s with the kids. But now no one saw him outside of the house. When he talked to Vic, she said that even Chas wasn’t allowed to come inside the home. The closest was David who delivered groceries to the house, but he never made it passed the front door. David had told Alicia that Aaron didn’t look well, which of course made it to the whole village.

Because of all that, Robert was speeding up his trip. He was on his last walk through before he headed back home. He had just bought out two smaller businesses which meant now he would have places as far north as Aberdeen and as south as Brighton. He would have gone home days ago but a part of him was worried what he would find. Aaron had this way about internalizing his pain, it usually took dynamite to break through his walls when they were up. All the while he would be killing himself slowly. Aaron hadn’t cut in ages, but it was always there, the doctors told him that. It would always be an outlet for him if he couldn’t handle. They had found many other ways Aaron could handle things but sometimes he still worried.

Just as he was about to go in the second to last meeting of the day, his mobile rang. The ID said it was Aaron, he thought about answering but then people started coming in. He decided he would call him after and tell him about coming home early.

* * *

Rory waited for his tata to answer but he never did. Dad was sleeping too long, and Violet and Ollie were hungry. Nothing he did woke his dad up. He tried shaking him, tickling him even hitting him. Nothing worked and he was really scared now. There were no more numbers on his dad’s mobile. There used to be a lot, but his dad made them go away, just like he made everyone else go away. It all happened because he told his dad about Nan and the man. He knew he was doing wrong by telling. He wanted his dad back like he used to be.

Yesterday morning he was sick, didn’t want to call the doctors though. Rory didn’t understand that, when you’re sick you need a doctor. Rory felt his dad’s head when he wouldn’t wake up, it was really hot. That was bad, hot heads meant really sick. His dad even tripped and fell last night bumping his head. It looked bad to Rory, but Dad said it was fine.

“Dad, please wake up,” he begged as he shook him again.

The doorbell rang that meant someone was here. Maybe they could wake his dad up. Ignoring the babies crying in their beds, he ran downstairs and to the front door. He wasn’t supposed to open the door, but he had to get help.

As the door opened, he got scared. It was the man from the café his nan had taken him. He was smiling but Rory didn’t like it, it felt not real. As much as he didn’t want to let this man in, his dad needed help.

“Dad won’t wake up,” he said quietly.

“Lead the way,” the man said.

Going upstairs they heard the babies cry and the man asked if they were alright. “They’re hungry,” Rory told him.

“How long has your dad been sleeping?”

“Since last night, his head is hot, that means he’s sick.”

“I see.”

Rory walked through his dads’ door and let the man see him. The man walked over to his dad and shook him.

“Aaron, wake up,” he said. After a moment he shook him again. “AARON LIVESY WAKE UP THIS MOMENT!” the man shouted, slapping his dad.

“Don’t hit him,” Rory cried. “He hit his head last night, don’t hit him again.”

“Hit his head?”

“Yeah, he wasn’t feeling well and trip and hit it. Said he was alright though.”

“Where?”

“In the kitchen.”

“No, where on his head?”

“Oh. Right there,” he said pointing the side of his dad’s head.

The man pulled out his mobile and called someone. He started talking about his dad and saying things Rory couldn’t follow. It wasn’t until he said where they lived that he knew someone was coming to help his dad. He just wished his tata was there.

People came a little while later and they put his dad on a rolling bed. The man was now holding Violet and Rory didn’t like that. His dad said they would never have to see him again. Now he was in their home, holding his baby sister. This was wrong. Just after the people came his Nan arrived, she looked sick too.

“What’s going on?” she asked the man.

“I came to tell Aaron he was being a childish brat to you but when I got here the babies were crying and he was unresponsive in bed.”

“Oh god, do they know what’s wrong?”

Rory watched the man shift a little but not so much to be noticeable to others. “No, I don’t know. If I were to guess some kind of drug.”

Drugs were bad, Rory knew that. His dad didn’t take drugs, his mum had, it made her sick. Now his dad was sick, but he knew it wasn’t drugs, he was a good dad.

“My dad doesn’t take drugs,” he said loudly.

His nan looked down at him and smiled sadly at him. She didn’t say anything to him but went back to talking to the man, ignoring him. After his dad left with the people and his nan left with them it was just them with the man.

The man cleaned Ollie and Violet up and asked Rory where their food was. He showed him because he wanted his brother and sister to eat. He still didn’t trust the man; his dad had been very upset to find out he had met him.

“I guess I’ll take you home with me until your dad gets sorted out,” the man said.

“That’s alright, we’ll take them.”

Rory saw Uncle Zak and Aunt Lisa; he ran to her wrapping his arms round her. She would make everything okay; she wouldn’t let the bad man take them.

“They’re my grandchildren,” he said, he sounded angry.

“I was there when you dumped your son’s belongings on our floor. If I thought for one moment this is what Aaron would want, I would let you take them. But I haven’t heard your name spoken from that lad’s mouth since that day,” Aunt Lisa said, sounding just as angry.

“Ay, hand over the baby,” Uncle Zak said.

The man seemed to know that Uncle Zak was not to be messed with. He handed Violet over to him and left without saying anything. Rory was so relieved; he didn’t know why but his dad didn’t want that man near them. His dad was always right so he must be bad.

* * *

Robert was almost finished with the meeting when his phone went off. He looked around apologetically and looked at who was ringing. It was Zak. Zak Dingle never rang his mobile, it was always Lisa. Something was wrong, he knew it. Had known it but was in denial.

“One moment,” he said to the group around him before going into the hallway. He answered. “Zak? What’s going on?”

“You need to get back here now.”

“What’s going on?” he asked again, his heart in his chest.

“Aaron’s been taken to hospital, Lis’ and me got the kids. Don’t worry about them, just go straight to Hotten.”

He disconnected and ran back in the meeting, telling them he had a family emergency and to call his CFO if they had any questions. He had to get to Aaron and quick. So many questions went through his head. What had happened? Had he hurt himself? Had to tried to end his life again? No, he knew that was a no, he wouldn’t do that to the kids. He was so damaged from Chas abandoning him and leaving him with that sicko Gordon. He needed to get to him before his mind came up with even worse thoughts.

* * *

“Morning Sunshine.”

Aaron knew that voice, he didn’t want to wake up and look at Cain’s smirking face, so he continued to pretend to sleep.

“I know you’re awake.”

Giving up, Aaron opened his eyes. The bright lights hurt his eyes. He knew he was in hospital but not way. The last thing he remembered was not feeling well. He was sure it was because of his mind. After finding out about Gordon and his mum, he had shut the world out. He knew he was slipping into some paranoia trap, but it all seemed reasonable when he broke down why he did it. But then Ollie got sick and Violet, thankfully Rory didn’t. Get got so bad he thought he would have to take them in to be seen. But then Violet’s fever broke then Ollie’s. After driving Robert crazy, the first few months with the kids he found out not to run to the doctor every time one sneezed.

But sadly, he caught whatever they had, and it was throwing him for a loop. He didn’t have the luxury of someone taking care of him, no matter how much he wanted it. He was angry at his mum but also didn’t want anyone else sick. In a spot of delirium, he remembered deleted everyone’s number from his mobile.

“What are you doing here?” he asked his uncle.

“Your mum was but once the doctor saw her, he put her in her own room. Looks like you and your mum have the flu,” Cain said.

“The kids were sick a few days ago, I thought it was just a cold, but they did have a fever.” He felt extremely guilty now, he would always bring them in from now on. Let Robert think he was being overprotective.

“Lisa’s got them; she had the doctor look them over. They’re fine, but it could have been worse them not being treated by the doctor.” Shame filled him.

“Why am I here? I’m I that sick?”

“No, you donut, you fell and banged your head into stone. You gave yourself a concussion. Doctor reckons you’ll be alright though. Gave the kids a scare though.”

“I need to see them.”

“I told you Lisa’s got them. They’ll probably release you soon.”

Something occurred to Aaron. “Listen Cain, you have to do something for me.” Cain looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “I’ve never asked anything of you. Please. Just don’t let Gordon near my kids, I don’t want him in the same room with them.”

“The way I hear it is Gordon was the one that got you help.”

Gordon being in his house send a shiver down his spin. “I don’t care, he can’t be around the kids.”

“Why?”

Aaron didn’t know if it was the exhaustion he felt or the need to protect the kids, but he did something unheard of for teenage him. He told the truth. “He’s a bad person, I can’t go any more into it than that, but he should be locked up for life. He hurts children…bad. Don’t let him near my kids or anyone else’s.”

Anger was visible in his uncle’s eyes. “Right. We’ll be talking more about this later,” he said before leaving.


	15. What's Next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So very sorry for the delay. Things have been crazy here, then when they settled I had a little bit of writer's block with this next chapter. I hope you like it.

Robert was shocked when he saw the inside of Home Farm. Aaron really had lost the plot, there were things pushed up against doors. Books strewn around, even the knives were in odd places. Robert hired cleaners to come in and clean everything and put it right. There was no way he was bringing Aaron back to the house when it looked like a disaster. He wasn’t sure why Aaron had gone off the deep end but would find out.

Aaron was being released, and he planned to have a long talk with his husband. Lisa and Zak agreed to keep the kids for a few days. They would have Sam and Belle’s help, so it wasn’t a huge worry. He knew when he married Aaron, his husband had several mental health issues. That didn’t stop him from loving him, but it did make him know that he had to figure out what was causing this breakdown.

Robert wondered if it had something to do with Aaron finally telling him about his attack years ago and his childhood trauma.

When he had gotten to hospital earlier to see Aaron, he was shocked at how bad he looked. After Aaron fell asleep, he left to check out the house. He had no idea how bad Aaron’s paranoia had gotten while he was gone.

“Hello, pet,” Diane greeted him.

Robert had stopped by the Woolpack before heading back to hospital. He wanted to see what all was going on while he was gone.

“Just on my way back to Aaron,” he said, sitting down for the first time it felt like since he got news of Aaron’s hospitalization.

“It’s just awful. We were all so worried. I told Doug, it just wasn’t healthy for Aaron to shut himself and the kids up in that place.”

“He needs to be put away,” a voice said. It was one Robert didn’t recognize.

“Excuse me?” he asked, looking at the man who dared to talk about his husband like that.

“He could have killed his children. He’s not stable. He needs to get the help he needs, maybe inpatient.”

“And who the hell are you?”

“His father, Gordon Livesy.”

Robert had never felt so much murderous rage in his life. He fought the urge to lunge at the man. He knew it wasn’t something Aaron wanted everyone to know about. At least not yet.

“Well, my husband and my family are none of your business.”

“Robert, you can’t say that. This is Aaron’s father,” Diane admonished him.

“I can say what I like,” he said before turning and leaving the Woolpack. He had one more place to visit before he headed back for Aaron.

The walk to Wishing Well Cottage was short and soon he was knocking on the door, hoping to see his children. Lisa answered the door.

“Robert, I’m so glad you’re back.”

Rory must have heard his name because he came running at Robert and wrapped his arms around Robert’s legs. Robert could count on one hand how many times his son had hugged him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Rory cried as he held him tight.

“What could you possibly be sorry for?” he asked, looking at Lisa who also looked surprised.

“I told dad about the man and he got sick because of me.”

There were too many questions running through Robert’s head with Rory’s declaration.

“What man?”

“My grandfather,” he said quietly. Robert heard Zak make an undignified grunt.

“Nothing that happened was your fault.” He bend down when Rory let go of him. “Now listen to me. None of this was on you. Sometimes your dad gets sick. It’s not anyone’s fault,” he lied, he knew it was someone’s fault but that wasn’t meant for little ears. “I’m going to get your dad right now. I want him to get all better before I bring you home. Do you think you can be a big boy and help Zak and Lisa take care of the babies?”

Robert’s heart broke at the wobble of Rory’s lip before he nodded. “I can, Tata. I’ll be the best big brother.”

“You already are.”

He gave Violet and Ollie a kiss and headed off for his car that was still parked outside the Woolpack. He needed to get Aaron and get him back home.

* * *

Aaron looked up when the door to his room opened. Robert walked in, looking as strong and unshakeable as always. Robert had been his touchstone since he was a stupid teenager. Before they started together, before they took vows. Before it all, Robert was the man who helped him when no one wanted to know him.

“You’re awake, that’s good. I just saw your doctor outside; you’ll be out of here soon.”

“I know, she told me before you got back. Robert?”

“Yeah?” Robert asked. Aaron was watching him, he was moving around like he was unsure what to do, a very unRobert-like thing.

“I don’t want to go back to Home Farm, at least not yet.”

“Do you want to get a hotel here?”

“No, I want to get to Whiteley’s farm. Nobody knows about it and I just want to be somewhere that people can’t find me.”

“I saw Gordon in the village.”

“The kids,” Aaron said, his heart jumped.

“Still with Zak and Lisa, they won’t let them out of their sight.”

“I think I may have said something to Cain, but I can’t be sure. I know I can’t protect the kids while I’m all over the place. I need to get my head on straight, I need time away from everything but close enough to get to them if needed.”

“Alright, I’ll ring Zak and tell him that the kids go nowhere without him or Lisa.”

“Tell him not to let them go with my mum.”

“Are you sure?”

“She let that man around my children then told them to keep it a secret from me. I can’t trust her. Until I know what I’m doing next, she can’t be with them at all.”

“Alright, but Zak and Lisa will have questions.”

“I don’t care what you tell them as long as it’s not the truth, not yet. You’ll do fine Robert; you lie with the best of them.”

“What did I do?”

“Nothing, I just missed you and taking it out on you seemed like the best option.”

“Alright, that I can understand. Let’s get you ready to get out of here.”

* * *

The house that Aaron had built had its perks. Like no one banging on their door wanting to be let in. It was so quiet that Robert was starting to think he was losing his mind. He wasn’t a homebody. He liked to be out, be it working or socializing. Aaron was the opposite; he would be comfortable staying at home for the rest of his life. He really did have an aversion to people.

“Do you want to have a lie down?” Robert asked a while after they arrived.

“No, that’s all I’ve been doing for days, it feels like. We need to talk but I think it would be better if we went for a walk. Maybe check out the land.”

“Alright.” Aaron was really freaking him out. He was being noticeably quiet and wooden. Aaron wasn’t like that with him; sure, he wasn’t the chattiest person in the world, but he didn’t shut down.

They walked in silence for a while. Just when Robert thought that Aaron wouldn’t speak, he started.

“My mum has been taking the kids to see Gordon. Not only that she and that man told my children to keep it a secret. Told Rory that his feelings didn’t matter. She made him hug Gordon when he didn’t want to do it. Just the thought of him being around them makes me sick. He fools everyone around him, all except one.” Before Robert could question that, Aaron continued.

“Just after the first time, he had friends come over. It was a bunch of them drinking and having a good time. There was a woman, it was before he met Sandra. I think she was trying to be nice to me because she wanted an in with him. Anyway, she was telling me about her son. She noticed a bruise on my wrist. It was when I tried to fight him off, he grabbed my wrist and twisted it so hard I thought he broke it. She asked about it. I told her it was a secret. I didn’t know at the time why she was instantly upset. She asked me if my dad hurt me or touched me touched me anywhere on my body that felt wrong. I was so scared of him though, I told her no and ran back to my room.

“Later when everyone was gone, I heard her yelling at him. She was saying that I displayed signs of abuse. She asked for my mum’s name and where she could find her from him. That whole night I thought when I woke up Mum would be there in the morning to get me. She wasn’t and the woman never came back. I don’t know what happened to her.”

Everything about what Aaron just told him set off so many red flags. Aaron had been close to being helped when he was still a little boy. What had happened to this woman? She clearly wasn’t buying Gordon’s lies. If she believed Aaron was abused, why just disappear?

“That’s a lot to unpack there. First, we have to do whatever we can to keep Gordon away from the kids and you. I can only see one way to do that.”

“You want me to go to the police.”

“I think it’s the only way. Gordon needs to pay for his crimes. You were an innocent little boy and the one person you were supposed to trust above all else broke that in the most horrific way possible.”

“And have everyone knowing? I can’t take that, Rob, you know it.”

“Then at least tell your mum. If you don’t, she’ll push and push for Gordon to have a relationship with the kids. If that happens, I can’t guarantee my silence. I love you so much, but the kids are the ones who can’t protect themselves now. We need to do that for them.”

Robert watched Aaron, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Aaron was close to the edge and Robert wanted to make sure nothing happened to push him over but that being said he had to think about the children.

“I’ll go to the police. But I can’t tell my family. Can you do it?”

“Are you sure?”

“They’ll find out sooner or later.”

“What about your mum?”

“I’ll tell her.”


	16. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not writing Chas as bad just different. Because unlike canon, she didn't get the relationship with Aaron in this. I wanted Aaron to have a little better relationship for her and others than when he was a teen, so I made the visits but she still is very in the dark about everything Aaron.

Things never work out as planned. He had planned to tell his mum about Gordon and have Robert tell his family. Then he was going to make a statement with the police. But as soon as he was rested enough to get the kids back, all hell had broken loose.

Charity was nearly killed by her husband but not from his lack of trying. Declan ended up killing Robbie Lawson by accident. Then the Dingles kicked her out of the family, which bothered Aaron. He didn’t know that could happen, sure before he ran away they threatened it because of his attitude but he never really thought it could happen.

Then if things couldn’t get worse, she was kidnapped by Jai and locked away. Sam was told where she was by Jai but because of how Charity had hurt him, he didn’t help her after initially going to let her out. She probably would still be there, dead, if Cain hadn’t made Sam tell him where she was. Because the family was so much of a mess right now, Aaron knew it wasn’t the time to add to that.

“Have you heard from your mum today?” Robert asked. They were getting the kids ready to take out.

“Yeah, she’s dealing with the whole fallout from the Charity and Sam thing. But I have good news.”

“What’s that?”

“Gordon is gone for the next few months.”

“What? How’d that happen?”

“Something with his work, I made sure it was true.”

“That’s great.”

“I’m just glad he can’t get near the kids and I don’t have to tell my mum.”

“You don’t have to tell her yet, but you will. Right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant. Anyway, Sunny is being transported today, you know that, right?”

Robert laughed. “Like Rory has talked about anything else. Only one of us has to be there, I’ll go.”

“You hate Katie, and she doesn’t think much of you either. I’ll handle it. But just to let you know, there is a family dinner tonight.”

Robert glared at him. “And how long have you known about this?”

“Few days. I’m sorry I was a little forced into it. It’s alright, yeah?”

“Yeah, I guess. Not how I really wanted to spend my night, putting up with Dingles all night.”

“You’ll live.”

* * *

Robert was tired and he didn’t want to go to the pub. Chas had done the pub all up for the family do. It was still very tense because of the whole Charity thing. Robert had a feeling that was the reason for the party, drink and calm everyone down.

Chas had gotten the kids new outfits that she wanted them to wear to the party. He didn’t see an issue with dressing them in the outfits. She had also gotten something for Aaron and to keep the peace, he was wearing it under his hoodie. Chas had made some comments on Aaron’s clothes, all black and always wearing a hoodie.

“Hiya, Zak,” Aaron said in greeting as they entered the pub.

“Oh, it’s good you are here. I was getting lonely talking to myself.”

Robert could feel how tense the place was, this was not how he wanted to spend his night.

“You’re here,” Chas said greeting Aaron, giving him a hug that Aaron looked uncomfortable with.

“We were invited,” Aaron said.

“Why are you wearing this thing, show off the top I got you.”

Chas started to unzip Aaron’s hoodie. Aaron never went anywhere without a hoodie or long-sleeves. Robert knew why but Aaron’s family didn’t. Robert could see Aaron panicking.

“Leave it, Chas. You don’t see us telling you what to wear.”

“I will not leave it. He’s always so covered you wouldn’t think he had skin.” She went back to grab the zipper. Aaron grabbed her hand and Robert could see the emotions on his face.

“What’s the matter with you? I told you to leave it,” Robert said pulling Aaron away from Chas.

He was lucky because the kids were taken through to the back room with the other kids as soon as they got there. Belle watching them until it was time to eat.

“What’s the matter with you two?” Chas asked.

It was like a switch was hit and Aaron lost all of his tension, that worried Robert. “Nothing.” Aaron unzipped his hoodie and pulled it off.

He was wearing a blue polo that was not Aaron at all. But what you couldn’t not notice if you were close enough was the faded pink scars littering his arms. It was his stomach that had the worst of the scaring, but his arms were covered also. Robert would have liked that all it took was seeing the private doctor and Aaron would be healed but that didn’t happen.

He found other ways to cope but when it all got too much Aaron always went back to self-harm. It’s why they almost didn’t get the boys. There was so many psychological tests and reviews they had to go through to get the adoption. In the end, it was decided that Aaron was no longer a danger to himself or anyone else. Robert had been sure if they hadn’t had the money, they wouldn’t have got through any of the process as soon as they saw Aaron’s treatment history.

Chas noticed the scars right away. “What happened to you? Were you in an accident?” She grabbed his left arm looking at it intently, then did the same with the right. “These aren’t from an accident,” she said shakily. There were too many scars in patterns to be from an accident.

“No, I very much did it on purpose.”

“What? Why would someone do that?”

Aaron looked at Robert but for the first time in a long time, Robert couldn’t read him. He didn’t know what Aaron was about to say.

“Do you want a story for each individual one?” Aaron asked.

“I don’t understand,” Chas cried.

“It’s called self-harm. Well, it’s called a lot of things but boils down to self-harm,” Robert told them.

“Why would anyone do that to themselves?” Zak asked.

“A lot of reasons; good, bad or indifferent it doesn’t matter,” Robert said.

“Let him speak for himself,” Chas said.

“No.”

“What?”

“I said no. You don’t get to ask questions that its none of your business knowing the answers. If Aaron wants to tell you someday that will be his choice.”

“How is this any of your business?”

“I’ve been caring for him since he was seventeen.”

“You call that taking care of him?” Chas said, pointing at Aaron’s arms. Aaron quickly pulled his hoodie back on, losing the nerve he had worked up to begin with.

“Don’t blame Robert, it’s not his fault. Just leave it, like you should have before.”

“I will not leave it. I find out my son cut himself to shreds, you don’t leave something like that.”

“It’s the only way I could cope,” Aaron said. Robert knew he needed to get Aaron out of there now.

“Cope. Cope with what?” Cain asked, looking suspicious.

“Just how perfect my life has been,” Aaron said turning to look at Robert.

“I think it’s time for us to leave,” Robert told them. “I’ll get the kids.”

“You just got here, you can’t leave,” Chas said, looking angst.

“I just can’t be here now.”

“Well, leave the kids, they want to play with their cousins,” Chas begged.

“No.”

“They’re with family, it’s not like anything could happen to them,” she said.

“Really? That’s not what I’ve learned,” Aaron said, now with anger.

“What have we ever done to you?” Marlon asked.

“I don’t know. How about abandonment and isolation?”

“You left not the other way around,” Chas defended herself.

“Not when I was eight. That was you, then you didn’t come back to see me for over a year.”

“I tried. I tried a few weeks after I left. Your dad sent me away.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Believe what you like but I did. I brought you a bear because Mr. Bear got destroyed in the washer just before I left.”

* * *

_Aaron was waiting by the window with his suitcase. His mum was coming to get him, and he would get to spend the whole weekend with her. It was the first time since she left._

_“Aaron, I told you, she’s not coming.”_

_“She is, she promised.”_

_He had decided to ask his mum if he could live with her. He was scared his dad would punish him again. He still hurt, he didn’t want it to happen again. All he wanted was for his mum to hold him and tell him everything would be alright._

_“She doesn’t care, Aaron. I’m the only one that loves you. That’s why I have to be so hard on you. She’s busy with her own life now and you’re not part of that. She never wanted you to begin with and now she doesn’t have to deal with you. That’s on me and that’s why I won’t raise a little delinquent.”_

_“She promised,” he said meekly._

_“What don’t you understand, she doesn’t care about you. She knows, she knows how you’re a little liar. She knows how naughty you are and doesn’t want you.”_

_Aaron dropped his suitcase and ran upstairs to the toilet. His bedroom was no longer a place of safety and comfort that it had been. He liked it here because he could lock the door. After a while he thought he heard his mum’s voice. He opened the door and ran down the stairs._

_“I told you she would come,” he said looking around for his mum, she wasn’t there._

_“She dropped this off,” his father said, throwing down a stuffed bear._

_“Didn’t she want to see me?”_

_“No.”_

_Aaron took the bear and looked at it. He wondered why she brought it. He had cried after Mr. Bear fell apart, his dad said he was too big for a bear after that. Why didn’t she want to see him? Maybe she knew how bad he was. How dirty. That had to be it. That had to be why she didn’t want to see him. He sat the bear back down and went outside. He didn’t want his dad to see his cry. He told him that only babies cry, and good lads take their punishment like men. If that was the truth Aaron didn’t ever want to be a man._

Aaron remembered that day, it was the day he decided he couldn’t count on his mum anymore. Sure, he kept hoping she would come and take him away but by the next year when she did show back up, all he felt was anger.

Before they split up, he had always been closer to his dad. He loved him but it didn’t mean he didn’t love his mum. His dad had been the one to read to him, tuck him in at night and play games with him. His mum tried but she got tired of him and all his questions, so he learned to ask his dad instead. Then after the split, all he wanted was her back.

“I need to get out of here,” Aaron said, his heart was pounding and his skin itched.

“Lisa, can you watch the kids? We’ll get them in the morning,” Robert asked.

“Sure thing, luv.”

“Thanks, make sure they stay with you and Zak, no one else,” Robert said looking at Chas before grabbing Aaron’s hand and pulling him out of there.

* * *

“Robert?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to take the kids to the coast.”

“It’s the low season. Why go there now?”

“Because you’re going to stay and tell everyone. When I get back, I’ll make my statement. I can’t be here when they find out, I want to be away safe and sound with the kids. After you tell them, I want you to join us. I know it’s asking a lot of you.”

“I would do so much for you, you already know that. But didn’t you want to be the one to tell your mum?”

“After last night, I can’t. I know it’s the coward’s way out, but I just can’t.”

“You’re not a coward. You’re the strongest person I know.” 

“I love you, you know that, right?”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice. What am I allowed to say?”

“Just the Gordon stuff, nothing else is any of their business. Ivan is my business and whatever you do don’t tell them about the money. I love them but there are more Dingles than stars in the sky, and only a handful wouldn’t cut your throat for that kind of cash. Family or no family.”

“Agreed.”


	17. The Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning mentions child sexual abuse

“Where’s Aaron?”

Robert looked up at Katie from his pint. “What’s it to you?”

“I have a question about Sunny.”

“What is it?”

“A question for Aaron.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s the one that paid me.”

“With my money.”

“Oh, so you’re one of those. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Straight or gay, you’re a chauvinist pig.”

“My sexuality isn’t any of your business…at least anymore. I know that Andy is a bit lacking in that department but there’s no need to be jealous.”

“As if. I can’t believe I touched you.”

“You did more than just touch.” Robert smiled wider when she rolled her eyes. “Aaron took the kids on holiday. I’m going to join them after I take care of a few things. Tell me what you need to about the horse.”

“I have a farrier coming to trim her hooves and shoe her. Aaron told me to have anything she needs billed to Home Farm. I’m just making sure that’s right before the farrier arrives.”

“If that’s what Aaron said he meant it. Anything Sunny needs get it for her, she needs to be well taken care of so Rory can learn to care for her right.”

She looked at him oddly. “You really are a dad, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I really am.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where you cared about others.”

“I’ve always cared about others, just because it’s not the same way as Andy, doesn’t mean it’s any less true.”

“You know Andy has been working at Butlers, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I was talking to Aaron the other day. He said something about selling Wylie’s Farm to us.”

Robert glowered. He thought he talked Aaron out of that. Aaron knew about his issues with Katie and Andy, but his thoughts were what was good for Katie and Andy were good for Sarah and Jack. Robert could see his point, but he really hated to give Andy any kind of help. Their father had always picked Andy over him, every time Robert needed him, he was let down by the man. Max’s death was the nail in the coffin to any chance to salvage his relationship with his father.

“What Aaron does is his business,” he said, trying to keep the anger off his face.

“He said that Home Farm is yours, so what do you think?”

Robert smiled. Aaron wasn’t around to have him hold his tongue. “I think if Andy were smart, he would get rid of the village bike.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“Yes, everything from me is rich. Ta.”

* * *

This was what he hadn’t wanted to do. But for Aaron he would, he knew Aaron wasn’t in the state of mind to do this. Before he left with the kids, he even asked Aaron if he was sure he wanted to tell the others. Aaron was resolute, he wanted them to know. When he asked why he wanted them to know. Aaron just said it had to happen. 

The day he finally told him about what Gordon and years later Ivan did to him, he told him something else. He said when Ivan attacked him, he felt that’s what he deserved because he let his guard down. He had been reckless and paid the price for it. Robert disagreed. Before he and Aaron got together, he had more one-night stands than he could count. People are supposed to be stupid and have fun when they’re young without worrying about being victimized.

Robert had asked Aaron where he had met Ivan. He was trying to find out a way to find the bastard. Turns out, Aaron had literally run into him outside of a pub. They went in and chatted a bit before deciding to go back to the flat. Aaron had refused to give him the name of the pub or any information about Ivan.

Robert’s mobile rang, he answered it hoping it was everyone canceling for tonight.

“Hello?”

“It feels like I have heard your voice in ages.”

“Who is this?”

“It’s me…Chris. I think I should be upset that you don’t recognize my voice.”

How did this psycho get his number? This is not what he needed before the family meeting he put together. “How did you get this number?”

Chris laughed. “I have my ways. Listen, I’m not trying to cause you any trouble. I thought you were over me until I got a little visit from your hired thug.” Nigel had told him that he had taken care of Chris, this wasn’t what he needed today.

“I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to see you. I want you out of my life.”

“We both know that you don’t love Aaron like a husband should. You love him like you would a trusty dog. He’s loyal but that’s pretty boring. You know what you do when your dog is sick? You put it down.”

“Was that a threat?” He felt his anger rising.

“No, as I heard it, he’ll take care of himself before long. And when he does, I’ll be here waiting, just remember I don’t want any brats in my home.” Then Chris disconnected and Robert was left steaming. Now he was ready to talk to Aaron’s family, and he was spoiling for a row.

* * *

“What’s this all about?” Zak asked as they settled into Home Farm.

He thought about doing it at Wishing Well Cottage but decided on his home. He was in charge here, not a guest in someone else’s home and could kick them out if they got mouthy.

“We have to wait for Charity. Aaron wanted the whole family to hear this straight from me. So, no one gets misinformation.”

“I’m here,” Charity said, looking a bit suspicious.

“Where were you?”

“Oh, nowhere. What’s this all about?”

Robert decided to drop it for now.

“What is said here doesn’t leave here. This information is just for family.”

“You said as much when you invited us. Why are they here, they’re not family?” Cain asked, pointing at Rhona and Paddy.

“Rhona is Leo’s mother and Paddy is Leo’s other father, they’re good as family,” Marlon defended.

“Rhona and Paddy are fine, as is Moira and Adam but no one outside this room right now. Understood?” Robert asked.

He got some weak nods from the group but took what he could get. He was happy that Belle wasn’t there, she was too young to hear such things, still innocent.

“Alright, as I was saying, Aaron has asked me to tell you all this. It’s why he took the kids to the on holiday.” How should he start to tell them about Aaron’s abuse?

“Is this about his cutting?” Lisa asked.

“Yes and no. It’s about why he self-harms.”

“There is no reason for him to do that,” Chas spoke up. Robert had to bite back the retort on his tongue, he wanted to fight, and anyone would do.

“Well, get on with it,” Chas said impatiently.

“When you left, Aaron was inconsolable. He started to act out, crying all the time, not listening to his father. It seems that after Gordon lost his job, he took his anger out on Aaron.”

“He beat the lad?” Zak asked, his face reddening, which was hard to see under all his facial hair.

“Gordon would never hit Aaron,” Chas defended her ex-husband.

“He didn’t hit him; he did something so vile that Aaron couldn’t tell you to your faces.”

“What could be so bad that he couldn’t tell us?” Marlon asked.

“I can think of a few things,” Charity said.

“Well, I can’t. What are you trying to say, Robert?” Chas asked.

Robert decided to tell them emotionless, almost robotic. He had a feeling they weren’t going to believe him and was glad Aaron was not here.

“When Aaron was eight, Gordon lost his job. Aaron was acting up again, but nothing more than a sad, angry little boy missing his mother would do. That night Gordon decided to teach Aaron a lesson. He came into his room and got into his bed.”

“Oh god,” Charity gasped.

“Wait. What?” Cain asked, Robert could see his brain was trying to work out what was just said.

“You’re saying he messed with Aaron?” Zak asked, trying to clarify what was said.

“No, I’m saying Aaron was raped by Gordon.” Then Robert went into every sick detail that Aaron had shared with him. He saw the moment one by one as they started to believe him. The first was Charity, though it seemed she was already there before he started to explain. Next was Lisa, she had to sit down. Then Marlon, Adam, Paddy, Moira, Rhona, Zak until it was just Cain and Chas left.

“I don’t understand, Aaron adored Gordon. How can he say these things now?” Chas asked.

“Because they are true. Just because Gordon did these horrific things to Aaron didn’t mean Aaron didn’t love him. That’s what makes this kind of abuse so reprehensible. His abuser was also his protector, his nurturer, Gordon was everything to Aaron after you left, Chas.”

“No, I don’t believe it,” she said shaking her head.

“I do,” Charity said.

“You barely know him,” Chas said. “I know Gordon, he would never hurt Aaron like that.”

“So, you’re saying you don’t believe Aaron?” Charity asked.

“It’s not coming from Aaron, is it? It’s coming from Robert. Robert is a known liar.”

“Aaron left so no one would look at him until after the shock wore off. He wanted me to tell you because when he gets back, he’s going to make a statement to the police.”

“Why wait all this time?” Cain asked.

“He probably would have kept it to the grave until Chas started bringing our children around Gordon. Not only that, she knew Rory’s issues with physical contact and forced him to hug Gordon. It set Rory back. It’s why Aaron cut contact with everyone and shut them out of here. I will say this, if you don’t believe Aaron that’s up to you. I wanted Aaron to live closer to everyone because I thought that would help with the kids. But if I think this is hurting him or the kids we will move away. I have enough money that I could make it so no one could find us again.”

“I believe him,” Cain said quietly.

“What?” Chas asked looking odd.

“He wouldn’t just go around saying it if it wasn’t true. He has no reason to lie, Chas,” Zak said.

“You weren’t to know,” Cain said, he went to pull her to him, but she broke away and shoved Cain. He wasn’t expecting it, so he fell against a chair.

“Well, I know now.”

Before anyone could really understand what was going on she ran out the door. Once they got outside, they saw her driving away quickly.

“She stole my keys,” Cain said, patting down his jacket.

“Don’t be worried about that, be worried you just told a Dingle mother that her bairn had been hurt by the hands of his father. We better find her before she kills him. Not that he doesn’t deserve it, but this should be a matter for the courts,” Moira said.

“She’ll kill him,” Cain agreed.

“She believed you from the start, she was waiting for an opportunity to get someone’s keys. She’s always been a good pickpocket,” Charity said.

“Does anyone have any idea where Gordon is?” Zak asked.

Charity broke into insane laughing. “Chas does.”

“This isn’t helping, we have to go now,” Robert said.

Aaron would never forgive himself if his mother went to prison for killing his father. Just when he thought this day couldn’t get any worse.


	18. Storm's Coming

Robert reached out to Nigel who had a way to find things quick. Within minutes he had an address for Gordon. Cain and Zak were with him, not that he had a choice. They were sure they could talk Chas down. He knew Gordon was gone and his only hope wasn’t lying. Aaron said he looked into it, but Aaron could be fooled easily.

“There were better ways to do this announcement than making it like some sick murder mystery game,” Cain complained.

Robert wanted to dump him on the side of the road, but he needed all the help he could get to stop Chas. He had planned everything so well, even planned for anger, but he didn’t think he’d have a rogue mother on his hands.

His mind went back to Chris ringing out of the blue earlier. What was he playing at? One stupid mistake years ago threatened to ruin his life. How could Chris be so delusional? Aaron hadn’t believed anything in the letter Chris wrote and sent to him. Robert was glad they moved not too long after that. He didn’t want to risk Chris just showing up. Aaron could lose his temper quite easily.

After what felt like forever, they found Gordon’s house and just like they suspected, Cain’s car was parked in front of it. They could see Chas was in the driver’s seat, sobbing and beating the steering wheel. “Gordon’s out of town, I guess she got here and remembered. We better get her before she trashes his place,” Robert said.

“Take Zak home. I’ll calm her,” Cain said.

“Sorry, mate, that sounds like a bad idea,” Robert told him.

“Just go, I know my sister. Go to Aaron and the kids. We’ll sort this out.”

“You’re going to let the law take care of it, right?”

“We’ll let Aaron take care of this the way he needs,” Cain said but didn’t look like he liked that idea.

* * *

Aaron was waiting for Robert to arrive; the kids were already down for the night. Robert told him he would tell him how it went to his face. So like his husband, wanting to make sure everything was alright with him. That attitude had started a lot of rows between the two. Aaron wasn’t sure if it was his issues or because of how young he had been when he got with Robert. Even before they started dating, Robert was very protective over him. At the time its angered Aaron, it still did sometimes but after years of no one really caring, it was nice.

There was a storm rolling in and he hoped Robert got there before it picked up. Headlights lit up the front room where he was sitting and watching tele. He got up and looked, seeing Robert park his rental. Aaron felt like he could breath again. Being here was relaxing and nice but without Robert it felt wrong.

Aaron opened to door and helped Robert in with his luggage.

“I was hoping you’d come before it started getting bad.”

“You’re the one that wanted to go to the coast in October.”

Aaron smiled. “Yeah, yeah, blame me. So, tell me what happened.”

“Can I at least put my stuff down, see my kids, eat something?”

“Fine, I’ll warm you up something. They’re sleeping though so please don’t wake them. First room to the left at the top of the stairs is theirs.”

Aaron went about warming up some takeaway he had fed the kids earlier. Robert was the cook in the family, Aaron had never been good at it. And since the kids started to backslide, they refused to eat anything he made. Except Violet who still ate puréed food that mostly got on the walls than in her belly.

He listened as Robert opened and shut doors then heard the shower turn on. He didn’t blame him; it was pouring when he pulled in. After a little while Robert came back downstairs in clean, dry clothes. Aaron smiled; he really had missed him.

“Here, it’s not much but at least I didn’t make it.”

Robert laughed and sat down at the table to eat, Aaron turned the tele off and sat at the table with him.

“How was your trip?” he asked.

“Exhausting. I think we should just stay here and never go back.”

Aaron’s heart dropped. “Was it that bad?”

“It wasn’t good. But the biggest thing, they all believed me…you. Your mum believes you. She wants to kill Gordon but don’t worry, Cain is taking care of her.”

“Cain?”

“I know, I thought the same, but he seems to be calm.”

“That’s when you have to worry.”

“It’s done; when we get back you can make a statement. And the best news they all know so he can’t get near the kids.”

Aaron thought on that, he was glad that his family knew the truth and knew to look out of the kids. He just wished the truth wasn’t about him. It was private, something that he wanted to stay that way. But looking at his children he knew to make sure they were completely safe.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Aaron said, not sure how Robert would handle the news.

“What?” Robert looked up from his plate where he had been mostly pushing his food around and not eating.

“Chris rang earlier.”

“You too?”

“He was busy today, I guess.”

“What did he say?”

“Same as he always does when he gets the notion to reach out. You’re his, I’m trash, I’m ruining your life and need to top myself.” Aaron saw Robert ball up a fist. He hadn’t wanted to tell him, but he didn’t want to lie either. “You?”

“Same basically. Did you tell him about your cutting? That was a new piece of information I didn’t know he had.”

“Why would I tell your ex anything about myself?”

Robert groaned. “Don’t call him that, one night can hardly make him an ex. And it was a mistake.”

Before Aaron and Robert were monogamous, there was Chris…sort’ve. Aaron hated Chris but not because of what happened between Robert and Chris…well not only. It was because Chris was certifiable.

After Ivan, Aaron didn’t want to be touched but he wanted to get back with Robert. It’s why he opened the relationship up, so Robert wouldn’t ask questions that he hadn’t been prepared to answer. Robert told him that he didn’t want to open the relationship. Robert was a little of the jealous kind. But after Aaron rejected his advances one day, he said he was going to take him up on it.

It would have been funny if it weren’t so insane. Chris worked with Robert so he knew he would be agreeable. Robert saved him the details but what he did tell him was he left before anything really could happen.

“Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“Did you have sex with Chris?”

Robert’s head shot up and he looked at him with horrified eyes, then just burst out laughing.

“God, no. I told you that already.”

“I don’t understand how he is so obsessed with you.”

“You’re pretty obsessed with me.”

“But if it were over, I’d let you go.” No, he wouldn’t but he wouldn’t hurt Robert, he just would stay in love with him.

“He’s a gold-digger, he wants the money. When it was just us in that tiny flat with furniture, we got at a car boot sale, he was fine with me leaving. I was angry with you and thought the best way to get back at you was to be with someone else. As soon as I walked into his place, I knew it was a mistake. I left and came back here. Now I know why you were so standoffish, but then I thought you just didn’t want to be with me anymore and it was your way of telling me. I’m glad I didn’t do anything with him. I can swear to you, since we got back together after our first row, I have never been with anyone else.”

“You said he’s a gold-digger, did he find out about the money?”

“No and yes, he doesn’t know it’s yours and doesn’t know where it came from. Just after we got married, he saw me driving the Porsche, then all the sudden I was his true love.”

Aaron knew about Chris’ stalking of Robert, he had to because Robert had to change his number several times and his assistant knows to never give his new ones out without Robert’s permission.

“I think I know how he found out about the cutting,” Aaron said.

“How?”

“I started to go to group in Leeds. You know after we moved back to Home Farm. It’s only twice a month but there was always a bloke staring at me, listening intently when I talked. I just thought he was awkward, but now I wonder if it’s him.”

“He’s crazy enough to follow us here. What did he look like?”

“Tall, blond hair, blue eyes, kind of posh looking. And now you say he’s a gold-digger. I think if this is Chris…what were you doing? Were you trying to sleep with yourself? That seems narcissistic even for you.”

Robert laughed. “Shut it. Yeah, that sounds like him. So, we have the how he got information on you but not how he got our numbers.”

“I gave my number out to a few of the others in the group. I thought I could help them.”

“And was he one of them?”

“Yes.”

“Great, and he probably could have tricked someone to give him mine.”

“We’ll have to keep an eye on that,” he said.

“I’m shattered,” Robert said, getting up and cleaning his dish.

“Let’s go to bed, you’ll love it. It’s the whole reason I rented this cottage.”

Aaron led him into the bedroom with the plush king bed and inviting scenic view.

Robert turned to him. “You know I love you right?”

Aaron smiled. “You may have mentioned it once or twice. I say we have about an hour before the storm wakes up the kids.”

“We better get busy then.” 


	19. Home Again

“I don’t want to move again,” Aaron said, flopping down on the bed. They had just returned to Home Farm from their trip and he was exhausted.

He watched Robert who was still unpacking their things. They had a wonderful fortnight at the coast. The kids were happy, Robert was happy, but Aaron was inwardly spiraling. He knew the symptoms; he knew he needed help but couldn’t ask. Robert thought that everything was good now. He thought telling would free Aaron of something, he guessed that was true to a point.

But now they all knew, they knew what Gordon had done to him. He himself had no idea until he was a teenager. The last time that his father successfully abused him in that way had happened before he knew what it was. It was just something that wasn’t talked about, it was something bad, but it happened because of him. His dad was good everyone said so, they said he had the patience of a saint to put up with Aaron. It was Aaron that was the wrong one and had deserved what happened. No matter how many doctors, medication or therapies he has, that never really goes away. The adult Aaron, the father and husband knows that what Gordon did to him wasn’t his fault. But eight-year-old Aaron, ten-year-old Aaron and twelve-year-old Aaron still believed it was and they were very much still a part of him. Sixteen-year-old Aaron was big enough to fight back but he too believes it was his fault. It was six years after he was raped that he knew there was a word for what happened to him, another three years before he had his first kiss.

When he met Robert, he had been scared of his attraction to him. Before Robert he thought he was sick to be attracted to men. He thought maybe it was because what his dad had done to him. But the longer he was with Robert the more he liked him. He was everything Aaron wasn’t. Funny, smart, charming, it was so easy to fall for him. Robert was not shy in bringing home women to bed. After Aaron had gone to Miki’s and the bloke who brought him home outed him, Robert started bringing women and men home.

Aaron had been so confused; he didn’t know what Robert was doing. Jealousy had overtaken him, but he kept quiet on his feelings. It wasn’t until Robert talked of seducing his boss’s daughter that Aaron couldn’t take anymore. When he kissed Robert, it had been spur of the moment, he hadn’t expected Robert to kiss him back. He definitely didn’t expect to lose his virginity that very night, but that’s what had happened. Robert was his first and only, the only one who counted. Even if sometimes his mind gets a little sick and won’t let the memories stop for days to weeks at a time. They are always there but sometimes he can mute them for a while.

It wasn’t an instant love or anything. Robert tried telling him it was a mistake and shouldn’t have happened. That was until he next time Robert wanted sex on demand, not that he demanded. In fact, he was very caring and gentle in the beginning. It was after that he wasn’t so nice. Not in an abusive way just in a prick way. It was like the more he pushed Aaron away the more Aaron wanted him, he didn’t even understand it. But that was a long time ago and now they were in love and happy. If only his past wasn’t coming up like a terrible nightmare.

“Don’t mind me, I’ll just put everything away then,” Robert said, Aaron could tell he was getting annoyed.

Aaron laughed. “I was up all night with your daughter who is teething.”

“I see, when she’s being a pain, she’s my daughter.”

“Right,” Aaron said smiling, trying to keep his dark thoughts away.

Robert smiled but lost it soon after, Aaron got a bad feeling. “I was thinking we take the kids over to Lisa and Zak’s then we head over to Hotten to make the statement, unless you want to see if they could send someone out.”

“No, I don’t want them in our home. Maybe we should wait a few days.”

“I thought you wanted to get this over with?” Robert asked.

Aaron watched Robert start to pace, it usually wasn’t something he did. Robert was much more confrontational than Aaron ever was. It was funny because Aaron was always considered the thug but never Robert. While Aaron might hit you, Robert would destroy your life, he was the one people should be wary of.

“I do but there is no going back if I do this.”

“There’s no going back already, Aaron. Your family knows; if you don’t go to the police the Dingles will kill him.”

Aaron knew that, even if the family didn’t give a damn about him when he was young, they didn’t like to be shown they were neglect in their duty. He had a very weird relationship with his family, he had remembered wanting them to like him, but he was just so angry everything he said made them hate him.

“I wish you wouldn’t push me. You have no idea how hard this is,” Aaron said, standing up. He intended to go check on the kids. Violet was sleeping but Rory and Ollie were playing in the playroom.

Robert looked at him and for a minute, Aaron worried what he would say.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’ll go.”

“Let me get the kids ready.”

“No, I have to do this alone.” He grabbed his keys and left, feeling numb.

* * *

Robert knew he pushed too much. He should have let Aaron go at his own speed. He just didn’t want Gordon to show his face back in the village. Didn’t want Aaron to have to go through that.

“Daddy!” Rory came running down the stairs.

“What do you need?” he asked his son.

“Where’s daddy?”

“He had some errands to run. You’ve got me though.”

“Umm…I’ll just wait for him to come back.”

“He’ll probably be out most of the day. What do you need?”

“We were going to play video games, he promised.”

“I’m pretty good at video games…some of them.”

Rory looked at him unconvinced. “You sure? Maybe you have to go to work?”

That hurt, he knew he had been doing a lot of work lately and his kids were closer to Aaron, but he wasn’t always at work. Although he was shut up in his office for hours at a time.

“I don’t have any work, you set the game up and I’ll go get Ollie and Violet.”

Violet was awake from her nap when he entered her room, Ollie was playing with a child’s laptop toy that Aaron had gotten him. It was to help Ollie with sentence structure, but Ollie just used beat on and giggle. Back downstairs he gave Ollie and Violet controllers to a system they weren’t using. Ollie was happy he got to join in, but Violet got bored and started to crawl around the room.

They played for a while and Robert lost track of time. He didn’t realize how late it had gotten until Rory said he was hungry. Looking at the time on the system, he saw that Aaron had been gone for almost six hours. He had tended to the kids whenever they need but hadn’t been watching the time.

Grabbing his mobile he texted Aaron but didn’t get a reply. He hoped that he was alright. If he were alone, he would go and try to find him but since he had three children to look after he would have to trust Aaron, something that was hard for him to do. He trusted Aaron with the children, he trusted Aaron with their money, he even trusted Aaron with his insane of an idea to sell to Katie and Andy. The only person he didn’t trust Aaron with was Aaron. Aaron was so forgiving and caring to everyone else but himself. He really did blame himself for his abuse, it turned Robert’s stomach to think of that. Aaron was only two years older than Rory when his abuse started but Aaron doesn’t see it as a little boy being hurt in the worst way possible, he still sees it as something he caused as a scared, sad little boy of eight.

Hours went by and he had the kids in bed, he was starting to get really worried about Aaron. This was not like his husband; he was always reachable on his mobile. He had texted Cain to see if he had seen Aaron but again, he had gotten no reply.

Finally, Cain texted him back at just before ten that night that he hadn’t seen Aaron all day. Cain had asked Chas and the last time she had spoke to Aaron was just after he left the police station. He had told her that he had made his statement and was pretty worn out and needed some time. Did that mean time from Robert too? If he wasn’t with his family the only place Robert could think of was Whiteley’s. He couldn’t go look for him tonight, he would have to wait for the morning after he dropped Rory off with Lisa, Ollie at nursery and Violet’s sitter arrived.

The next morning Aaron still wasn’t home, still hadn’t answered his mobile. Robert had left so many voicemails and texts for Aaron but heard nothing back.

After the kids were dropped off at their respective places, he drove to Whiteley’s. As soon as he saw Aaron’s car, he was able to calm down. That was until he saw the front door to the house wide open. Robert stopped his car and ran to the house shouting Aaron’s name. It was no use, he searched the whole house, Aaron wasn’t there. Just as he was about to check Aaron’s car, he noticed a stain on the floor by the door. It was red, it was blood. It was time to call in the police. Aaron might hurt himself, but he wouldn’t do this. Sadly, there were too many people who had it out for Aaron. There was Chris, who came to mind right away with his obsession with Robert. Then there was Gordon, maybe he found out about Aaron going to the police. And last but not least, Aaron’s other rapist and would-be extortionist.

Where was Aaron? Was he alright? Robert needed to find him.

* * *

Aaron woke up, feeling himself moving. He couldn’t move and everything was dark. It took longer than it should to realize he was tied up in the boot of a car, going to god knows where. He thought he should be scared, and he was but not as scared as he was angry. This was on him and he was going fight back this time. He just wished he knew who had abducted him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not going to be as dark as you are thinking. I promise. Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger.


	20. Missing Day One

_“What do you think?” Robert asked, turning around showing Aaron his new suit jacket._

_“I think you look like a prat.”_

_Robert rolled his eyes, he was getting real tired of Aaron’s bad attitude. Robert had a date with Chrissie White and was going to land the boss’s daughter. Ever since he mentioned this to Aaron he had been irritating._

_“What’s your problem?” Robert asked._

_“Nothing. If you think all you’re good for is to hang off the arm of some rich bird, that’s up to you.”_

_“I’ll do what I have to get what I want.”_

_“And what is it you want?”_

_“World domination but I’ll take power, riches and success in a pinch.”_

_“So, your goal is to be a gold-digger?”_

_Robert glared at him. “I do want I have to, like I said. Maybe if you tried dating instead nothing in your pathetic little life, you would know what I mean.”_

_Robert could see that was a direct hit to Aaron as he hunched in on himself. He left before he could start to feel guilty, Aaron had deserved it. Just because he didn’t have a life didn’t mean Robert should feel guilty for having one._

_Robert was almost to the restaurant when Chrissie rang to cancel. Her son was sick, and she would have to reschedule. Just his luck, now he would have to go back home looking like a pillock. He thought about going to pick up a random but just didn’t feel like entertaining anyone tonight._

_The whole flat was dark when he got back. He had to turn on the light or he would trip over something, Aaron was always leaving stuff out. Something moved and he felt his heart jump._

_“Jesus, Aaron, what the hell were you doing sitting in the dark like that?”_

_“Soz. Did you forget something?”_

_“Her kid was sick. Why don’t we go out,” Robert said as a peace offering._

_“What?”_

_“Let’s go to a club.”_

_“A gay club?” Aaron asked._

_“It’s not really my thing.”_

_“But you bring men home.”_

_“Doesn’t mean I put my business out there.”_

_“What does that mean?”_

_“It means that my private life is just that. I don’t want people talking about it. And you’ve been to one club since moving here.”_

_Robert and Aaron were arguing one moment then the next Aaron had kissed Robert. It gave Robert pause, he had been attracted to Aaron, but he was so young and so inexperienced. But Robert was never one to turn down sex. He kissed Aaron back startling him, Aaron seemed to be shocked at his own spontaneity._

_He pushed Aaron back against the wall and devoured his mouth. Robert ignored the voice in his head that was saying Aaron was too young._

_“Wait,” Aaron said as Robert started to pull him to his room._

_“What? I thought this is what you wanted.”_

_“Isn’t this moving a bit fast?”_

_“I don’t need this,” Robert said, taking a step back. He knew Aaron was too inexperienced._

_“Stop, I’m sorry. I want this I do. Just can we go slow?”_

_“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you. Let’s just forget all about this.” Robert turned to walk away when Aaron grabbed his hand._

_“Stop, I do want to do this, it’s just new is all.”_

_Robert sighed. He knew he should just walk away because the young chav he picked up all those months ago had wormed his way in._

_“Just promise you’ll tell me when I can speed up,” he said before leading Aaron into his bedroom. He could afford to make one mistake._

* * *

Robert remembered that night he and Aaron first went passed platonic friendship. One mistake he made over and over again until Aaron finally let him go after Robert pushed him away. That was when he realized he didn’t want to be with anyone else. Too bad it still took a while to convince Aaron that, mostly because of the things he said and did to him before that moment.

He was tired of being interviewed by police and Dingles alike. At first the police didn’t think anything was wrong until he told them about the blood he found. Now they had taken evidence and talked to everyone they could. At first, they treated him like a suspect, but he had an alibi with his kids. All he wanted was to find Aaron.

Robert had told them all the suspects he knew; he had even told the police about Ivan, not that he even knew if that was his name. He knew Aaron didn’t want anyone to know but if he had somehow gotten him then they needed to know. He also told them about Chris and Gordon. Gordon was top on Robert’s list. It just was too coincidental that Aaron makes a statement against Gordon then he went missing.

He hoped the police didn’t end up having to tell the Dingles about Ivan because he didn’t want Aaron to be cross when he got back. He also didn’t want anyone to find out about Chris because he knew they would assume the worst of him, especially with Katie in everyone’s ear.

“There’s nothing you can do here. You might as well go home. We’ll reach out if we get any information,” the investigator in charge said.

“I can’t go back home and tell my kids their dad is missing.” He was lucky and Lisa and Zak rounded up the kids. He would have to make sure Aaron gave them a big bonus when he got back.

“Where is my son?”

Robert cringed. He was getting fed up with Chas’ yelling, Cain’s cold suspension and Marlon’s annoying comments. He didn’t even know why they were there. They had come after he rang police and Lisa so she could get the kids. He was bombarded with most of them after that.

“Why don’t you ask your ex-husband, Chas?” he asked coolly. It was his top guess who had Aaron.

Cain took an aggressive step towards him, but Robert didn’t back down. If they had done their job when Aaron was a kid, he wouldn’t be in so much pain now. Not only that he wouldn’t be missing.

“Don’t,” Chas said to her brother. She all but crumpled to the ground making Robert feel inch tall.

“We don’t need to be fighting amongst ourselves, finding Aaron is what matters right now.”

“Sugden’s right. This is useless, we have to find Aaron,” Cain said.

Robert wished he had Aaron’s mobile maybe something was on it, but the police took it as evidence. It was sitting in the seat of his car. What had happened to him? Please, don’t let him be hurt anymore.

* * *

When the vehicle slowed down Aaron prepared himself for whoever opened the boot. He wouldn’t breakdown, he would fight and get back to his family. The vehicle stopped and he held his breath. After a few moments, the boot opened.

It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the daylight shining down. But when it did, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

“You are taking a piss, right?” he asked incredulously.

“So, you’re saying not your best day.”

“I swear, you untie me now and I won’t kill you.”

“Is that how you talk to family?”

“ELI!”


	21. Missing Day One Pt 2

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?” Aaron asked Eli.

“That’s a lot of thanks I get for saving your life, kid.”

“Saving my life? You kidnapped me.”

“I didn’t think you’d come willingly.”

“Too right. Let me go.”

“If I untie you, are you going to try and run?”

“No.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Maybe because somehow you still have two brain cells left in that dull head of yours.”

“Still a mouthy little gobshite I see,” Eli said before closing the boot again.

Aaron screamed and yelled but to no avail. Soon they were moving again. He was going to kill Eli. Marlon would thank him; he knew he would. It was useless to keep yelling so he just laid there, trying to figure out how he got in this mess. He thought back to Robert when everything started to go south in the beginning.

* * *

_Aaron watched as Robert limped his way to the sofa and sat down heavily._

_“Are you alright?” he asked._

_“Do I look alright?”_

_“What happened?”_

_Robert had just come home looking like a wreck. His face was bloodied, and his clothes were dirty and torn, not to mention he was limping._

_“Her husband came home early.”_

_It hurt, hurt more than he thought it would after some months of living this life. When Robert first turned their relationship sexual, Aaron had hoped it meant that he cared for him like Aaron did him. He didn’t though, it just meant Aaron messed up again. But he knew he didn’t deserve someone good. This is what he deserved, it’s all he was good for. But there was a part of him that just didn’t want to hurt anymore._

_“I’m moving out.”_

_“What?” Robert looked at him with his eye that wasn’t swollen._

_“I’ve just decided. I can’t do this anymore nor do I want to. You’ve been telling me for months its just bit of fun, but this isn’t fun for me. It never has been. Being your backup, isn’t fun and I don’t want this anymore.”_

_“Where are you going to live? You can’t afford to move out.”_

_“I think, I’m going to go back to my mum.”_

_“You can’t stand your mum.”_

_“Somethings got to give, and I think that its me.”_

_“Don’t.”_

_Aaron just looked at Robert, expecting him to laugh in his face. But that didn’t happen. Robert looked hurt and that confused him. Robert never wanted him there in the first place, he just thought of him as an obligation because their families were intertwined._

_“Don’t what? Don’t leave? We both know you want me gone.”_

_“No, I don’t. Please, give me a chance.”_

_“A chance to do what?”_

_“Be together the way you want…the way you need.”_

_He should just get a bus ticket back to Emmerdale and be done with it, but Robert’s never said he’d change before. Never said that he wanted to be together proper before. That must mean he loved him too, right?_

* * *

It was good for a week before Robert reverted back to old habits. That’s when Aaron really did end it. He didn’t move back to Emmerdale though. Robert tried to hurt him after they broke up and brought a woman home to shove in Aaron’s face. That was when he added another mistake to his growing list, he met Ivan and invited him back to the flat.

Then he just started existing. The cutting started and after almost a month Robert caught him. The man went from snarky and conceited to Aaron’s biggest supporter after that. It wasn’t perfect but it was good, if he had been in another stage of his life, he might have fallen for Robert all over again. But he didn’t want Robert then, he just wanted to no feel so disgusting inside. Because if his father could hurt him like that, and Ivan could hurt him like that, it was only a matter of time before Robert realized he was trash just like everyone said.

But Robert begged, Robert never begged before. So, Aaron got back with him but to an open relationship. Robert thought him putting off intimacy was a side effect of the cutting when it really was just the thought of being touched made him want to burn all his skin off. He read once that fire purifying. He wanted to be pure so much it hurt, in his darkest times he thought it may not be a bad way to go. Dying and being purified at once.

Aaron shook off his dark thoughts and thought of his children. They needed him, he couldn’t sink down right now, he had to fight it.

After a while of Aaron’s bladder feeling like it was going to burst, the vehicle slowed down again, and the boot opened.

“Are you going to be nice now?”

“Just let me go,” he said quietly, he didn’t have any anger left. The trip he took himself down memory lane was a drain.

“I can’t do that, but we’ll be safe here. I’m gonna help you out here but don’t try to run. We’re out in the middle of nowhere.”

Aaron let Eli pull him out and escort him into a cabin that looked to have seen better days. He was right, there looked to be nothing close. He could scream until his voice stopped and no one would hear.

“I need the toilet,” he said as they entered the cabin.

“It’s right there,” Eli said pointing to a door.

“You need to untie my hands.”

“You’ll run; I can’t do that.”

“Unless you want to hold it for me, I need my hands.”

Aaron didn’t bother to argue, he just nodded and soon was released from the ties that bound his hands. He would kill Eli later.

“I’ll be out here waiting, we have loads to talk about,” Eli said as Aaron left him alone.

When Aaron came back out, Eli was sitting on a battered chair looking at his mobile.

“Can I use your mobile, I need to tell Robert I’m fine.”

“Can’t let you do that. There is some stuff you need to know.”

“What?”

“You have a price on your head.”

“I’m not following.”

“And you call me dull. Someone wants you dead and they are willing to pay to get it done.”

“Why would anyone want me dead? How did you hear this?”

Aaron sat in an equally tattered chair. He was trying to process why someone would want to kill him. He hadn’t done anything to anyone. Sure, when he was young, he was a right bully, but he was just so unhappy at home he wanted everyone else to be unhappy too.

“I was in Madrid on business.” Aaron looked at him not believing he had business in Madrid, at least not the legal kind. “It may not have been completely legal. Anyway, like I was saying, I ran into a bloke looking to hire someone to off his husband. He wants to end his marriage without his husband getting all their money.”

“Again, what does this have to do with me?”

“The bloke’s name was Robert Sugden, sound familiar?”

Aaron shook his head. There was no way Robert would try to have him killed. They had a family, they had children and a home. Not only that, Robert loved him. Sure, they had been through it a few times, but Robert had changed so had Aaron.

“You’re wrong. Robert wouldn’t do something like that. I’m not saying we’re happy all the time, but he would never hurt me.” Not anymore, he promised. “What did he look like?”

“Tall, blond, blue eyes and a smart mouth.”

“That could describe loads of people.”

“Are you sure enough to risk your life?”

“How do you know so much about my life?” Aaron asked. He hadn’t seen Eli since he was seventeen and ran away. He hadn’t even heard Eli’s name mentioned since he got back.

“The bloke had heard about me and told me about you, he heard I was from the area. He thought I could be bought to do his dirty work.”

“Did he know your full name?”

“Yeah, I said he was looking for me.”

Aaron could finally breath again. “You idiot, I don’t know who that was, but it wasn’t Robert. For one, he wouldn’t have me killed. But for another, he’s not stupid. He would never hire a Dingle to go after me no matter what country he was in.”

“You sure enough to bet your life on it?”

“Yes, but this still means someone is still trying to have me killed and my husband framed for it. Anything more than tall and blond?”

“Had a scar on his left forearm, he kept messing with his sleeves and I saw it.”

“I think I know who it was.”

“I guess you want me to take you back?”

“I have no proof except your word and sorry to say that’s not exactly reliable. Since he didn’t hire you, there could be anyone headed there to kill me.”

“What do you want?”

“As much as I hate to say it, I need to stay gone until we have the proof. But I can’t let people think I’ve been abducted by a pillock. I need to send my mum a text, I would Robert, but they may not believe him.”

“It’s a burner phone, so we can get another. You have any money?”

“None that I can use, might as well get a neon sign with my name on it over my head.”

Aaron grabbed Eli’s mobile and found Hotten police, he needed them to stop looking and didn’t want to get into trouble.

* * *

“The police have to know something,” Zak said.

They were all at the Woolpack. Belle was watching the kids in Chas’ room. The police had told them there wasn’t any evidence that Aaron was taken against his will. They were all so sure he was until an hour ago when they said they got new information that he left on his own. His keys, car and mobile were all left, that doesn’t sound like him choosing to leave. None of this was making sense to Robert.

Someone’s mobile dinged but Robert didn’t pay much attention until Chas screeched.

“It’s from Aaron.”

Robert jumped up and rushed to her like everyone else in the family.

“What did he say?” Lisa asked.

“I’m alright, mum. Ta,” she said glowering at the mobile.

“How do we know it’s from him?” Robert asked.

“He sent a photo.” She turned the phone around an there was Aaron mid eyeroll.

“This isn’t a selfie,” Robert said.

“What does that matter?”

“It means he’s not alone,” Robert told her.

“Looks like we didn’t have to worry about Robert running around on Aaron but the other way around,” Marlon said.

“If you think Aaron could go from telling the police about Gordon’s abuse to running off with a lover, you don’t know him at all. Aaron won’t be able to be touched for a while. He’s not on some lovers’ holiday. Wherever he is something is wrong. Give me the number.”

Chas read it off and Robert rang it on his mobile, but it wasn’t answered. He knew it wouldn’t be Aaron wasn’t stupid. Robert had to do something that terrified him. He had to trust that Aaron would be alright without him taking care of him. It was a hard habit to break but there was nothing he could do. Well, besides get his PI on the case and see if he could find him or the reason why Aaron ran. 


	22. Unexpected Visitor

“I want Dad,” Rory cried. Robert felt as useless as a chocolate teapot. The kids were unhappy, he didn’t know any of their schedules and he was worried about Aaron on top of that.

The doorbell rang, he sent up a prayer that it was someone to help him out of this mess. Who thought he could be a father of three children? Aaron didn’t seem to mind all the work it took. Robert thought because Aaron had Lisa, Ollie’s nursery and Carole, Violet’s nanny, that he was free to do what he wanted. Except it was only when everything was going tits up that Aaron used them more than six to eight hours a day. It was nearly impossible for Robert to get any work done. It wasn’t that he wanted to do business work, but he was trying to find Aaron, that wasn’t easy with three kids.

He hoped Aaron really was safe because Robert was losing his mind with worry.

Leaving the kids in the playroom he headed for the door. When he opened it, he was surprised.

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d visit. You’ve really moved up in the world.”

“Not to be rude, but again…why are you here?” Robert wasn’t about to let Ava Newsom in.

Ava was one of Lawrence White’s up and comers when Robert started working for him. Robert caught some pretty big mistakes Ava had made and tried to have her fix them. Ava scoffed and just went about her business. When the mistakes were found by Chrissie, Ava tried to let the blame fall on Robert. He was able to talk his way out of it, but they never did believe that it was Ava.

“I’m not here to cause problems. In fact, I’m trying to stop them. You remember Chris from accounting, right?”

Robert narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, I remember him. He’s been stalking me for the last two years.”

“Actually, it’s been longer than that.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Can I come in?”

He really didn’t want to let her in but if she had information on Chris it was more the better. So far Gordon was still gone, and the police couldn’t find him. Nigel had sent all his information to the police but now that Aaron wasn’t “missing” he didn’t think they would be looking into that. All they had was Robert saying that Ivan raped Aaron, until they heard it from him and a statement it was just hearsay.

“Okay, let me check on my kids first.” He led her into the front room and went to check on the kids. Rory and Ollie were watching a show about a cartoon mouse.

“I’ve got company, come get me if you need me,” he told them before picking up Violet and walking back downstairs.

Ava’s eyes widened when she saw Violet. “You really have a child? I didn’t know that.”

“We have three.”

“Adopted?”

“What business is it of yours?” He was so tired of people wanting to know how his children came to be.

“Sorry, she just doesn’t look a thing like you.”

Robert knew, they all knew no test needed. She had been born blonde but lately her hair started to darken. Chas made an offhand comment that Aaron’s hair had done that too. He’d been born blond but by three he had a head of dark hair. She also had Aaron’s eyes and his smile, which meant she scowled most of the time.

“What did you come here for?” he asked. His daughter was none of her concern.

“You’re not going to like this.”

He was losing patience. “Do you have any idea where my husband is? Is that what this is about?”

“No, I don’t but it may be related. I just want you to know, I didn’t know about any of this until recently. I’ve been back and forth if I should come forward but the new information I have, if I don’t come forward, I couldn’t live with myself.”

“I’m listening.”

“When you started at the company, Chris was instantly smitten. He would go on and on about the new bloke in sales. But word got around you were a little bit of a womanizer. Chris just assumed he just had another crush on a straight bloke. Well, Chris then sees you out with a kid that was barely legal. But he said you were very handsy with him. That gave him new hope until you shot him down the next day.”

Violet was nodding off to sleep in his arms and he wanted to put her down. “I’m not seeing how that is my problem?”

“He has a friend named Keith, I’ve met him a few times and thought he was creepy. Like I said I just found this out, like within the last few days. Chris found out you lived with the lad he saw you with. When he saw you were dating again, he thought that having your toyboy out of the way would be best and you would accept his advances. He stalked your flat a few nights and when he saw the kid leave, he rang Keith. Keith was supposed to seduce him and tape it, showing you that he wasn’t faithful.” Robert stood up jostling Violet to where she whimpered.

“I need to put her down, I’ll be right back.” He wasn’t stupid, he could see where this was going and didn’t want her to hear. It didn’t matter she wouldn’t understand, it was wrong for her to hear it. He put her down in her cot. His legs were shaky as he moved to the top of the stairs. He thought about checking on the boys but didn’t want them to see him like this. Ava was still where he left her in the front room when he got back. “Thanks for waiting. Go on,” he said sitting back down.

“Keith gave the video to Chris. When Chris saw what it was, he was horrified. He wanted Keith to seduce him, not rape him. Keith and Chris busted up their friendship over it and Chris backed off because he felt guilty. He told me he was glad nothing happened between you because he felt so bad about asking Keith to go after the boy. That’s where he should’ve ended. But after you left the company and started your own. Well, Chris saw that money and wanted it. That’s when he started stalking you again. But when you moved, he knew he had to do something else. He reached out to Keith and got the video and sent it to Lawrence. I don’t know why he sent it to him, but it got his point across, I guess. At first, he thought he could get the money he was trying to blackmail you for but that didn’t work because he hadn’t thought through the logistics, like you had no way to get in touch with him. All that is hideous, but I just found out that it’s a lot worse.” Robert couldn’t see how it could get worse.

“Wait. How did he know if I had that kind of money? Starting a business is costly.”

She looked ashamed. “I overheard to you talking to your partner right before you quit. I just was mad and thought it would be gossip. I swear, I had no idea he would go off the rails.”

“Go on.”

“When he was on holiday, he hired someone to kill your husband and children.”

“WHAT?” He was seeing red, he thought it was just a saying, but everything was now in a shade of red.

“Apparently, he asked a few people, first he just wanted your husband dead but then thought why not get rid of them all.”

“My children. He wants my children to die?”

“Yes. I’m sorry. He told me he found someone after a few tries. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.”

“This friend Keith, what’s his full name?”

“Keith Baylor.”

“Thank you. Will you tell police what you heard?”

“Yes. I can’t let children be hurt because I was too worried about my future to say anything.”

“It’s going to be a long day; you might as well get comfortable.”

He needed to have Zak and Lisa come and get the kids and take them somewhere safe. He thought Butler’s would be a good idea. It was Moira’s farm not Cain’s. Even if they came after them, the Dingles were pretty scary to be messed with.

* * *

_“I don’t want it,” Aaron said, pushing the yucky food away._

_“You will eat it and you will like it,” his dad said pushing the food back._

_He had been angry since he got home from work. Aaron didn’t like that his dad was angry, but he wasn’t going to it that gross food. His dad promised fish and chips this morning before Aaron left for school._

_“No.”_

_“I’m tired of that mouth of yours. I got fired because of you. GO TO BED! I don’t want to see your face down here for the rest of the night.”_

_Aaron was scared, his dad never shouted at him. He put on his pajamas and brushed his teeth, then he got into bed. He hoped his dad wouldn’t be cross with him in the morning. He didn’t like when he was angry. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep._

_A loud crashing woke him up, he didn’t know what it was, and it scared him. He pulled the blanket over his head and tried go back to sleep._

_Soon he was woken again by the door cricking open. He smiled to himself, his dad had come to tuck him in and say goodnight. His dad wasn’t angry with him anymore and everything was good again. He should have known; his dad was the best dad._

* * *

Aaron hated when his memories came on their own. He shivered and didn’t know if it was from the cold or the memory.

“Why are we doing this?” Aaron asked, trying to live in the present.

“You wanted to know what he was doing. Now we know, that,” Eli said pointing at Chris who seemed to be double jointed as he did moves that made Aaron’s knees hurt in sympathy.

“I didn’t mean I wanted to watch him have sex.”

“Yeah, how do you think he can get his leg that high?”

“I don’t want to know. This feels like a huge evasion of privacy.”

“On the bloke who’s trying to have you murdered.”

“What possibly could we learn from this?” Aaron asked as a branch lightly hit him in the face.

Eli looked back through the window and turned his headed sideways. “That I could’ve made a fortune if I was able to bend that way.”

“They’re going to see us, back away,” Aaron told Eli, grabbing him and pulling him away.

“We’re not going to learn anything just hiding out in the bushes.”

“I think I need Robert,” Aaron said shaking his head.

“Why? I thought you were wanted to get something on this bloke?”

“We’re not getting anything here. Robert schemes and manipulates to get what he wants; we need that to prove what you’ve said.”

“This fella of yours doesn’t sound like a very moral.”

Aaron smiled. “He’s not.”


	23. Fagin

When he was young, he had nightmares of the plane crash that hit the village, killing so many. Dead bodies moving animatedly, ghosts flying around. In his nightmare he was locked a room with them, screaming for his dad but he never came. He had thought that was as bad as nightmares could get. He was wrong, very wrong.

After a fitful night of sleep, he gave up. The kids were on their way to Finland with Lisa, Zak and Belle. After a long discussion late into the evening it was decide until Chris was behind bars and they had the name of the hitman, the kids would stay out of the country. It was too big of a risk; the kids safety came before everything.

The police now had everything that Robert had, names, places and the video. With Ava’s statement they were more willing to look at it as a crime. It was like they moved one step forward and two steps back with the police though. Now all he needed was Aaron but the number he had never connected.

As he stared at the ceiling in his bedroom, he thought about the first time he had known he loved Aaron. It was way before even Aaron knew, before he admitted it to himself.

_“You need to stay in bed,” Aaron said, glaring at him._

_“I can’t, I have to work.”_

_“You’re sick, Rob. You can’t go to work looking like death.”_

_“I don’t have time to be sick. Lawrence is looking to promote someone and that someone is going to be me. I’m not going to be stuck in entry level sales for the rest of my life.”_

_“You go to work looking the way you do they just send you home. Might as well call in sick and go back to bed. I’ll even make you soup.”_

_“You can’t cook.”_

_“No but I can warm up. Go to bed Robert.”_

_“Only if you join me.”_

_Aaron rolled his eyes. “You can barely move but I see your libido is intact._

_“I just don’t want to be alone.” He hadn’t wanted to tell Aaron, but he’d gotten used to sleeping with him, just sleeping. Now that Aaron had ended things, he was lonely and couldn’t sleep._

_“It’s not a good idea.”_

_“But I’m sick.”_

_“Oh, now you’re sick. Fine, get in bed and don’t forget to call out sick. I’ll be in soon.”_

Robert remembered falling a little in love with Aaron that night. Then he had to ruin it by bringing that woman home the next night, causing Aaron to met Ivan/Keith. Finding out that it wasn’t a by chance meeting made Robert feel even worse than before.

A mobile rang, causing him to jump a bit. He blindly reached for the mobile on the bedside table.

“What?” he asked without looking at who it was.

“Aaron?”

“No, this is his husband Robert. Who is this?”

The call dropped and Robert looked at the mobile. It was Aaron’s, the police had returned it after Aaron reached out to them. He looked at who had rung, and it just said _Beryl._ Who was Beryl? He thought about ringing the person back but thought four in the morning was not a good time, no matter if she had just tried to ring Aaron.

* * *

Aaron unlocked the front door, ushering Eli in. He was glad the hidden key was still where he hid it. The house was quiet, and he hoped he did not wake up the kids with the bumbling fool beside him.

“Posh.”

“Robert’s idea of the good life.” Aaron still did not like the place, but he would do anything for Robert. In his opinion the place was too big for a family with small children. He had to put in baby cams in most of the room. He trusted Robert more than he trusted himself but until the children were older, he could check on them from his mobile. Robert never used the app because he would rather just walk in and see them.

Aaron had not seen his car in the drive, but Robert probably parked it in the garage, something Aaron never did. Something caught Aaron’s attention.

“What was that?” he asked Eli.

“What?”

“What did you just pocket?”

“I save your life and you accuse me of nicking your overpriced bits and bobs.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Then you won’t mind turning out your pocket.”

Eli laughed and pulled out a Faberge egg that Robert bought at auction.

“Keep it, it’s hideous,” Aaron said, he hated it. Robert hated it too he just liked that it was expensive.

“WHO IS DOWN THERE!”

The loud voice startled them, Aaron turned around and faced the stairs watching Robert standing at the top of the stairs. He usually just wore pants to bed, but he was fully dressed. Aaron felt bad, Robert must have been beside himself with worry.

“Soz,” Aaron said, looking up at his husband.

“AARON!” Robert ran down the stairs and before he knew it Aaron was wrapped up in his arms. He always liked being in Robert’s arms, they felt safe, even when it was a lie. “Where have you been?” Robert pushed him away and was now glaring at him.

“The idiot bashed me in the head and threw me in his boot. But he did have some interesting information.”

“Can’t be more interesting than mine. Chris hired someone to kill you and the kids.”

“Wait, what? No, Eli said it was just me.”

“Who’s Eli?” Robert asked looking between Eli and Aaron.

“Eli is Marlon’s brother,” Aaron said, it was the easiest explanation. Robert was a bit of the jealous type which was funny with how much he ran around in his life.

“And how does Marlon’s brother know?” Robert demanded.

“Hey, I am right here,” Eli said.

Robert looked at Eli but quickly dismissed him. “Aaron?”

“Seems like Chris offered the job to Eli in Spain, not knowing we’re family. Chris is trying to set you up, he told Eli he was you.”

“That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Robert was not looking at Aaron anymore, he was glaring at Eli now.

Aaron just wanted to go upstairs and kiss his kids. Hearing that Chris wanted his children dead was both sickening and rage inducing. Nothing was more important than safety of his children. He would spend every pound in his bank account to protect them. He got that Chris was obsessed with money but how could any amount of money be worth killing innocent children?

“That doesn’t matter right now, what does is protecting the kids,” Aaron said.

“They are safe, I sent them off with Zak and Lisa to Finland. Seems your cousin Smudge is pretty famous and has a fortress he calls a home. Zak called in some favors and they left last night, we paid for a private jet, just so you know.”

“They’re not here?” Aaron felt panic start to seep in, he tried to keep it from becoming full blown.

Robert must have noticed. “Hey, it’s alright. They are safe with Zak and Lisa; they may be old but my monies on them in a fight.”

“How long are they going to be gone?”

“Until we know they aren’t in danger anymore.”

“I just want my children.”

“Maybe until we find this bloke you can go there too.”

“NO!” Aaron yelled. “I mean, no. I don’t want to hide. This is my life Chris is messing with. So, what’s the plan?”

“Why do you assume I have a plan?” Robert asked but Aaron wasn’t buying it. He just looked at Robert knowingly.

“Alright, I had to tell the police everything, and I mean everything. They have the video, so you’ll have to make a statement. I had silent alarms fitted for the house, which is why I knew someone was in the house. I’ll tell you everything I’ve sorted out later. It’s still early, you need to get some sleep,” Robert said.

“I haven’t been able to sleep in days.”

“That’s because I’ve been here. Come on, all this can wait until morning.” He smiled at Aaron but turning a glare on Eli. “You, don’t nick anything.”

“Aye, aye.”

Robert rolled his eyes, causing Aaron to smile. He loved his husband; the man could make him laugh when he felt like dying inside.

* * *

Robert tried to unsuspiciously look Aaron over to make sure he was alright. He could tell he was unsuccessful by the look in Aaron’s eyes. He couldn’t help it because Aaron always took his anger, frustration and sadness out on himself. Aaron’s body was an open book of Robert’s failures.

“I’m fine, Rob.”

“I wish I could believe that. You’re spiraling, I can tell. My guess is you’re hanging on by a tread. I knew it at the coast. I thought that if I pretended it wasn’t happening, it wasn’t. Have you done anything yet?”

“I got a bit of glass in my foot from the hovel that Eli had me in. I haven’t tried to get it out.”

Robert did his best not to groan. Of coarse Aaron would do this. He gets hurt by accident and he never treats it. He’s had sepsis more than once.

“Sit on the bed, I’ll go get the first aid kit. If it looks infected, we are going to Hotten and I don’t want to hear it.”

Aaron didn’t say anything, but Robert could tell he was not best pleased. He got the first aid kit and went to treat Aaron’s foot. Thankfully, it didn’t seem that bad. He got the glass out and cleaned and patched it up. He would have to check on it later.

Sometimes he thought about being with someone without as many issues as Aaron. But that would mean he wouldn’t have Aaron, so he didn’t think on it too long. Aaron and the kids were his world. Aaron was the only one who never gave up on him, even when they weren’t together Aaron always let Robert know he cared. There was no way that he wanted a life without him, no matter how much less drama-filled it would be. That sounded boring anyway.

“What’s this?” Aaron asked.

Robert came back from putting the first aid kit away. Aaron was holding up Rory’s toy dragon, Fagin. It was Aaron’s fault, he had let his mate Casey watch Rory and Ollie when Violet got RSV, respiratory syncytial virus, when she was two months old. She was in hospital for a week and he was stretched thin with going from work to hospital every day.

Aaron had one mate at their old place in Bradford. Robert wasn’t too keen on Casey, he always thought that Casey stirred the pot too much. She was alright, he guessed when she took care of Rory and Ollie that week, she had them watch every musical known to man. It was funny, you couldn’t catch Aaron dead watching a musical, but he let his mate indoctrinate their children with it. That was why when Casey gave to stuffed dragon to Rory, he named it Fagin. If she weren’t so annoying Robert would ring her for Aaron, but he didn’t need to add her insanity to this. She was very much like Aaron was when he met him, brash and unapologetic. 

“Rory wanted you to have him, he thought you could cuddle him while he was gone.”

Aaron smiled; it was a real, genuine smile. It was Robert’s favorite kind of smile. The man who was so hard on himself, smiling wasn’t something Aaron did much. When Robert met him, when he did smile it was a snide little smirk that made people want to smack off him. He was a gobby little prat then but sometimes Robert missed him like that. But he knows now that was when Aaron had all of his walls up and they were impenetrable. If he didn’t care about anyone, they couldn’t hurt him.

“He loves this thing. Why would he leave it?” Aaron asked holding up the green dragon.

“Because he loves you more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the Finland thing was a little out there but for the rest of the murder for hire part, I wanted the kids to be absolutely safe. Thought you guys would want that too.


	24. Separate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's such a short chapter.

Aaron felt raw and exposed as he left the police station. Giving his statement about what Ivan…no Keith had done to him left him that way. When he told the police about his father’s abuse, they were sympathetic and patient but with Keith’s, it was something else. Questions like; what was it that he planned when he brought Keith back to the flat? Did you fight as hard as you could? Are you sure this wasn’t a sexual game that got out of control? He felt bile rise in his throat at the questions. It wasn’t the one who questioned him before about his dad. This one was older, meaner and perverse. He hoped to never talk to him again. DI Bails was an arsehole and a terrible cop.

Robert was waiting for him when he stepped out of the police station. Aaron hated that look he was giving him. He didn’t give it to him often but when he did it made Aaron feel worse about himself, which was pretty bad right about now without it. It was that “Are you broken beyond repair this time?” look. The sad thing is Aaron didn’t know what that would feel like because every time it felt beyond repair.

“How was it?” Robert asked.

“Fine. Let’s get out of here.”

“What did they say about Keith and Chris?”

“Nothing, just forget about it.”

Robert pulled Aaron to a stop forced him to look at him. “What’s the matter with you? What happened?”

“He didn’t believe me okay.”

“What do you mean he didn’t believe you? The video.”

“He said just because I changed my mind after a sex game doesn’t mean it’s rape. He said I knew about the camera, said that it was role playing. He’s already interviewed Keith, said he told him everything. He said I liked playing hard to get. I’m not doing that again,” Aaron said, pulling away from Robert and stomping away.

There was also the fact this DI knew about the lottery win. He didn’t trust him and wondered how long it would be before everyone knew. They should have just stayed away and lived their lives separate from their families. Maybe even moved abroad.

“Why don’t we go back in there and talk to another detective?” Robert said coming up from behind him.

“No, drop it. They’re not going to help us. I hope you have something planned to catch Chris and the man trying to kill me because if we’re counting on them, we need to get new identities now.”

“Of course, I have a plan.”

“Alright, let’s go with it.”

“Don’t you want to know what it is?”

“I trust you.”

Aaron thought he may be nervous about the evil grin that had taken over Robert’s face but right now he just didn’t care. He was hanging on by a thread. Was it wrong of him to make this Robert’s problem? Aaron was already broken but if could make it, so Robert didn’t have to do anything to make him feel guilty.

* * *

Robert was really worried now. After taking an emotional hit, Aaron had two responses, one was to bounce back and keep going, the other was what he was doing now, internalizing everything. He wasn’t speaking, he wasn’t listening to anything Robert had to say, he just wasn’t. Robert had found his blades and asked Aaron about them. Aaron didn’t deny anything he just shrugged and went back upstairs.

It was because he was missing the kids, the arsehole cop, the worry about everyone finding us about the money, it was all just too much for Aaron, so he just shut down. This was the Aaron that he had no clue how to help. The one shouting and full of rage he could deal with all day long. The one that cut and let his pain bleed out of him a little at a time, he didn’t like it, but he knew how to handle it. But the Aaron that shuts him out, the one that is a stranger to him because there is just nothing there behind his eyes. Robert was sure there was some kind of medical term for it, some dissociation or something but he didn’t know how to help it. It was just a waiting game at this point.

Robert left him alone because he was lost as what to do. Sometimes it felt like he always had to be the one leading them, too bad he didn’t know the way any better than Aaron. Like he didn’t have a time to just feel insecure himself. He shook his head; this wasn’t about him. Actually, it was because if he hadn’t brought Chris into their lives Keith wouldn’t have attacked Aaron, Chris wouldn’t be trying to kill his family, it was all on him.

“So…what the plan?”

“Are you still here?” Robert asked, not bothering to look at the other man.

“Where else would I be? We Dingles are there when one of us needs them.”

“No one ever needs you, Eli.”

He had only known the man two days, but he was sure of it. Eli Dingle was a waste of space.

“Ouch. Where’d Aaron go?”

“He’s resting in our room.”

“Needed his car for that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw Aaron drive away a half hour ago.”

Robert took off up the stairs and went into their room. On the bedside table was a note. With much trepidation he picked it up and read it.

**_Rob,_ **

**_I can’t live like this. It has to end._ **

**_Aaron_ **

****

“Everything alright, mate?” Eli asked from the doorway.

“No.”

He felt Eli walk up and stand behind him. He turned and handed the note to Eli, feeling numb. Aaron had was going to end his life. His husband felt so helpless that he wanted to end it all.

“What’s this?” Eli took the note and looked it over. “Dumb kid.”

“That’s all you have to say. He’s going to kill himself and you call him a dumb kid.”

“What were you reading? Because this note says he’s going to end it. Which means, he’s on his way to this Chris guy right now. I may not have seen him in a while but the Aaron I knew, was a good little fighter. My guess is he’s going to try and end this mano-a-mano.”

Robert realized Eli was right about this. Aaron had huge abandonment issues caused by his mother leaving. He would never do that to his children. Who knew how his other issues played into his decision making? After the abandonment issue there was a litany of diagnosis he has collected over the years. PTSD, anxiety disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, dependent personality disorder and a few more that he couldn’t remember. Aaron had only shared with him his diagnoses, never the trauma that caused them until he told him about Gordon and Keith. And no telling whatever other traumas he had yet to tell him because Robert knew for sure there was more. But Aaron wasn’t his traumatic past, he was the strongest, kindest person he knew with the biggest heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but after several goes to get it just write I went with it. I hope you like it anyway. Also, we're coming up on the end soon. Hopefully no more than 5 more chapters.


	25. Do You Remember Me?

Aaron stood outside of the address he had gotten from Robert’s ledger before they went to the police station. He hadn’t planned this, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Robert would end up doing something that would get himself arrested and then where would Aaron and the kids be? He already knew that he couldn’t live without him, even if he had been planning for the worst to happen.

He knocked on the door before he lost his nerve. After a few moments, the door opened.

“What are you doing here?”

Aaron stood in shocked silence before speaking. 

“Cain? What?”

“I asked first, sunshine.”

“I wanted to speak to Chris and have him call off whoever he hired.”

“Already done.”

“What did you do?”

“Nothing to work yourself up over.”

“Cain, tell me now.”

Cain sighed and opened the door wider. Aaron stepped in and almost turned around and ran out. What the hell was his uncle doing? Chris was tied up and beaten to where he was almost unrecognizable.

“Was just waiting for dark to get rid of the body.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not dead.”

“That’s just wind escaping the body, pay it no mind.”

“Not dead.”

Cain shook his head and shrugged. Aaron felt he was in bad police procedural.

“Just tell me what’s going on?” he pleaded.

“The only way he’s going to leave you alone is if he’s dead.”

“How did you know about him?”

“Sugden told us when the village idiot drove you around in the boot of his car. Just wait until Chas gets her hands on him, he’s going to wish he stayed wherever he slithered away to when he ran away with his tail between his legs.”

Aaron shook his head; he didn’t care about any of that right now. “Did Chris tell you the name of the man he hired?”

“Yeah. Turns out he didn’t hire anyone yet. Some people have a hard time committing to the idea of slaughtering families.”

And like that it hit him again. This man wanted his children dead. If Chris were smarter his kids would already be dead. For a split second he wished Cain would have really killed him, but his conscious wouldn’t let him hold on to that thought. Not for this scum of the earth but because he couldn’t let his uncle throw his life away like that.

“Leave him,” Aaron said.

“What’s to stop him from doing this again?” Cain asked.

“We need to let the law take its course. It’s the only way the kids will be safe.”

“This man tried to kill me, I’ll make sure the police know,” Chris said. He was trying to wiggle out of his bonds.

“Good luck trying to find sympathy when they find out you were going to put a hit on a baby,” Cain said.

“Go Cain, I’ll take it from here.”

“Like hell I will.”

“I said get out,” Aaron demanded. This was something he had to do alone.

Cain looked like he was going to argue but finally nodded and left. Aaron just looked at the man tied up on the floor. For most of his and Robert’s life together, he was nothing more than a small nuisance. But now Aaron knew he was the reason Keith attacked him. Maybe Aaron could one day even forgive him as Robert told him it didn’t seem like he was in on that. But for him trying to have his children killed, there would be no forgiveness.

“What are you gonna do now?”

“Call the police.”

“You sure are confident that they will believe you.”

Aaron knelt down beside Chris and undid his ties. Cain had really worked him over, but it all looked pretty superficial. After he was free Chris didn’t move.

“Can you just tell me why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you hate me so much that you did everything you did to me?”

“Hate you? I don’t hate you. I don’t think about you at all.”

“Then why try and have me and my kids killed?”

“I could say it was because I wanted your money and husband.”

Aaron was getting confused. “Are you saying you didn’t?”

“Not everything is as clear as day as you think. If I wanted a partner it wouldn’t be a narcissistic tosser like Robert Sugden.”

“Explain.”

“I never wanted you boyfriend or husband for more that a quick tumble in bed. Keith was only supposed to distract you for a while. I had no idea he was capable of what he did. I distanced myself from the whole ugly affair, I know I should have taken the video to the police, but I didn’t want to get into trouble. When Robert left our company, I forgot all about him…and you. Then he started his own company, and a little birdie told me she heard that you had more money than you knew what to do with. I wanted nothing to do with it but then something happened.”

Aaron had realized he had started treating Chris’ wounds. It was just so reflective. He had gotten clean tea towel from the kitchen and a few supplies he had found around the kitchen. It was something Robert was always doing for him, something so small but so big. His mind really was all over the place.

“What happened?” He was back kneeling down beside him.

“Lawrence White happened.”

Aaron rocked back on his knees as he cleaned Chris’ busted up face. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano; A stage where every man must play a part, and mine a sad one.”

“What?”

“It’s Shakespeare, nevermind. Lawrence liked Robert; I think a little too much, but it was what it was. That wasn’t where the trouble started, it started after Robert started his own company and stole several of Lawrence’s biggest contracts. If you want to make a business tycoon deadly, take away his silver platter. Anyway, Lawrence was feeling the loss of those contracts.”

“I don’t understand. What does this have to do with anything?”

“You really are as dim as you look. Lawrence hired me to get rid of Robert. First, he had me harass you and Robert over again and try to get in your heads. I got to hand it to you, you didn’t seem to let it bother you. Then he hoped that the video would send Robert into a jealous rage and kick you out. I should have never told him about it. Since we both know the money for Robert’s company’s backing is yours, that means no more company. But that didn’t work. I told him it wouldn’t; any sane person could see that wasn’t consensual. Then when that didn’t work, he completely lost the plot.”

“Having me and the kids killed.”

“Well, he wanted only wanted you dead.”

Aaron’s stomach rolled. “You added my kids into it?”

“I had to, or he would have gotten someone to do his dirty work when I failed. Do you really think it was a coincidence I happened upon your cousin in Spain? I had to track that lazy sod down.”

“How did you know he was my cousin?”

“I know how to do research. Aaron Livesy was born to one Chasity Dingle and Gordon Livesy, a few months before they became Mr. and Mrs. I might add. Mrs. Chasity Livesy reverted back to her maiden name and washed her hands of said husband and son. Then it wasn’t hard to find a boatload of Dingles after that. My only problem was looking for one that wouldn’t actually do the job.”

For all Eli’s faults he was no killer. Aaron wondered how many relatives would have taken him up on the offer. They say Dingles stick together but he never felt that when he needed it. It was only after he could take care of himself, buy his own things and live in a home he couldn’t get kicked out of that they wanted to be there for him. It was why they could never find out about the money. They would bleed him dry and knowing him, he would let them.

“I don’t get it. Why pretend to be Robert?” Chris just looked at him like he was the dumbest idiot in the world. Aaron thought over what he had just learned. “Because of Lawrence. That was Lawrence’s new plan, have Robert framed for my murder. But you didn’t want to cross that line and looked for my pillock of a cousin. When he turned you down you hoped that would be enough for Lawrence to end this, too many people knew right? He didn’t though, he wanted you to find someone else. You didn’t, did you?”

Chris shook his head. “I couldn’t, I’m a bastard sure but not a murderer. I was trapped, he had the video and Keith was willing to take the hit and go to prison but take me down with him for what Lawrence offered him. You ever do something then realize you can’t look yourself in the mirror? I’m tired, I just want this over. I told him that I hired someone to kill you and the kids. Lawrence lost it told me that wasn’t the plan, no kids were supposed to be hurt. Told me to call it off, I was going to let him squirm for a little while but then your dear uncle paid me a visit.”

“And I came in on that. What was your plan? What if Lawrence would have been fine with my children being murdered?”

“He wouldn’t, he’s got kids and a grandkid. And as long as I was his middleman, he wouldn’t seek anyone out himself.”

“How do I end this?” Aaron was so very tired too.

“Have Robert give up his company?”

“No. What else?”

“Set up Lawrence, have him admit to trying to have you killed.”

“I’m not having a great run with police at the moment.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Great, that’s perfect. We go to Lawrence tonight; I know a good cop to bring with us. All we have to do is let Lawrence think the cop is there to kill you and pay him. You just play along like you’re scared for your life.”

“I am, you could be lying through your teeth to get me there and get rid of my body.”

“As fun of an idea that is, I’m going to have to pass. In fact, we’re going to have to do a lot more to get him to believe us.”

“Why?”

Chris gestured at his face. “Because of this gift from your uncle. Now it needs to look like there is a reason I have it.”

“Meaning?” Just as soon as he finished the word, Chris was on him slamming his fists into Aaron’s face, stomach, chest, anywhere he could land a hit. Aaron had been too trusting; it was always his downfall.

* * *

The police just pulled up to Chris’ house when Robert got there. He had rang them when he figured out that was where Aaron was going.

As he got out of his car he was met by a female detective.

“Mr. Sugden?”

“Yes.”

“I’m DS Gregson, I’ve been looking over the evidence your husband gave us and was about to reach out to him when you rang us.”

“He’s going to get himself killed, he just wants everything to be alright again.”

Robert watched as police knocked on the door when they did it swung open. One man just looked inside and turned around and yelled to DS Gregson.

“We got a body.”

“AARON!” he yelled as he tried to run into the flat. He was stopped by the officer standing in front of the door. Robert could see in and saw the lifeless body of Chris lying in a pool of blood. Aaron wasn’t anywhere in sight.

* * *

Aaron sat in the corner of room he was thrown into. His arms and legs were bound, and he had a gag in his mouth. He tried to make himself as small as possible in case the man attacked him. Chris had been beating him when the man arrived, the man had killed Chris. Aaron had no idea who his savior/kidnapper was. This time he wasn’t lucky enough for it to be Eli. But wasn’t unlucky enough for it to be Keith or even Lawrence.

He wondered how much Chris told him was the truth. Aaron guessed quite a bit of it. Robert always said the best way to lie was mix in a good helping of the truth. It makes it easier for people to believe.

“Are you hurt?” the man asked.

His ribs hurt but he didn’t think anything was broken. He shook his head, hoping the man kept his distance.

“That’s good. Sorry I didn’t get to him before he hit you some. If I remove the gag, you promise not to yell?”

Aaron nodded.

The gag was removed, and the man held a bottle of water to his mouth. He thought about refusing the drink in case it was drugged but he was so thirsty and maybe being knocked out would be best for whatever he was going to do. He took a drink, and the man pulled the bottle away.

“Thanks,” he said hoarsely.

“You don’t remember me, do you?”

Aaron looked at the man and could honestly say he had never seen him before in his life. He shook his head.

“It’s alright. I told you I would find you again. This will be the ninth lifetime I’ve found you in. I couldn’t be more surprised and chuffed to see you on the beach with those kids. You never wanted kids before, but I think you’re an amazing dad.”

Aaron’s breath caught, fear filling him. “Am I?” he asked slowly.

“Yes. Maybe when we get settled, we could send for them. I didn’t like the bloke though. I know it’s not cheating because I hadn’t found you in this life yet, but I don’t have to tell you how hurt that made me.”

Aaron’s brain was a little sluggish from the lack of sleep and hits to his head, but he thought he understood now. Somehow out of all the people in all the world, he attracted a lunatic that thought they were past lovers. Past lovers from the last eight lives. Robert was going to kill him for being so stupid. This man clearly had more issues than he did, and Aaron just watched him kill a man with a hatchet. His goal was to get back to Robert and his kids, meaning he would do what he had to do to get there. Even if it meant playing into this man’s delusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Chris/Lawrence/Keith saga will be wrapped up in the next chapter. Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm going to try and respond to them all tonight. I'm glad you all liked the last chapter. As for what just happened. I've had this part of the story since the beginning and was going to do it later but I think it happening now is better. Since everyone seems to want this continued, I'll do it. I will say that my mind always goes more to angst. I try and put happy in it but if I'm feeling sad, it kind of goes sad. But it will ALWAYS have a happy ending, I promise.


	26. Gone, Gone, Gone

It had been a week since Aaron went missing…again. But this time it wasn’t Eli that had him in the boot of his car. This time whoever had Aaron had murdered Chris. Robert didn’t feel bad about Chris’ death, the man was scum. But it was terrifying to know the person that had Aaron was a killer.

At first the police assumed that Aaron had done it but none of the evidence backed it up. The family had decided to keep Cain’s name out of it. Robert had yet to forgive him for leaving Aaron alone. Cain had told him that Aaron was an adult and being coddled wouldn’t help him, but Robert pointed out this didn’t help him either. Cain said he was out driving around and planned to come back after a little while to let Aaron feel in charge. He had seen the police and Robert, he stopped and found out what had happened. Cain was in major trouble with his little sister.

The police found enough evidence in Chris’ flat put Keith behind bars for a long time. Not only that, but they also found out the puppet master in all of this was Lawrence. Lawrence was putting up a good defense but the detective in the case thought they had a good case. The only problem was it would be a better case if they had Aaron.

Then there was the question of who had Aaron. There was a grainy CCTV of Aaron being shoved into a car. Robert could barely make him out but the one thing he did notice, his abductor was huge. Aaron had a fear of men larger than himself; it took a while for him to tell Robert. At the time Robert didn’t know why but now he does. Aaron had been a small boy and his father was so much larger than him, he was so easily intimidated and overpowered. That kind of fear just doesn’t go away, and Keith’s attack didn’t help the matter. Even because of Robert’s extra height on Aaron he couldn’t sneak up on him…he got a bloody nose the first time he tried that. It was when they were just flat mates.

Robert had just finished a videocall with the kids. They all decided until Lawrence was in jail the kids should stay where they were. Every time Robert spoke to Rory, he broke his heart. Rory begged him to let him talk to his dad. Robert was running out of excuses. They couldn’t tell him the truth, at least until it was necessary, and he hoped it never was.

Besides driving around and yelling Aaron’s name out the window, he had no idea what how to find him. He hired his PI again and two others and had them working together. He would spend everything he had to get Aaron back safe. It was like ever since they came back to the village everything went wrong. It had been a worry of his that it would be too much on Aaron but they both thought in the end it would be for the best. Their main reason was the kids. They needed family for Rory and Ollie mostly because of their trauma. Rory had blossomed since moving to the village but had backtracked because they had to protect him and send him and his brother and sister away. If they didn’t get Aaron back or if they only got a body back, then he didn’t know how Rory would recover.

Being honest with himself, he started to think they wouldn’t get Aaron back alive. Who abducts grown men? Lawrence knew about the money and so did Chris and Keith. What if they had told other people about it? The police were sure that they would get a ransom call, but it never happened…at least not yet. Getting that money was a curse he thought sometimes. Thankfully the police hadn’t told any of the Dingles. It wasn’t a major issue right now but it would be after they got Aaron back, one way or another.

_“You’re back,” Robert said._

_“Nothing gets by you.”_

_Aaron seemed angry or upset, Robert couldn’t tell which. Robert had been a little angry because Aaron had been gone for longer than planned. He was only supposed to be visiting his mum for a fortnight. He was gone for two months though and had barely spoken to Robert._

_“What’s your problem?”_

_“Sorry, just been thinking.”_

_“Really? I’ve been thinking too. How about we take this into the bedroom, and we can talk about it.”_

_“Can’t you think about anything else?”_

_“You’ve been gone for two months. I think this is the longest I’ve gone without since I lost my virginity.”_

_It was a lie, after he and Aaron got back together Aaron was a little cold. Aaron had even told him that he should go out on the pull. At first Robert thought it was Aaron’s way of experiencing different sexual partners but all he did was stay home. Then Robert found out about the cutting and everything else was not so important, only Aaron._

_“Do you love me?”_

_“What kind of question is that?”_

_“You’ve never said it. I just want to know; do you love me?”_

_“I’ve told you I’ve loved you before.” He was sure he had said the word, maybe not loads of times but he didn’t see the reason, he would have told him if he changed his mind._

_“Only after sex.”_

_“Of course, I love you. You have to understand, my father wasn’t the most demonstrative man ever born.” Aaron flinched when he said father. What was that about?_

_“I get that, I do. I just want to know what we’re doing?”_

_“Meaning?”_

_“When we met you wanted a wife, kids and your own company. Do you still want that?”_

_Robert looked at Aaron like he was crazy. Why was he bringing all this stuff up again? Aaron didn’t understand Robert’s bisexuality, it had always been a source of contention between them. It was like Aaron was always just waiting for Robert to leave him for a woman. Robert had almost ended the relationship over it before. It wasn’t even suspicion that Robert was cheating like every other relationship he had been in, it was just like Aaron expected he wasn’t good enough for Robert. Maybe in the beginning Robert thought that but Aaron was the kindest person he had ever met. Sure, when he met him, Aaron drove him mad with his bad attitude and smart mouth. But that was all just his way of protecting himself._

_“I want a partner, kids and my own company, yes. Who I want that partner to be? I had hoped it would be you. I know it’s not how we started this, but we’ve changed…I’ve changed. I love you; I want to be with you.”_

_He hadn’t been good when they started seeing each other, he knew that. He had used Aaron and it made him sick to remember back on those times. Robert had a lot of issues mostly from knowing how his father felt about him. He knew that was why he loved Andy more than him. Andy was the son that he always wanted, Robert was the son he was stuck with. When he found out about Robert’s bisexuality there was no going back._

_“I think we should get married.”_

_What the actual hell was Aaron on? “Are you on drugs?”_

_It was like a physical hit; Robert could see Aaron shutting down. “No. I’m going to unpack.”_

_“Wait. I’m sorry, it’s just we never talked about this before. Give me time, yeah?”_

_Aaron nodded and went into their bedroom. Robert felt like a heel and now had ruined Aaron’s homecoming. Did he want to marry Aaron? He hadn’t thought of it before, but he wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. He had thought he loved Katie, but he had learned that was mostly just spite. Why was he so weirded out by the thought of marrying Aaron? He thought he knew the answer, his father. He wasn’t going to let his father take away the person that meant the most to him in the world._

_He went to the bedroom and opened the door, shocking Aaron. “Let’s get married.”_

_Aaron now was the one that looked at Robert like he was insane. “What?”_

_“Let’s get married.”_

_“A second ago you said you needed time to think.”_

_“And I thought, I’m rather good at it. Where do you want to get married?”_

_“I was thinking Spain,” Aaron said slowly._

_“I don’t think we can really afford it.”_

_Aaron smiled which he rarely did. “I think we can go just this one time.”_

_Aaron was acting weird, but he was a weird bloke. He was closer to his grandmother than he was anyone else in his family so Spain worked well._

Robert smiled at the memory; it was an amazing time in their lives. When it became legal earlier in the year, they got married legally in Britain. They hadn’t needed it because with the money being such a large sum, they had made sure everything was legal. It was funny, they had already had three children before they were legally married.

“Any news?”

Robert shook his head, looking away from Paddy. The whole village was in a right state over Aaron’s disappearance. Since they had moved back Robert had heard several stories of Aaron’s short time here before. As a chavvy teenager he was always angering villagers. But since they had arrived, Aaron did his best to mend fences. In fact, he said he was planning on helping Edna Birch out with some secret that she told him. Aaron wouldn’t tell him because he didn’t want to break her trust, old Aaron wouldn’t have cared.

Sometimes he thought about what Aaron would have been like if he hadn’t endured so much trauma in his life. His guess, he wouldn’t be as empathic to people and their pain. As much as Robert wished Aaron had never been through the things he had been through, it made him who he is. While some of that is damaged and tired, there is also the man who knows exactly how to deal with a little boy’s cries that even he doesn’t understand. A man that can just sit with a stranger for hours and listen to them express their pain without feeling the need to fix it, because he knows there are no easy fixes. Who Aaron is…is amazing and he needed to come home.

* * *

“Are you hungry?”

Aaron shook his head, he thought if he ate, he would be sick. “No.”

“You need to eat.”

He had no idea how long he had been in the shelter. There were no windows. There was no way to know if he was near other houses or some desolate field. All he knew was he was probably going to die here. He was sure others had been here before him. It was set up as a prison. There was all the amenities for a person to live down here but why would they?

“I’m sick. I need a doctor,” he told his captor. He hadn’t gotten a name or anything. Actually, since the first day, there had been no real talking from the man. He would bring food a few times a day and leave. Aaron wondered where he was going. Did he have a family? Did he have a demanding job?

“You can’t go to the doctor yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t remember me yet. It’ll take time, sometimes you remember me but sometimes you’re too bad too remember. I don’t like those times and I have to start over and find you again.”

“Start over?”

The man nodded. “Sometimes you try to run, that means you never really remembered me, so I have to start again.”

“How does that happen?”

“It’s not nice to talk about.”

“I need to know. I want to make sure I try my best to remember.” Aaron needed to know what he was meant to say and how to act in order to stay alive.

“They had to be dealt with so you could come back again.”

“Dealt with? Like dead?”

“You don’t really die though, you always come back.”

“And I’ve come back nine times?”

“Of course.”

“How long am I usually with you?”

“I don’t want to talk about this. You’re with me now, that’s all that matters.”

The man left and Aaron heard the door lock on the outside. At first, Aaron thought the man just had some mental illness, he himself had mental illness so who was he to judge. But just talking to him now, he realized he wasn’t just sick, he was sick and dangerous. He knew he was somewhat dangerous when he killed Chris, but he had honestly believed that was because the man was worried that Chris was going to kill him. He didn’t know Chris’ end game but was thankful not to find out.

This man insisted they were soulmates or whatever and Aaron worried about what that meant. Should he prepare himself to be victimized again? If it were just him, he would die fighting, but he couldn’t leave the kids. Rory and Ollie had already been through so much. Violet was going to start walking soon. He knew he could recover from being attacked again, but what he couldn’t do was voluntarily have sex with this man, he couldn’t. He had only done that with one person and that was how it was going to stay.

When the man first locked him in this place, he was for the most part stable. But as the days went by, he got more and more off. When he went to sleep, he would dream of being trapped and scared but it wasn’t the room he was in now. It was a large room with a large man with a bald head. He could smell the cigarettes on the man’s breath. He knew the man, but it didn’t make sense. Why would he be having nightmares about the Macfarlane’s muscle years later? In fact, after he got away from their house it was all like a fuzzy memory.

He had remembered looking up and seeing his mum, she was there to save him. It was the first time in a long time, he felt that she loved him. When he had been young, she had told him that she didn’t like him, it hurt more than he let on. He had really thought he was doing right by telling her Carl cheated, maybe not in the best way but if she was being played for a fool she should know. She didn’t agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The abductor is an Original Character.


	27. Another Victim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning- Sexual assault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my medical knowledge is from google and medical dramas, so don't take anything I say as accurate.

“Gene, wake up.”

Aaron opened his eyes and looked at Bert who was standing over him. He was smiling and that made Aaron more scared than if he came in hitting him.

“Bert? What’s going on?”

“It’s our anniversary today. I thought today would be the perfect day to see what you remember.”

It had been a couple days since Bert asked him what he remembered.

“I don’t remember anything. My name is not Eugene, it’s Aaron. I have a husband and children. I have a family that need me, I need to go home.”

This seemed to agitate Bert, but he knew it would. He had decided a few days ago to make Bert see that he wasn’t who he thought he was. He knew that Bert was delusional, but he had to have a lucid moment some time.

“Shut up. That’s not right, that was before you remember me. They are nothing to you. I already told you I would get the kids for you after you remembered. You turned me down.”

“They belong with Robert. I’m getting sicker, I need a doctor.”

“You need a doctor I’ll get you a doctor.”

Aaron realized too late what that meant, he screamed no but it was too late, Bert was gone. Aaron had just signed another person’s death certificate.

The chills racking his body made him burrow under the very light blanket that Bert had given him. He hadn’t eaten in days, he tried but got sick all over himself. He was barely able to keep the water down. Something was wrong with him, really wrong. He knew he was running a fever. He felt worse now than when he had the flu, he didn’t know what was going on.

Later, he didn’t know how much later though, the door opened, and a tall, dark haired bloke was shoved through the door.

“Fix him,” Bert demanded before shutting the door and locking them inside alone.

Aaron looked blearily at the new addition to his hell. Tall, thin, cute even if he looked terrified. The bloke turned around and started to bang on the door, shouting to be let out.

“It’s no use. I don’t think he stays around. You can shout until your voice gives; he only comes back when he wants.”

“Who are you?”

“Aaron Livesy.”

“I know that name.” The man looked to be thinking before his eyes widened. “Your husband has been to Hotten General showing your photo to everyone in case you’re brought in. Got to say you look nothing like your photo.”

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. You’re really pale and lethargic.”

“That’s why you’re here. I’m sorry. I’ve been begging him to take me to the doctor, I guess he thought this was good as. You do look young for a doctor though.”

“F2. I don’t have anything with me. It’s not like I can diagnose anything like this.”

“He’s not working with a full deck. I’m sorry he brought you into this. What day is it?”

“14th of December.”

“I’ve been here almost a month?”

“I’m sorry. I’m Alex by the way. What has he done to you?”

“Nothing, I swear it. He just keeps me here telling me he’ll let me out when I remember. In the beginning I tried to pretend I did but he started to get violent, so I went back and told him I didn’t know him. Last little while I’ve been trying to get to see me as a person, my mum likes to watch those true crime shows. It’s what they say to do, if you make them see you as a person it’s harder for them to kill.”

“This is so mess up. I was leaving the hospital to finally get some sleep then I thrown in a car and driven off. Even if I do find out what’s wrong with you it’s not like I can write you a prescription or have him pop over to the chemist.”

“He’s not all there, I told you.”

“Our only hope is to get out of here.”

“Good luck with that,” Aaron said before turning back over to sleep, he was completely knackered.

* * *

There was big news that a young doctor from Hotten General had been taken. They had CCTV of him being pushed into the very same make and model car that Aaron was taken in. The police didn’t want to say for sure it was the same bloke, but they were leaning that way. The best news was that the detective who hadn’t believed Aaron about Keith was put on suspension pending investigation. He hoped that they fired him. It was odd, Charity seemed to be spearheading the move to make DI Bails pay for what he had done.

“Why would he abduct a doctor?” Cain asked.

“Maybe he’s some serial killer,” Sam said.

Everyone looked at him and Chas looked like she was going to kill. “Aaron’s not dead.”

“So, this bloke is collecting men?” Paddy asked.

“We don’t know anything. All we do know is that the bloke that took the doctor looks to be the same one that took Aaron,” Robert said.

It had been a month since Aaron was taken and it felt like longer. He had finally told Rory that his daddy was missing, and they were looking for him. Rory had wanted to come back and help look. Robert loved his son for this, but it broke his heart. He had to tell Rory that he needed to stay in Finland with his brother and sister. Zak had almost come back but Chas had talked him into staying to protect the kids. Aaron would be devastated if they found him only to find out the kids were hurt or worse.

Robert had taken to staying at the little cottage Aaron had built. He had met with the bloke that fixed it up, nice bloke, Jackson had done a few minor changes for him. He had helped Robert get the home ready for Aaron and the kids to get back. Aaron was right, they didn’t need a huge house with a bad history connected to it. He had gone about getting the small cottage into a perfect home for the five of them. He gave it personality where it was lacking, Aaron was never a decorator.

Aaron would like to live in the cottage more than Home Farm. Robert had just wanted to show everyone in the village that he wasn’t the stupid dreamer he left as. Now that just didn’t seem to matter anymore, nothing did but getting Aaron back and getting his family back. Violet had taken her first steps the other day, Belle recorded it for him, but it still wasn’t the same. Ollie was talking up a storm. They had been able to get a therapist there every other day to help with his motor skills. Aaron hadn’t wanted that because he thought it would be too much on Ollie but now, he was catching up to where he was supposed to be.

He would probably always be a little delayed but maybe now be able to have his own life independently from them when he grew up. They had been talking about seeing when they were too old to have Rory or Violet oversee things in his life, now hopefully they wouldn’t have to.

* * *

“You’re getting worse,” Alex said. Aaron rolled his eyes; he could have told him that.

“Is that your professional opinion, doctor?”

“Yes, it is. I also have an educated guess what’s wrong with you.”

“Really? You said you wouldn’t be able to tell.” It had been a few days since Alex joined him. As sad as he was that another person had to be in this hell, he was glad for the company. He knew all about Alex and his perfect family, his job and his ex who sounded like a prat.

“I can’t guarantee, it’s just an educated guess.”

“So, what’s the verdict?”

“First, have you been sick lately?”

“I had the flu about two months ago, I think.”

“I think you have pneumonia.”

“How do I get rid of it?”

“Antibiotics, drink loads of clear liquid, paracetamol for fever and headaches. Rest is also up there.”

“We don’t have any of that stuff.”

“We could ask him to bring it but like I said, I don’t have my prescription pad on me. But most of all, it’s just a guess, but listening to your breathing while you sleep, it’s a good guess.”

“What if I’m not treated?”

“It’ll get worse, then we run into where it’s dangerous. Since you’ve said you’ve been sick since you got here, I’m worried it’s not already to a dangerous stage. What I’m really worried about is that its Legionnaires’ disease. With you already sick when you arrived, your system was compromised. If he’s getting our water from an unsafe water source, then the bacteria could be living in it.”

“That means you’ll get sick too, right?”

“If I get sick, it’s Legionnaires’, if I don’t it’s the simple pneumonia which isn’t that simple.”

“Isn’t pneumonia contagious?”

“Depends on the pneumonia, if is fungal I’ll be alright.”

“Unless what I caught it from is here too.”

“Yes, there’s that.”

“What do we need?”

“Truthfully?”

Aaron nodded but his whole body hurt so he stopped.

“We need to get out of here.”

“How do you know so much about Legionnaires’ disease?”

“Had a patient my first year, did a paper on it.”

“They lived?”

“Yes, but we were in a fully equipped hospital. We need to get you out of here.”

“But you said it might not be it.”

“Are you willing to take a chance on your life with a guess from a F2?”

“I can barely move. I don’t see us fighting him off, he’s a giant. Sorry to say, you don’t look like much of a fighter either.”

“I’m not.”

“I can hold my own, but I can’t even hold up my arm.”

“Then we’ll have to outsmart him.”

“Never been my strong suit. My husband though, he would have been out of here before the door shut on day one.”

“Smart?”

“Very but he’s also the most calculating bloke you’ll ever meet.”

“What would he do?”

“Lie, scheme and seduce.”

“Charming. What if I tell Bert that we need to get you to the hospital?”

“We’ve tried that.”

“But now I have a diagnosis to give him. It’s something he can look up to know we need the hospital.”

“Fine, he should be here soon. You do that, I’m going back to sleep.”

Before he could turn over, they heard the key in the lock. Aaron stared at the door watching for Bert to come in the room. Bert walked in and Aaron knew instantly he had been listening in on their conversation, he looked angry. He had something in his hands that Aaron couldn’t make out.

“You planned to lie to me? I give you help, and you planned to lie to me? You are no better than the bad ones. I need to start over again.”

“No,” Aaron pleaded weakly.

“No, you don’t have to start over. He’s just really ill,” Alex said, getting in front of him, blocking Bert from Aaron’s view. Aaron had told him about Bert’s delusions.

“You are a liar, nothing but lies from you,” Bert said as he shoved Alex away. Alex fell and hit his head on the metal bed frame. He fell to the ground and didn’t get back up. He looked dead to Aaron.

“Bert, Alex needs help.”

“He was only here to make you better, he’s not important. I’ve decided if you can’t remember, I’ll make you remember. I don’t like to do it this way, it’s crude.”

“What way?” Aaron asked, he didn’t know if the shiver he just felt was from his normal sick chills or whatever Bert had planned.

“I’m taking you upstairs to bed. We’ll get you washed up and into bed. You always did like that way I loved you hard.”

This was how he was going to die; he knew it. He didn’t have to fight to the death, his body wouldn’t be able to stand what was going to happened to him. He just hoped he fell into unconsciousness before it happened. He also hoped his body would be found; he didn’t want Robert to always wonder. He wanted him to get on with his life. Meet someone, man or woman that could put up with his snarky mouth. Someone who would love the kids like they were their own. Someone that would grow old with Robert because he knew that was his biggest fear, getting old alone.

He was grabbed and pulled up to his feet. “Come on,” Bert said as he forced Aaron to walk with him. His legs felt like jelly after so many days not being able to walk. The pain in his body was all he could think about, that was until they got out of the dungeon, Aaron noticed Bert didn’t lock the door back. It was probably because he knew Alex was dead.

* * *

Alex’s head was killing him when he woke up. It felt like a lorry had hit him full on. Looking around he saw that Aaron wasn’t there. Where did he take him? Standing up took a few tries but when he was on his feet he went to the door. He had a routine; he would try the door and then kick it a few times. He just started his routine for what felt like the hundredth time since he was taken when the doorknob kept going and the door opened. He stood there slack-jawed for a few moments. Before he knew what to do, he heard screaming from above him. It was Aaron and it sounded like the scream of someone who was in too much pain to live.

He went through the now open door and followed the sounds. What they had been in looked like something someone had made. A dungeon. The rest of the place look nice with furniture that reminded him of something his gran had in her home.

There was a fireplace poker, he grabbed it and headed towards the stairs. Suddenly there was a new scream, it wasn’t Aaron’s, it was cut off not a half second later. He ran up the stairs and entered the room the noise was coming from and came to a dead stop.

“Aaron?” he asked.

Aaron looked up with a wild look in his eyes. “Be careful, he might wake up.”

“Not likely to happen, mate.”

Aaron and Bert were both completely nude but that wasn’t what had his attention. It was the screwdriver buried through Bert’s eye and brain. The body had quit spasming, but he was very dead, a first-year medical student could see that.

“He’s going to get up soon, you can’t be in here when he does.”

“Aaron, he’s dead.”

Aaron shook his head. “No. I just wanted him to stop. I didn’t kill him. I couldn’t.”

“We need the police, so they can come help us. You still need to get to the hospital.” More than ever now.

“And they need to arrest Bert.”

Aaron sounded so incredibly young. In the days he had been with him he was nothing like this. Alex suspected shock and maybe a mental break. He was talking almost like a child and it was starting to freak him out.

“Let’s get you out of this room. You don’t need to be in here.”

Aaron nodded but when he stood, he collapsed to the ground and passed out. Alex checked his arterial pulse, it was strong. Now he needed to get them help and get the hell out of here.


	28. Stranger in the Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will actually not be as depressing as it is in this chapter. Things will start to get better next.

He watched as nurses came in and out of his room. His doctor came a few times, but he chose not to talk to her, in fact he hadn’t said anything to anyone. It wasn’t clear to him why he was even in the hospital. He hurt and felt tired but that wasn’t a right out answer to the hospital thing. His doctor told him that the police wanted to speak with him, he didn’t want to speak with them, so he kept quiet. People kept calling him Aaron, so he supposed that was his name.

“Aaron are you ready to speak with the police?” the blonde nurse asked, he didn’t like her she was too cheery.

He shook his head; he wouldn’t be speaking to anyone. Suddenly there was noise outside his room and three people forced their way in. A tall blond man with a hesitant look on his face, a middle-aged woman with dark-hair and eyes. She looked like she had been crying. There was also a similar aged man with her, they looked similar, but he was all hard edges.

“Oh Aaron, luv,” the woman said rushing to his bedside. She pulled him into an embrace, he didn’t fight it, but he didn’t return it. She let him go and pulled away just a small bit. “Are you alright? I was so worried.”

She was a pretty woman, he wondered who she was. The middle-aged man stood back, watching with eagle eyes. The blond man confused him the most. He didn’t look like the other two, where they were tanned with dark features, he had a very light complexion with blue eyes and blond hair. He was also quite tall, nice looking in a posh way. He looked sad, in fact they all looked sad. He wondered why they were so sad.

“How are you feeling?” the woman asked.

He shrugged, still not in a hurry to speak to anyone. They really did seem upset. When he woke up in the hospital his doctor had been a little off. She asked him to do a rape exam, he shook his head. Why would he need one of those, he was a bloke? He was sore but he was sure that was from whatever accident that landed him in this bed.

“Why isn’t he talking?” she asked the blond man.

“I don’t know, Chas, I got here the same time you did. I’ll go ask the doctor.”

The blond man left with one last look. He turned back to the woman who was really close to him, he could smell her perfume, she used too much.

“Everything is going to be alright, luv. That man is dead, and he can never come back. They’re all gone, no one will hurt you ever again.”

He wondered if she had been drinking, she sounded like she had one too many. The whole thing felt very awkward, he hoped she would stop crying.

“Sis, why don’t you go see what’s holding up Robert and the doctor,” the middle-aged man said.

“What? No. I need to be near my son.”

Son? Was he her son? He didn’t know her, but he hadn’t seen anyone he knew. He tried to think of his mother but came up blank. Tried to think of his father, blank again. Didn’t remember if he had any siblings or anything else. The staff called him Aaron, but they could be telling stories and he would be none the wiser. Keeping his mouth shut still seemed the best course of action.

The woman put up some more protest, but she finally did leave. The man just stared at him, he stared back, he wasn’t concerned.

“She’s been worried sick about you and here you are acting like she’s something you found on the bottom of your shoe.”

He shrugged.

“You don’t have anything to say for yourself? I guess you’re angry with me, I left you there and I’ll take my blame but don’t treat her like that.”

He was getting really bored of this bloke’s yakking, so he turned over and tried to take a kip. The drugs they had him on were strong, he wondered if they would let him take them home. He needed to find out where that was before he was discharged. He heard huffing and the door open and shut, he was able to drift off in the drug-filled haze.

* * *

“What’s wrong with him?” Robert asked the doctor.

Aaron had yet to say a word. Not only that he just didn’t seem to care about any of them. He’d been gone a month and hadn’t yet asked about the kids. Robert had spoke to Dr. Alex Mason who had been in that hell with Aaron. He said Aaron talked about the kids and Robert when he was feeling up to it.

“He hasn’t spoken a world to me or the other staff. He didn’t consent the rape kit but when he was brought in, he was unconscious, I did a full exam. There was tearing, and I was able to repair what I could. The rest will just have to heal on its own.

“Is that why he’s acting this way?” Robert asked.

“I can’t be sure. Because his attacker is dead, I don’t feel the need to ask again for him to consent. But that wasn’t his only injury.”

“What other injuries?” Chas asked, Cain just came and joined them.

“He has pneumonia, a bit malnourished and dehydrated. But also, he has been flogged.”

“Flogged?” Robert asked, horrified.

“Yes, he some crisscross marks on his back. They aren’t as deep as they could be, but they did cut the skin, it’s being treated too.

“Why won’t he speak?” Chas asked, crying.

“I can’t answer that, we’re waiting for someone from the mental health liaison service to come down and speak with him. We’re pretty busy today so it might be a while.”

“He has a counselor; do you need her name?” Robert asked.

“I’m hoping that Aaron will tell us who he wants up to reach out to, if it’s needed, we’ll contact her.”

Robert nodded and went back into the room. He always hated hospitals. The only good experience he had was when Violet was born. Aaron was sleeping when he got back, so he sat beside his bed and decided to ring Lisa. He was sure that Cain had already let them know but he just wanted to check on the kids.

After two rings, it was picked up.

“Hello, luv,” Lisa’s gentle voice answered.

“Hiya, Lis, how’s the kids?”

“Sad that they aren’t spending Christmas at home. I’ve got to say, I’m feeling the same.” The guilt ate at him.

“Why don’t you come home. All the threats are gone and honestly I would love to just give my kids a cuddle.”

“They want that too. I’ll tell Zak, I’m sure we could be back by tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Use the card we gave you; I don’t care how expensive the tickets cost.”

“Are you sure? That could be a lot of money.”

“I’m sure.”

Robert watched as Aaron turned back over, wincing some and looked at him with a distant look. Even in their worst rows, Aaron had never looked at him as though he were a stranger.

“I’m speaking to Lisa; do you want to speak with her?” he asked.

Aaron just looked at him with those blue eyes that he loved so much, but he didn’t say anything or even shake his head.

“I guess he’s still exhausted,” Robert said to Lisa.

“Give him our love,” she said, sounding disappointed.

“I will.”

He disconnected the call and looked at Aaron. “Lisa sends her love. I told her to bring the kids home. I hope that’s not going to be too much for you. I have a surprise for you when we go home.”

* * *

The blond man was staring at him again. It was starting to give him the creeps. Why would he want to talk to some bird he didn’t know? Why did this bloke think he cared about his kids coming back? And what surprise did he have for him? Did they live together? Was this his brother or something?

He didn’t bother to speak to him, it was pointless. As soon as he got out of this bed no one would be able to find him for dust.

A man with long hair and a sharp outfit walked in.

“Hello, Aaron. I’m Nick from the mental health liaison service, may I speak to you?”

Aaron shrugged; he didn’t care what the man had to say. He could talk until he was blue in the face. The blond got up and walked out, leaving them alone.

“How are you feeling?”

Aaron just looked at him, the bloke would give up and go away soon enough.

“Your husband seems to be very worried about you.”

That caused him a moment of pause…husband, who would have thought. The bloke would get over it because there was no way he was going home with him.

“Why aren’t you speaking? Do you feel unsafe here?”

He rolled his eyes; this bloke was too much. After that he just started ignoring him and soon enough, he left too. If he felt better, he would leave right now, apparently, he was ill though, which was why he felt so shattered.

The blond came back in and he felt annoyed. When would he get it through his thick skull, he didn’t want anything to do with him?

“Aaron, why aren’t you talking?”

He knew he would have to speak sooner or later, and he hoped this would shut him up.

“Listen, I don’t know you. I don’t know those people you brought in with you and I don’t know who Aaron is. My guess is you think it’s me but seriously, I don’t have the foggiest idea who any of you are.”

“You’re joking, right?” the blond asked, he looked panicked.

“No. I’m sorry,” he lied. He didn’t care one way or the other.

“You are Aaron Livesy, my husband. Those people were your mother Chas and uncle Cain. Your children are coming home tomorrow.”

Children? Nope, not happening. “I don’t think so. Do you know when I’m getting out of here?”

“If you’re not coming home with us, where will you go?”

“Don’t know, I don’t have any money, but I’ll figure something out.”

“If you don’t want to stay with me and the kids, stay in our other estate, I was going to surprise you when you were discharged. The kids and I will stay in our current one.”

“Alright.”

The blond looked miserable, but it wasn’t his job to keep the man happy.

“Can I come visit you until you’re released?” the blond asked.

“I think it would be better to cut our loses here.”

The blond nodded and stood, he looked back at him like he was expecting something. The man left and he was glad for it.


	29. Home

“This is it, what do you think?” Robert asked, looking at Aaron.

“It’s very…festive.”

Robert didn’t miss the derisive tone Aaron used. Aaron got the go ahead to come home. He looked shattered and was walking very carefully. Knowing what happened to his husband made his heart ache. But he still insisted his injuries were from an accident.

“Do you not like it? I can take down the decorations.”

“It’s fine, it’s not really me though.”

Robert felt like it was very him but wanted Aaron happy.

“You can stay at our other estate and I’ll bring the kids here. I’ve been working on their rooms here anyway.”

“Would you? Ta,” Aaron said leaving the cottage and going back to Robert’s car.

The kids were supposed to be home in a few hours, and he wanted Aaron in bed resting. While he wasn’t behaving like his husband, he still was his husband. So, he wanted to take care of him. This was supposed to be the best Christmas, having all the kids and their home with all the Dingle and Sugden festivities.

Aaron had shared one memory from when he was little about how the Dingles celebrate and the one right before he ran away. He said he felt like an interloper both times and that it wasn’t his family. That’s how Robert always felt with his own family, so they were prefect together, they made their own Christmas rituals. He guessed none of that was going to happen this year.

Robert took Aaron to Home Farm; Aaron’s eyes grew when they pulled up to the massive home.

“How can we afford two estates and one being this place?” Aaron asked.

Robert debated telling Aaron the truth, he usually would but Aaron wasn’t behaving like himself. If the memory loss turned into something permanent, then he would but right now he had hope that Aaron would remember. His doctor said the scans came back fine that there was no physical reason for the memory loss. She said that she expected his memory to come back in a few days. She also said that she didn’t want Aaron alone, but Robert couldn’t have the kids around him. First, he was sick and injured but also, he didn’t remember them, and they wouldn’t understand. Chas was going to stay with him, it had been agreed but Aaron didn’t seem to like that idea. He would get over it, it was that or Cain.

“Hard work,” he said, hoping to stave off any more questions.

“Okay,” Aaron said with a shrug.

Now it was time for Robert to ask a favour he had no business asking. But Christmas couldn’t go by without his kids hearing from their other father. They already wouldn’t be able to be around him because Aaron did need rest and putting kids around someone with pneumonia isn’t a good idea.

“I texted your mum. She knows to come here.”

“I don’t want her.”

“The only other option is Cain.”

“Nope, not him.”

“There is no one else.”

“What about you?”

“I wish I could, but the kids need me.”

He nodded but didn’t seem too upset about Robert not being able to stay. That hurt more than he thought it would.

“She’s a bit much.”

“Yeah, mums are like that.”

“Is yours?”

“My mum died, well both of them. My mum died when I was a few months old then my dad married again, the woman who raised me and I thought of as my mum died when I was fourteen.”

“What about your dad?”

“He died eight years later.”

“I’m sorry. That must be hard to deal with.”

“I have my sister.” And his brother, but he didn’t want to count him right now. He also had some siblings from his mother, Pat, but he hadn’t really interacted with them.

“That’s good. I know Chas is my mum but where is my dad?”

Robert did everything in his power to keep his face blank. Aaron hadn’t shown any interest in knowing anything about his past in the past day, Robert hoped this meant that it was changing. The doctor said the more he was around familiar people and things the faster his memory should come back. But Gordon wasn’t something that he wanted him to remember but knew if Aaron did get his memory back, Gordon and Keith would be there. The doctor was unsure about Bert because of the trauma Aaron suffered right before he lost consciousness.

“Your dad, he’s not in the picture.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means its better if you remember that on your own without me telling you.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“He’s just not a good person. Can that be enough right now?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Aaron, I was wondering if you would do something for me?”

“What?”

“The kids. Rory knows you were missing but back now. He doesn’t know you don’t remember him. I think it would be detrimental for him if you don’t see him. I was thinking maybe a video chat. He would sort of understand you not being able to be around them since you’re sick. I’ve spent the last two days trying to make sure this Christmas was their best. They just need to see you.”

“You want me to pretend to know them?”

“Yes. I’ll be right there and help you out if they ask anything that needs to be answered. I just want for their Christmas to be wonderful. This is our first with the boys and Violet. She’ll be one next month. Please, I know you don’t owe me anything but for them, give them a happy Christmas.”

“I’ll do it.”

Robert’s eyes widened. “You will?”

“I just don’t remember them Robert, I’m not a monster. If it will make a few of kids happy then why wouldn’t I?”

“I just expected having to talk you into it.”

“Well, since everyone says we are married I’m sure it’s not the first thing you’ve talked me into,” Aaron said with a smirk.

It was so very unlike Aaron but also fun and light. It was never light with Aaron, even in the beginning before he knew about all of his demons. He had never got to know the Aaron that wasn’t hurt and traumatized. But an Aaron that didn’t have Aaron’s past wasn’t his husband and the other father to his children. Wasn’t the man who encouraged Robert to take a chance on starting his own business. It wasn’t even the fear of it failing that held Robert back, they had enough money to cover it. No, it was failing and having his father be right about him. But he didn’t fail, he thrived.

“Thanks. I’ll ring before we do it. Your mobile has been broken or damaged, we couldn’t find it. I got you a new one today.” He pulled out the box and handed it to Aaron. “Do you know how to set it up?”

“I believe so. It’s like I remember how things work, maths and even how the Hound of the Baskervilles ends but not my own life.”

“You read Hound of the Baskervilles?” He just realized Aaron never really talked about his life before they got together. Now he knew why but the things in his life were important too.

“No, not that I know of so maybe.”

“We’ve been together all these years and I never knew you were a secret Sherlock Holmes fan.”

“Not me, my grandad.”

Robert stopped smiling and stared at him. Aaron froze too, looking confused.

“Your grandad?”

“I don’t know why I said that.”

“So, you don’t remember?”

“No but that feels right.”

Shadrach Dingle had never looked like the reading type but what did he know.

Just then they heard the front door open. Robert turned around and saw Chas coming in with her arms full of bags.

“You’re not moving in, Chas,” he told her.

“Hush, you. I may need something, best be prepared.”

“Did your father like Sherlock Holmes?” Aaron asked her bluntly.

She looked surprised then laughed a bit. “My dad read? If it wasn’t the racing forms, he didn’t care.”

“Aaron just thought he remembered that his grandfather loved Sherlock Holmes,” Robert explained.

“He remembered?”

“Just that one thing but it looks to be wrong,” Aaron said dejectedly.

“Not Shadrach, your other grandfather Tim, he would read to Aaron. I thought Hound of the Baskervilles was a bit much for a seven-year old, but he loved it. Used to be just like Sherlock Holmes when he was little, I thought it was cute. He would go around solving “crimes”, he always knew who the culpert was.”

“I did?”

“Yeah, it was always you.”

“So, I did have a real memory, just not a clear one. Maybe this is the beginning,” he said with a smile.

Chas and Robert exchanged a look, that meant sooner or later, Aaron would have to deal with his distant past traumas and new past traumas all together.

“I’ve got to go finish the kids’ rooms before they get back. I’m sure Chas can help you with your mobile if you need it. Thanks for playing along, they really need to see you.”

“What’s all this about?” Chas asked.

“Robert asked me to video chat with the children tomorrow so they could see me. He asked if I could pretend to remember them.”

“Robert! That’s asking too much of him.”

“It’s for the kids.”

“I don’t care, I’m thinking about my kid.”

“First, don’t take about me like I’m not here. Second, I’m not the kid here. They need to be thought of first. If I can make a little bit of their Christmas better by pretending, then I will. Hopefully, in a few days it won’t be pretend anymore.”

“I’m sorry, luv. Of course, you’re right. We need to think about them,” Chas said.

“It’s best I leave. Just text if you need anything,” Robert said, he was about to lean over and kiss Aaron when he remembered, he was a stranger to him.

He left and felt like he was leaving his world behind him.


	30. Christmas Day

“Santa was here!”

Robert opened his eyes, it felt like he had just got in bed. He was up all-night wrapping gifts. He had been too worried about Aaron for the last month and had not gone Christmas shopping until the day Aaron was found. When he was shopping, he realized he had no idea what gifts the kids wanted. He had to ring Lisa and ask her. She said that Rory had been talking about Baxter the Dinosaur, a robot dinosaur that did a lot of things. Robert searched high and low for it and couldn’t find it. Not even having all the money in the world could get that toy. He got a robot dog and hoped that would be alright. The babies were easy to buy for because they would like anything. Rory would too but he deserved everything he wanted. Robert put an order in for the dinosaur, but the website said it would be about six weeks to get in stock.

“He was?” Robert asked his beaming son.

Rory nodded and jumped a little on his feet, he was wearing Christmas footie pajamas that Robert had found in his and Aaron’s closet. There were three all in sizes for the kids, they matched. Robert was sure Aaron had gotten them for Christmas morning, so he put Rory in his last night. He would put Ollie and Violet in theirs after breakfast, he didn’t want them to ruin them before he could record them opening presents for Aaron. He wanted these memories on video so at least Aaron could see them when he remembered, it was their first Christmas as a complete family after all.

He fed them breakfast but could see Rory’s eyes squarely on the tree and the presents under it. Ollie also seemed to be interested in the presents, Violet gave no notice.

“Can we open presents yet?” Rory asked, his eyes pleading.

“Alright, let me get Ollie and Vi cleaned up.”

“I’ll pick out which one we should open first,” Rory said running into the front room were the tree was set up.

“Tata sad,” Ollie said.

“I’m not sad,” he said, smiling at his youngest son. Ollie had overcome so much; he was already a little charmer Lisa had said. “Let’s go see if Santa left prezzies for you.”

“Yeah,” Ollie said before giggled. Robert sat him on his feet, and he was running into the front room. When they moved to the village earlier in the year, Ollie hadn’t even been able to walk or talk. Now he was so much further than they expected in such a short time. He would love to credit them for it, but it seemed to have grown during the time Ollie was with Lisa, Zak and Belle in Finland. He just hoped he would be able to keep up the work and help Ollie.

He picked up Violet and took her into the front room were Rory and Ollie sat on the floor looking at the tree with big eyes. There were four presents in a line.

“What is this?” Robert asked.

“I put out one present for each of us. Are you sure Dad’s not coming?”

“I’m sorry, he’s still not feeling well.”

Rory nodded sadly. That wouldn’t do for Christmas.

“Why don’t you open your present first?” Robert said.

Rory’s eyes widened again, and he ripped the wrapping off the present. It was building blocks. Rory smiled so much and wanted to open them right away.

“Ollie, you are next.”

Ollie opened his slower but just as messy. It looked like a large tablet, but it was to help kids learn the alphabet, there were letters with pictures, but you could also work on numbers and foods. Ollie smiled and tossed it aside ready to open more. Next was Violet, he had to help her open it. It was a doll. She started trying to get it’s head off. No pets for that one. Then it was Robert’s turn for his only one, it had come in the mail a few weeks ago. It had already been wrapped and labeled, apparently Aaron had ordered it and worried that Robert would see what it was before he had a chance to wrap it.

“Your turn, Tata,” Rory said. Without Aaron here he hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. If it was a personal or intimate gift, he was going to be in so much trouble with his inquisitive son.

He opened the wrapping carefully; he knew Aaron hadn’t wrapped it, but this could be the last gift he ever got from him. His eyes landed on the box. Rolex. His hand shook as he held the box. He had told Aaron that he always thought that Rolex watches were the sign that you were successful. After they got the money Aaron had asked him if he was going to get one. Robert told him that only when he was successful would he get one. Tears threatened to fall. This was Aaron telling him he thought he was successful.

“Tata, are you sad?” Rory asked.

“No, I’m not.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s my present from your dad.”

“Open it,” Rory cheered.

Robert slowly opened the box and stared at the beautiful watch that Robert had shown him years ago when they lived in that tiny flat. They were talking about their future; it was right after Aaron started seeing his counselor for cutting. How did Aaron remember the same exact watch? How did he find it? It was years ago.

“Pretty,” Ollie said, reaching out and petting the watch.

“It is pretty isn’t it?” he asked, smiling, brushing away the stray tear that fell. “Why don’t you pick out your next gifts,” he said.

By the end of the present opening, the front room looked like a disaster. Wrapping paper was on every inch of the floor and he couldn’t see Violet anymore. He was about to panic when he found her sleeping under the tree holding her now headless doll. He then watched as Ollie played with the box his play kitchenette set came in instead of the kitchenette set. Then he looked at Rory who looked sad.

“What’s wrong?” he asked his oldest.

“Santa didn’t think I was good.”

“What? Why do you think that?”

“He didn’t bring me the only thing I asked for.”

Robert kicked himself, he knew he should have started shopping earlier he had just been too worried about Aaron and wanting the get the cottage ready. He should have thought about his children first.

“I’m sure he thought you were very good. Sometimes he doesn’t have all the toys.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay, Baxter was awesome though,” he said, trying to cheer himself up.

“Why don’t we ring Dad?” Robert said. He wanted Rory to be happy. It worked because Rory’s face lit up and he smiled.

“YAY!

* * *

“DADDY!” the older boy yelled.

Aaron plastered on a smile and waved back at the screen. He was on a laptop because Chas thought it would be best to use to speak with the children.

“Happy Christmas,” Robert said coming into screen. “Rory, Ollie and Violet all wanted to talk.” The other man tapped each child on the head as he said their name.

“Happy Christmas. Did you get everything you wanted?” he asked no one in particular.

The older boy started to tear up a little and shook his head. “I wasn’t a good boy and didn’t get Baxter the Dinosaur. I really did try and be good, Daddy.”

* * *

Robert saw Aaron pale and wondered what was going on.

“I need to go,” Aaron said quietly.

“No, Daddy, please don’t go,” Rory cried.

“Rory, remember your dad isn’t feeling well. We’ll talk to him at a later time.” He looked at the camera and spoke to Aaron. “You go on Aaron, it’s alright, I got this.”

The screen went blank and Robert was worried but had three children to take care of, so he had to push it away.

Hours later Robert had the kids back in the newly cleaned front room. They were watching Christmas movies and eating snacks. He had been invited over to the Dingles and his family for the holiday, but he turned them down. He would go tomorrow on Boxing day but today he just wanted to enjoy the quiet and calmness of his own Christmas.

Someone started to knock at the door, causing Robert to groan. He really didn’t want to deal with his family. He hoped it wasn’t any of them or the Dingles.

“Stay here,” he told the Rory and Ollie, Violet had fallen asleep on the floor, still holding her decapitated doll. He would have to watch out for her, maybe lock his door when she hit her teenage years.

Robert went and opened the door, surprised to see Aaron, Chas and Cain. They all had presents in their arms.

“What?” he asked shocked.

“I remember,” Aaron said quietly. “I had gotten all the kids presents a few months ago. I thought maybe they would like them. I know for sure that Rory would want to open this one at least.” Aaron gestured at a large gift in Cain’s arms.

“Come in,” Robert said.

They brought the gifts into he front room and Rory saw Aaron.

“Daddy,” he said and ran to Aaron, but Aaron stepped back.

“I’m sorry, Rory, but I’m still sick. Santa left some of your presents at Home Farm and I wanted to make sure you got them,” Aaron said, looking broken-hearted that he couldn’t hug Rory.

Rory nodded sadly but put on a brave face.

“I’ve never had so many presents in my life. I was never good enough for presents before, I was always naughty.”

It was a hit to the heart, the reminder of the abuse and neglect that Rory had gone through in his young life.

“No, you were always a good lad, sometimes Santa gets lost.”

This surprised them all, as it was Cain who said it. Robert wondered about his childhood, he knew Shadrach was a drunk but not much more, he had never cared.

“Open that one first, then I’ve got to go back to Home Farm and rest,” Aaron said to Rory.

Rory torn the wrapping off and there in all his glory was Baxter the Dinosaur.

“Santa did remember, Santa does think I’m good.”

Robert looked at Aaron and saw he was getting a little teary-eyed.

“Of course, he did,” Aaron said. “I’ve got to go know. I’ll come back when I’m not contagious.”

“What’s that mean?” Rory asked.

“It means you could get my sickness,” Aaron told him.

“But then we could be together again.”

“It’s not safe. You be good for Tata, alright?”

“Alright,” Rory said. “Can I go play with Baxter?”

“Go on, now. We’ll open the rest later,” Robert said.

“We’ll be out in the car,” Cain said.

After Cain and Chas, putting all the presents down, it was just Aaron and him.

“So, you remember everything?”

“Mostly, the last day is fuzzy.”

“How are you?”

“Don’t rightly know yet. I’ll let you know. I just need some time, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m here for you any time you want or need, you know that.”

“Always was, I know.”

Aaron left after that and Robert wondered if it was ever going to be anything but sad and depressing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter I'm going to start shifting to normalcy in the relationship. Aaron will still be himself so that will still be there of course, I just want to now get a little of evil Robert. So fun with Andy, Katie and some others are coming up. But never evil to Aaron. Also Katie won't die because I hated that SL.


	31. Pieces

_“Come out from under there and take your punishment.”_

_Aaron was hiding under his bed. He knew he was in real trouble once he heard his dad say that he was going to sort him out. Sandra was going to take the baby and leave, his dad refused to let that happen. That meant Aaron had to pay for being naughty. He had told him that if he didn’t start behaving, he knew what would happen. Up until that moment he had convinced himself it had been a terrible nightmare. Dads didn’t hurt their children._

_As his father pulled him screaming from under the bed, he knew what was going to happen. He started screaming Sandra’s name, it wasn’t like last time, they weren’t alone anymore in the house. His dad put his hand over his mouth._

_“Scream all you want; she took the baby to her sister’s for the weekend. Told me to sort you out before she comes home. How I do it is between just you and me, right? Not like anyone cares, not like anyone would believe you. They would know that you deserved it and just think about all your little mates finding out about it. Think about the names they would call you.”_

* * *

Aaron shot up, disoriented for a moment. He had to remember where he was and where he wasn’t. He wasn’t back in his bedroom with his dad. He wasn’t yelling for his stepmother to help him when she was far away. There was burning on his back from some sort of whip, but it was enough pain to clear his mind. He didn’t remember anything from after Alex taking the knock to the head. He was glad that his mum told him that Alex was alright.

He had talked to his mum about everything the doctor had told her. About the attack and assault. He didn’t remember it and was glad for it. There were too many memories of abuse, he didn’t need to add to it. He thought after Ivan/Keith’s attack meant that there was something about him that screamed victim. Now, he wasn’t sure why Bert picked him but knew it was the same reason his father and Keith tore him to pieces. They each took a piece of him that he was never going to get back, a jigsaw puzzle that would never be whole again. Now there were more pieces missing. There was a point that there wouldn’t be enough pieces to even get a clue of what he was supposed to be anymore.

He was tired, tired of being a victim and tired of feeling less than. If he couldn’t piece the puzzle back together to be what he was before he could make something new, stronger…someone that no one would think to hurt and abuse.

There was Robert and the kids, he would have to step up and get back on track. Rory, Ollie and Violet needed stability, not a dad that could barely get out of bed. He had one counselor before they moved that he really liked. He asked him once “Are you going to let your past dictate your happiness?” It had been when he was wavering on getting a surrogate. He was worried about what kind of father he would be. At the time it had made him angry, but it had been true then and was still true now. If he lost himself in pain, he would let monsters have a say in how he lives his life. He also knew what his new counselor would say that he was repressing, and it would not help him. But his counselor wasn’t here so she didn’t get a say until he told her.

First thing was first though, he needed to get rid of his mum. He loved her but she was a bit much. There was a time he wanted a mum to take care of him, but she was fourteen years too late to even try. A week was much too long to be dealing with her. Today he would be seeing his doctor and hopefully given permission to be around the kids and Robert again. He felt loads better except for his back and other parts.

His relationship with Robert had always been half fairytale and half nightmare. When he wanted to be, Robert could be charming, loving and make someone feel like they were the only one in the world. But it was the other times, the times were Robert was cold, distant and just mean. It had been years since Aaron had seen that face of Robert facing him, but he knew it was there. Which was why he had the house built. He didn’t worry about Robert leaving him because of the new attack, Robert had two weaknesses in him. One, he had to be the protector and make everything alright even when he was the problem, before they were together Aaron saw that. Two, Robert needed the perfect family and life façade to tell everyone that he had a better life than them. There was many things he loved about Robert but there were things that scared him about the man. Sometimes Robert got so set on revenge that he couldn’t think of anything else. You also couldn’t meet a more conceited bloke, but he was Aaron’s conceited bloke.

* * *

The kids were in bed and he was finally able to relax. It had been a week since Christmas, and he was expecting Aaron any moment. They had spoken earlier after Aaron’s doctor’s appointment. Aaron was given all clear to be around the kids again. Now that he remembered everyone, he wanted them to be a family again. He gave Aaron the decision for Home Farm or the cottage, Aaron chose the cottage.

He heard the door open and close quietly. He stayed where he was, waiting with bated breath for his husband to show his face. This was it; he would now know where he stood with Aaron.

The film The Night of the Hunter was playing but he had it on mute. He liked being able to listen for the kids when they were asleep just in case, they needed him.

“Why do you watch these depressing things?” Aaron asked as he sat down beside him.

“It’s not that bad.”

“The wife is murdered.”

“The kids live.”

“Silver-lining and all that, right?”

They had seen it together in their first flat. Aaron hated the whole thing and told Robert he couldn’t pick what they watched for a month.

“I like it, reminds me of simpler times.”

“Before money, kids and psychopaths?”

Robert turned off the film and faced Aaron. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, not really. I just want it to be over. Are you able to handle that?”

“That sounds like avoidance.”

“It’s what I want, can you deal?”

“I can deal with everything you throw at me. Haven’t I proved that yet?”

“There’s going to be a limit, Rob. I just need to know if it’s close.”

“When you stop coming back, I’ll give up.”

“Really?” Aaron asked.

“Never.”

Aaron cuddled into his side and Robert just let himself feel whole again, even if it was only for a moment.

They knew now about Albert Harvey aka The Madman of Saltburn. The police had found a few bodies of men that they could link together around Redcar and Cleveland in the past ten years. Two of the victims disappeared while visiting Saltburn-by-the-Sea so the killer had been given the name. Aaron had told Dr. Alex everything he found out from their kidnapper in case Aaron didn’t make it out alive. Alex had told the police, so they were working on it by the time Aaron remembered his abduction.

The police told him that Harvey had gotten out of a mental facility ten years ago. He was locked up after he murdered his best friend. He didn’t know everything yet but so far, he had heard Harvey was obsessed with the friend, but he didn’t return his feelings. Harvey had built some sort of relationship up in his head and when the friend started a relationship with another man, he killed him and made the new boyfriend watch. Harvey got out but stopped taking his meds and his delusions went from there. He saw Aaron and the kids on the beach and that was that. He knew that the police had told Aaron all of this so if Aaron didn’t want to talk about it, they wouldn’t.

A strange and weird thing was that the house Harvey kept Aaron in was the home of an elderly woman, who it seemed like Harvey killed for the home. But they also found skeletons buried in the garden of that home. They haven’t said as much but he had heard through rumors that the woman let homeless men stay with her, she would keep them in the old wine cellar they kept Aaron in, drain their benefits until someone started asking too many questions and she would kill them and start again. She just made the mistake when she took Albert Harvey in. Two serial killers in the same house, it’s like a horror film.

There was also their two other problems. Gordon hadn’t been back since he left for work months ago. Police think he ran, and Robert agreed, that’s what roaches do, run when the light is shined on them. Then there was Keith, while he pleaded guilty Robert hated that he was still alive. He didn’t deserve to breathe the same air as others. But if Aaron wanted to avoid what had happened to him, Robert would do that with him and when it finally gets too much and Aaron shatters, he’d be there to help put the pieces back together.


	32. Let the War Begin

_Aaron sat in the bland room with trepidation. Robert was meeting him there after he left the office. Starting your own enterprise was very taxing. Casey was taking care of Violet and Aaron felt like he was crawling out of his skin being away from her. She was only a few weeks old. It was insanity to be thinking about adopting two brothers right after Violet’s birth. But the brothers’ social worker thought they could really help them._

_Robert walked in the room looking as unconcerned as always. He was sure that Robert would look the same way facing a firing squad._

_“Alright?” Robert asked, taking the seat beside him._

_“Yeah, they should be bringing the boys soon.”_

_“What did Helen say?”_

_“Nothing more than what we read.”_

_“Are you sure you want to do this? No one would blame us for backing out. We have Violet.”_

_“Violet, who if I can help it won’t go through anything traumatic in her life. Then there’s the two of them who have been through a horror show, with abuse and neglect.” They only knew the bare minimum right now because they needed to know how to handle when the boys came in. Five-year-old Rory and one-year-old Ollie, in the photo the older boy looked so sad it broke his heart._

_After a few more minutes the door opened again, and Helen stepped in with a little dark-haired baby in her arms and a little boy with a head full of brown curls. The boy looked at Robert and hid behind Helen._

_“It’s alright, luv. This is Aaron and Robert, remember we talked about meeting them,” Helen told the boy._

_“Hello, Rory, I’m Aaron, this is Robert, he may be tall but he’s harmless, I promise.”_

_Thirty minutes later they were no further in getting Rory to open up. Robert had won Ollie over after a few minutes. He had the baby laughing and babbling trying to copy Robert. Helen said she had never seen the toddler take to anyone like he had Robert._

_“Rory, why don’t you show Aaron your drawings,” Helen said, opening her bag and pulling out some paper._

_Rory shook his head and looked down at his lap._

_“I’ve always been rotten at drawing,” Aaron said._

_“I draw really well,” Robert added._

_Aaron exaggeratedly rolled his eyes and Rory giggled. Bingo. “Robert is good at everything he does, even if he isn’t, he will say he is.”_

_Rory giggled again._

_“Hey, that’s not fair. I CAN juggle chickens, they do bite though,” Robert said, playing along._

_“What kind of farmboy are you? Chickens don’t bite, they peck,” Aaron said._

_“Next thing you’ll say is I shouldn’t have sheared the cows and milked the sheep.”_

_That was it, Rory lost it and started laughing uncontrollably. After that he started talking, not a lot but it was a wall broken down._

* * *

“Rory needs new trainers,” Aaron told Robert as they waited for Rory’s riding lesson to finish.

“I thought you just got him a pair.”

They were watching as Katie was teaching Rory to get Sunny to trot.

“He’s outgrown them.”

“Already?”

“He’s a growing boy.”

“Fine, I’ll take him tomorrow.”

“He looks good up there, more confident than his first few lessons,” Aaron said, waving at Rory when he saw them.

“For all Katie’s faults and they are numerous, she’s good at what she does.”

“Do you think you’re ever going to be able to let go of the animosity between you and Andy and Katie?”

“You know my reasons, don’t ask me to play happy families with them.”

“I wouldn’t think of it. But it’s a small village.”

“I’m alright with that.”

“DADDY! TATA! LOOK!”

Katie had stepped back and for the first time since he had started lessons Katie wasn’t holding the reins. Sunny was trotting in a large circle with Rory in control. Well as much control a tiny boy has over a huge animal. They smiled at their son and waited until he was finished with his lesson, cleaning and putting away tack. He couldn’t lift the saddle, but it didn’t stop him from trying.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Robert said, glaring at Katie while leading Rory back to their car.

“How’s he doing?” Aaron asked.

This was how it had to be done to stay civil. Robert always would wind her up and Katie couldn’t stop putting Robert down, it wasn’t good around Rory. So, every time after a lesson if Robert was there, he would take Rory away so Aaron could keep updated.

“He’s a natural. I suspect he’ll be showing me out soon.”

“I really appreciate you doing what you have for him. He deserves the best and I want to make sure he gets it.”

“I think it’s wonderful. I wish you would have chosen a better partner for this endeavor. Robert doesn’t know what loyalty is.”

“We’ve been over this; Robert and I aren’t up for discussion. How is everything going on at Wylies?”

“Good. Thank you for the chance. You’ll get your payment, I promise. Thanks for giving us a deal because of the flooring.”

“Robert was a hard sell on this, I’m sure you know. But never once did he ask me to gouge you on the interest. I get he hurt you, I really do. But maybe it’s time to just let it go.” He turned and left; he wasn’t going to argue with her.

* * *

Robert was finally back to work the way that he needed to be. It had been months of waiting for Aaron to break but it didn’t happen. In fact, he had never seen Aaron so together. He wasn’t disconnected or distant, he was just like he had been after they got married. Robert didn’t think they were out of the woods yet, but he was in uncharted territory here because Aaron was acting very un-Aaron-like.

When Aaron and Robert started sleeping together in the early days, Robert knew he had used Aaron. He regretted how he treated him then and tried to make up for it. After the unknown to him at the time, attack from Keith, it took months for him and Aaron to get even close to intimate again. After Aaron came back from the house of horrors before Christmas, he didn’t know where they stood in that department. He wouldn’t push for anything Aaron wasn’t ready for and knew how hurt Aaron had been.

But as soon as Aaron’s doctor gave him the go ahead to resume their sex life, Aaron did and with enthusiasm. Robert was unsure what was going on, but he wasn’t about to turn Aaron down. Actually, the first night that’s what he tried to do, and Aaron did things he had never done before, it was good. Robert was torn between worried and turned on, so he decided just to go with it. He didn’t want Aaron to think he didn’t desire him anymore, which he seemed to think that first night, so Robert had to prove how much he did.

“Robert, there are some people out here wanting to speak to you,” Jenna, his receptionist said over intercom.

“I’ll be right out.”

He stood up and made sure he was presentable just in case it was this was a new client. There was two men with cheap suits and briefcases waiting for him at the front desk.

“I’m Robert Sugden, how can I help you?”

“Mr. Sugden, we’re here on behalf of Andrew and Katherine Sugden.”

“Alright…I’m not sure what’s going on.”

“Mrs. Sugden was clearing out a room in the estate referred to as Wylies Farm. Mrs. Sugden almost fell through the dilapidated flooring.”

“We told them the flooring was bad, we had inspectors out, we even cut the price because of it. They knew that and bought the property as is for a song, I might add because of the land. Is Katie alright?” Might as well pretend to care. He hadn’t heard of her being hurt, no one had rung and if they had time to get solicitors then it had to have been a least a few days. Probably just after Rory’s last lesson.

“Mrs. Sugden is physically fine, but she has been emotionally scarred from this negligent act.”

Robert knew a shakedown when he heard one. “Thank you, I’ll have my solicitor contact you.” He turned around and left. He was sure that Jenna had their business card. He hadn’t been served so he knew even the solicitors knew they didn’t have a case. They were just hoping that Robert would be too scared and give them a payout. They didn’t know who they were messing with but Andy and Katie should know better.


	33. Bad Day

Robert decided to go against his solicitor’s suggestion and headed straight for Wylies after work. He didn’t even want to sell that stupid farm to them but gave in because Aaron thought Andy’s kids deserved a stable future. He hadn’t told Aaron what was happening, it would break his heart. Katie being his mum’s best friend and Andy being the father of Debbie’s kids. He just didn’t understand what Andy and Katie were thinking? Robert made sure that everything was in order when he sold it to them. He even made sure they knew fully about the bad flooring because he was worried about the kids helping out.

As he pulled up to the farm, he saw Andy working on something outside the farmhouse.

Andy watched him as he got out of this car and walked over to him.

“What the hell, Andy? I give you a huge cut on this place and you try and sue me? You know what we’ve been through and you want to put Aaron through this? We made sure you were aware of the flooring, our inspector and yours both let you know about it.”

“What are you on about Robert?”

“Why are you suing me?”

“I’m not suing you. Why would I sue you?”

“I’ve got no idea why you would. The ambulance chasers who visited my office didn’t tell me much, just that you two are going to sue us because Katie almost fell.”

“She did almost fall but we’re not going to sue. I mean, we knew what we were getting into.”

“Then why did I have Frick and Frack at my office today?”

Just then Katie came outside of the farmhouse. She was wearing clothes covered in dust and grim, they were cleaning it seemed.

“What are you doing here, Robert?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be,” he said looking at the dirty farmhouse. “Why did you set those lawyers on us? It’ll never hold up, you bought as is and the farmhouse, barn and grounds were inspected. You didn’t go into this blind.”

“What’s he talking about, Katie?” Andy asked her. Andy wasn’t a good actor, that meant whatever Katie did was without her husband’s knowledge, he’d do some damage to the prefect little family with this.

“I wasn’t going to sue; I just went to a solicitor with some questions. He thought that Robert was negligent in selling the farm to us in this condition.”

Robert couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“That’s exactly how we were able to afford this place. If he fixed it up, it would go for three times what we paid for it,” Andy said.

“More than that,” Robert said through gritted teeth.

“I was just seeing what the solicitor said. We don’t have the money to fix this place up and he has more than enough. He owns Home Farm and the Whiteley farm, it wouldn’t hurt him to help us.”

Katie had never been a schemer really and it showed. The biggest he thought was running around behind Andy’s back with him. But he didn’t really know what she got up to while he was gone and didn’t want to know.

“Your suit is stupid, and your solicitors knew it didn’t have a chance which is why they tried to get a payout. Now, if this were just against me, I would take you all down but it’s not. You didn’t just try and sue me, you tried to sue Aaron who has been through more than you can dream. Call your dogs off and we’ll call it done.”

“Yes, no problem. We’re really grateful for this chance. I’m sorry,” Andy said.

“Good. But one more thing. Katie, you’re fired. I don’t want my son anywhere near you and your toxic gob.”

He left while he still had to moral high ground, at least right now. Step one was already done, he had suspected Andy had no idea what was going on, he was a dolt after all. Now it would be easier for his brother to see what kind of woman he married…again.

* * *

He had gotten a text from Aaron to met him at Home Farm. After his awful day all he wanted to do was relax. He hoped there wasn’t anything important he had to do.

The door was unlocked so he just walked in.

“Aaron!” he called to him.

“He’s not back yet.”

Robert jumped slightly at the stranger’s voice. He looked around and found a bloke around Aaron’s age sitting on the sofa.

“Who are you?” Robert asked. The man was acting pretty casual if he was planning to rob them.

“Steven.”

“Better question. What are you doing here?”

“Aaron told me to just come in and wait, he said he should be here soon.”

“That doesn’t explain what you are doing here.”

“He said it was a surprise for you, I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Tell me now or I’ll toss you out on your ear.”

“He wanted to surprise you with a third.”

Robert was shocked silent by this. Before he had got together with Aaron, he had done many things with lots of people. A Ménage à trois wasn’t something that off the wall to him but it was something he knew for a fact Aaron wouldn’t like. At least he thought he knew it for a fact.

“Listen, I don’t know what my husband told you but there will be no threesome here. Please leave and don’t come back.”

“God, there’s always one prima donna. I’m gone. He was much more fun than you.”

The bloke left but Robert didn’t care, he didn’t think he could feel his legs anymore. “He was much more fun than you.” What did that mean? Had Aaron slept with him? He knew Aaron had been a little off, but this was something else. Aaron had refused to go back to his counselor, telling him that he didn’t need it. Robert tried to argue but Aaron just laughed and started talking a little out of his head. He thought that Aaron just needed time, he thought that Aaron would fall back into his usual ways of dealing with unimaginable pain. But he hadn’t, Robert had looked, there were no new cuts, burns or anything. What was going on with Aaron?

The door opened and Aaron walked looking petulant, a look that he hadn’t seen on him before.

“Why’d you send him away?”

“You don’t take your shirt off unless it’s in the dark.”

Aaron glared at him. “Where are you going with this?”

“A third, really? This isn’t normal behavior for you.”

“What’s normal?”

“Did you have sex with that bloke?” Robert asked the question he had been wondering about.

“That bloke? The one that left?”

“Yes. Him.”

“No, not him.”

“Aaron, have you been cheating on me?”

“Of course not.”

“So, you have slept with anyone else?”

“No. But I do think we should be open to the idea.”

Now that he knew Aaron hadn’t been cheating on him, he could breathe. This must have been what his exes felt like, he didn’t like it.

“No.”

“What? Why not?”

“First, I don’t think it would be healthy for us. Second, I really don’t want it.”

“Oh.” He looked so disappointed it confused Robert.

“I don’t understand what’s going on. Last time you were attacked you didn’t want to be touched for months. Years later you still went through times you couldn’t be touched.”

“Why are you bringing that up?”

“Because you were raped Aaron. I know you are avoiding it and blocking it out but that’s what happened. The marks on your back aren’t from an accident, they are from the psycho that abducted you, marked your back and raped you, in the end you had to kill him to save yourself and Alex. Denying any of it happened isn’t healthy.”

“Are you hungry? I think we should go to the pub.”

“We’re not going anywhere until you admit what happened to you.”

Aaron’s eyes flashed and Robert knew he had overstepped some invisible line.

“Do you honestly think I don’t know what happened? Forgive me for trying to get over it in my own way.”

“Get over it? Do you hear yourself. Last time-

“This isn’t last time. I don’t remember it this time.”

“But it doesn’t change it.”

“How many times have you been raped?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Didn’t answer the question.”

“None.”

“So, what makes you the expert in it?”

“I never claimed to be an expert in it, but I am an expert in you, and this isn’t you.”

“I can’t control it,” Aaron said quietly.

“What?”

“I can’t control it. I tried; I really did. When I started having these urges to have sex before I even healed, I went to my counselor. I’ve never felt this way before, even when I was a hormonal teenager.”

“You said you weren’t going to go.”

“You started asking after I had already been.”

“What did she say?”

“Hypersexuality caused by sexual trauma exacerbated by childhood sexual abuse. There was also loads of other big words I didn’t really listen. She also mentioned that she thought we should go into couples counselling to keep communication open and some other junk.”

“Be honest with me. Have you slept with anyone else?”

“No but I almost did. It’s like my brain and body are at war with each other. Before when I cut, everything got quiet and I could focus. But now that happens with sex and add pleasure to that, it’s addicting. The endorphins released from one sexual act outnumber cutting.”

Robert felt sick this wasn’t like Aaron. Aaron always liked sex; in fact, they had an incredibly good sex life. But this wasn’t Aaron, at least not his Aaron.

“Are you willing to get help?”

“I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

“You always have a choice with me, but I would like you to get help.”

“Alright. Did you realize we’re alone right now?”

“I did but we have to start collecting kids soon.”

Now knowing what Aaron’s counselor thought, it made him extremely uncomfortable to give in to him. But on the other hand, until he started getting help, he worried that Aaron would get his needs met elsewhere. He would make an appointment in the morning, there was no way he was sitting on this, Aaron over does everything. If he waited, he would walk in on an orgy by end of the week. He would wait to tell him about firing Katie, he also wondered if the next step in his plan landed yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did look up hypersexuailty from trauma and it does exist, more than you would think. I based this action on a real person I know, but I don't know all their past or dx, so that I just had to make up so it's not all going to be right. I hope I don't offend anyone. As for the Katie thing, it might get a little sticky. Hope everyone still enjoys the story.


	34. Brothers

“What did you think of him?” Robert asked as they left Aaron’s first appointment with his new counselor.

So far Aaron had gotten a new counselor, one that specialized in his type of trauma. Dr. Bakshi had glowing reports and Robert was happy that Aaron was open to switching doctors. He had nothing against Aaron’s old one, but Aaron didn’t feel comfortable any longer with her even though he didn’t tell Robert why.

“He’s ok, I guess. Old, reminds me of a teacher I had in sixth form.”

Aaron didn’t usually talk about his schooling, after his dad kicked him out and he moved in with his mum and it ended there. Aaron wasn’t dumb, far from it but you can’t tell him that. When someone thinks something of themself, sometimes not even an act of God will change it.

“Are you going to be alright for the couples counseling tomorrow?”

“Feeling a bit drained today but yeah, should be fine by tomorrow.”

“I need to talk about something, but I don’t know how you’ll take it.”

They got into Robert’s car and left the car lot, heading back to the village.

“If it’s another counselor just kill me now.”

“No. I fired Katie.”

“Alright.”

Robert looked over at Aaron, shock at his casualness. Aaron had been for hiring Katie and selling Wylies to her and Andy. Now he didn’t seem to care that he fired her?”

“Don’t you want to know why?”

“Not really.”

It had been like this since after Christmas. Aaron was perfectly indifferent about everything. The last thing he seemed to care about familywise was the kids Christmas. The only thing Aaron was not indifferent about lately was sex, and Robert didn’t know what to do. If he turns Aaron away, he could feel even worse about himself and maybe also look elsewhere. But their normal passionate sex life was a thing of the past. It was getting more wrong to him. Aaron had started to want pain and that was not something Robert was comfortable with. That wasn’t even the thing that shocked him the most, he had asked Robert to help him recreate one of his attacks. Robert told him no and he slept on the couch that night. The next day he looked it up, the compulsion to repeat one’s trauma. He was so out of his depths with Aaron and felt like he was losing it all.

“Where’d you go?” Aaron asked, bringing him out of this thought.

“Huh?”

“You asked me if I wanted to know why you fired Katie and I said no, then you got quiet.”

“I miss you,” he blurted out.

“What? I’m right here.”

“No, you didn’t come back from that house.” As he said the words, he knew they were true.

Aaron’s sexual needs have become something that scared Robert. Aaron’s relationship with everyone else, kids included, had taken a hit. Robert believed that it all stemmed from him not being able to remember his attack. Because of that he was trying to use Robert as a proxy recreate one that he did, and it was very wrong. Aaron knew what it was like to be hurt by someone he loved and trusted in the most heinous way possible and now he was trying to recreate the same betrayal and it wasn’t going to happen.

“What does that mean?” he asked defensively.

“You’re different, the two biggest things I don’t understand is how I’m supposed to help you with intimacy when the things you want make me extremely uncomfortable. But I can almost deal with that, I’m an adult. What I don’t understand is the kids.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re distant with them and won’t even give them a cuddle or play with them anymore. I think the most I’ve seen you with them is taking Rory to his riding lessons. This is hurting them; they don’t understand it and neither do I.”

He thought Aaron would defend himself or at least tell him why, but he was quiet the rest of the trip. The drive home was awkward, and he just didn’t know what to do anymore. For the first time since he declared his love for Aaron all those years ago, he started to think it would be kinder to him to let him go.

* * *

She knew he was cross with her but if she could get him to listen to her, he would understand. None of what she did was supposed to hurt Aaron, she never wanted to hurt him. Not only was he her best mate’s son but he had been through more than any person should ever live through. All she wanted was to make Robert pay, she wouldn’t have put it past him to weaken the flooring. Well, she knew that wasn’t true she just hated how he had everyone snowed under. He’d even won over Chas who thinks he’s the best person for her son. Robert was going to break Aaron and those kids’ hearts; she didn’t want that to happen. She wanted everyone to see him for the manipulator he still was.

“Andy, please stay,” she cried.

“I’m going to stay with Diane for a few days. I’ll still be around to work on the farm, but I can’t sleep with you. I wasn’t a fan of him before he ran off, but he doesn’t deserve what happened to him.”

“I know, it wasn’t about Aaron.”

“They’re married, Katie.”

“For how long? You know just as well as I do Robert can’t be faithful.”

“How long are you going to harp on about this? Robert’s life is none of your business. Let it go.”

No one was listening to her about how bad Robert was, he needed to leave and for good this time.

“I’m sorry, I really am. Tell me what to do to make this up to you?”

“Just stop this rivalry with Robert, because while Robert is more than capable of defending himself, it’s not just him you are hurting, it’s Aaron and those three innocent kids.”

“I will I promise,” she said. She knew all she had to do was bide her time before Robert started showing his true colours to everyone again. 

* * *

Aaron knew he had freaked out Robert with the bloke yesterday. He knew it was a bit much to ask but he thought Robert would be into it. Afterall, Robert had an exceptionally large sexual history and Aaron’s was just Robert.

Robert was supposed to have taken the kids to Diane’s tonight and Aaron decided to pass. He had plans of his own and he thought it was best to keep it quiet, Robert would get his nose out of joint about it. Especially after all the talk he did when they left his counselor’s this morning.

* * *

The kids were having a grand time playing with their toys. Andy was staying at Diane’s, so he had Sarah and Jack with him.

“Why do you have a face like a wet weekend?” Diane asked.

“Just thinking.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“I’d rather not talk about it,” he said.

Just at that moment Robert came in with his three. Violet saw Jack and Sarah and started to wiggle to get out of Robert’s arms. Robert sat her down on her feet and she toddled to Jack, grabbing the toy he was playing with. Instead of getting upset Jack started to hand her more toys he had.

“Didn’t expect you here,” Andy said to Robert.

“I was invited.”

“Didn’t say you weren’t. Look, I’m really sorry about what Katie did. I had no idea what she was doing.”

“Didn’t think you did but I can’t let her hurt my family.” Andy smiled. “What?”

“My little brother is growing up.”

“Only by three months. Quit acting like you’re the oldest, it doesn’t count,” Robert sniped.

He heard giggling and saw Rory laughing at him, Diane too.

“Still acting like children,” Diane said with a smile.

“Katie’s not going to show up, is she?” Robert asked, hoping that he wouldn’t have to explain to Rory why he couldn’t continue his lessons with her.

“If she knows what’s best for her. I told her I needed time. She shouldn’t have done what she did. She’s just so set on you, I told her she needed to get over this obsession with you. I feel like if I don’t watch out, she’s going to find herself in your bed again.” This time there was a hint of anger to Andy’s voice. Robert never blamed him for being angry, in fact he felt bad about it, not that he would say it. He had loved Katie and maybe that’s why there was so much animosity between them.

“I’m really not trying to cause trouble between you two. I just want to live my life with my husband and my children. After everything that’s happened with Aaron, I don’t think that is too much to ask.”

“It’s not. I can’t believe she would do that after Aaron’s…attack,” Andy said uncomfortably.

“Shh…little ears,” Robert said, nodding to Rory.

“Soz.”

“I do need to let you know that I took a partner on for Home Farm. Because we don’t live there it’s letting the house languish. Also, my business is extremely busy, so I had someone buy half of Home Farm to run that part of it.”

“Why are you telling me?”

Robert kept his face blank as he told Andy who. “Sadie King.”

Andy frowned. “And this has nothing to do with that you cheating on Katie with her? That seeing her will put Katie on the warpath. What do you think this is going to do to Aaron?”

He had thought about that and even tried to bring it up, but Aaron had been uninterested. He really didn’t think Aaron would care, this war was between him and Katie and him and Katie alone. Sadie King had been ecstatic when he brought up the business opportunity. He just hoped that the Dingles got over their little riff with her because she was here to stay. Beside him and Nicola, who was insane, Sadie was the most business minded people he knew. And yes, it was going to drive Katie crazy.


	35. Over?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate me for this chapter, please.

Aaron sat in the office of the couple’s counselor, she wasn’t a regular one. She was one that specialized when one or both people have been through traumatic events. She seemed nice enough and the office was calming. It had rich burgundy furniture and dark yellow walls. He wouldn’t have thought it would look good together, but it felt serene. He wondered if he could get her decorator’s number, maybe they could fix the feel of Home Farm.

“Aaron, are you listening to Robert?” Dr. Hill asked.

“Of course,” he lied; he hadn’t been.

“Well, can you answer him?” she asked.

“Alright, maybe I did space out for a moment.” He turned towards Robert who looked annoyed. “What was it?”

“Where were you last night?”

“What does it matter?”

“Because you haven’t been acting like yourself.”

“Can I stop you there, Robert. We don’t want to blame or point fingers. This is about opening up communication, accusations usually close people off,” she said.

“I was out with a mate,” Aaron said slowly.

“Who?” Robert asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Finn Barton.”

“Finn? Why?”

“We’re mates.”

Robert’s eyes narrowed but he didn’t ask any more questions about it. The rest of the session was tension filled and not really what Aaron thought it would be like.

Once they left, he could tell that Robert was working up to say something, but he didn’t know what.

“I was thinking tonight after we put the kids to bed, we could watch a movie like old times.”

“I’m busy tonight.”

“Again?”

“Yeah.”

“With Finn again?”

“No, another mate.”

“Who this time?”

“What’s with all the questions? Do you not trust me?”

Robert sighed. “Of course, I do. Let’s just go home.”

Aaron had noticed Robert didn’t ask or want to talk about anything very personal. Robert didn’t really get what therapy was, but it was alright. There needed to be one person who didn’t have to run every move they make past their counselor in a relationship.

* * *

After Aaron left, Robert dropped the kids off with Vic. He had asked her to watch the kids because he had a late-night errand to run, he didn’t tell her what. Telling your little sister, you were going to spy on your husband seemed petty and controlling.

Aaron’s car was easy to find, it was in front of a flat in Hotten. There was a GPS in Aaron’s car that he had enabled because of Aaron’s abduction, he just wanted to make sure he was alright. He was thinking about just knocking on the door when he saw Aaron through the window. He was laughing and speaking to someone out of view. After a few moments, the other person came into view, it was a bloke quite a bit bigger than Aaron. He was laughing too, and Robert felt his face get hot. What was going on here? He shook his head, he knew what was going on, his husband was cheating on him. Suddenly Aaron dropped down to his knees out of sight. Someone else came in to view and closed the curtains. So, he was right about the orgy. Robert left; his marriage was over anyway.

* * *

Aaron picked up his mobile that he accidently dropped, he was glad it didn’t crack. He had one shatter months ago because Ollie dropped it on the kitchen floor at Home Farm.

Lewis closed the curtain. “Just in case someone is watching.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. Who would care about what they were doing?

“I’m so happy you came,” Heidi said, coming over to give him a hug.

“Me too.”

As he was trying to get his memory about his attack, because it was causing issues with his husband, he decided to visit memory lane. He rang up his old mates, the ones that he was always getting into trouble with. He grew up and hoped they had too, they did. Lewis and Heidi, most likely to get arrested together, had gotten married and had a few kids. Mike or as they used to refer to him Goliath was in school to be a doctor. That was so strange to him. Then there was the twins, Billy and Dylan. Billy was apparently now in Australia with his new wife and a baby on the way. Dylan, unlike his brother was there and quiet as always.

“This feels like old times. Want to go break some windows?” Heidi asked.

They all laughed even Dylan who was rarely with them, his twin Billy on the other hand was always in the thick of it.

“Feels like a million years ago,” Aaron said.

“I know, I used to be able to fit my arse into miniskirts,” Heidi said. She was bigger than she had been but the last time he saw her she was sixteen and hadn’t given birth to two children, it wasn’t a shock.

“I thought we all would end up in young offenders, I still can’t believe we didn’t,” Goliath said.

“Only Steel,” Dylan said quietly.

It was true, the guilt Aaron felt from Steel, Marcus Steeler, getting busted was deep. It hadn’t been his idea to break into the building, it was Billy’s, but he went along with it. An alarm went off as soon as they broke the window and they legged it seven different directions, Dylan had been with them that time. Aaron ran home as fast as he could and snuck back in, his dad and stepmum hadn’t noticed he was gone. Next day they found out that Steel had been caught by a cop that was close to the building. He was only supposed to do three months in young offenders. Aaron had already been kicked out by the time Steel got out, last he heard, Steel was lost into his life of crime now with a severe drug addiction.

“Has anyone heard from Steel lately?” he asked.

“You’re never going to believe this; he’s living in Leeds with his boyfriend. I had no idea Steel was a poof,” Lewis said.

Aaron looked down at his fingernails and started to pick at his thumbnail. He had hoped with age they had changed their way of thinking. He shouldn’t be surprised though because since they were eleven, he had been feeding this fire of homophobia. Their hatred of gays had a lot to do with him.

“God could you sound anymore like a knobhead?” Goliath said, shaking his head.

“What?” Lewis asked.

“We’re not stupid kids anymore. It wasn’t right then and it’s not right now,” Goliath said.

“What are you on about? I didn’t say anything was wrong with it. I’m not the one that went out hunting for gays to batter,” Lewis said, finally looking at Aaron.

It was true, anyone he thought was gay or if they even were a little effeminate, he would make their life hell. At the time he was trying to prove to himself he wasn’t gay, that his father didn’t ruin him.

“I regret all of it,” Aaron said. He wished they were still laughing about Heidi’s trial run at being emo, she was just too cheery.

“You really were kind of intense about the whole thing,” Heidi said.

It was better to get this over with now. “I was trying to make myself straight.”

Three sets of eyes widened but it was the gasp from Dylan that had his attention. There was a reason he hadn’t been close to Dylan during their teen years. Dylan knew his secret, not the gay one, the one that put his life on a different course. At one time Dylan had been his best friend, they were young, so very young. Dylan was more sensitive than his twin Billy. Dylan and Billy lived two houses over from him and his dad when he was eight.

He went to school the next day, in pain and walking badly. Dylan had asked him what was wrong, it was the only time that Aaron told anyone until he told Robert.

_Aaron could see Dylan waiting for him outside his house. They always walked to school together, but Aaron knew he’d never be able to keep up. But he couldn’t skive off school, his dad would punish him again. Slowly, he made his way out the door and headed for Dylan._

_“Are you sick?” Dylan asked after a few steps._

_“No, I fell.” It seemed like a good excuse. He couldn’t let his mates know what happened, his dad had told him no one would believe him. It was all so confusing in the light of day, nothing his dad said made sense to him. He hoped his mum rang soon, maybe she would come and get him._

_“I heard you last night,” Dylan said quietly._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I heard you screaming, my mum just turned her tele up when I told her. What happened?”_

_They had heard, they had heard and there was no rescue. Nothing like on the tele when the police rush in a save people. They had heard and just drowned him out with noise. How many others sat in their homes the night before and turned up their teles to block out his screaming?_

_“I’m not supposed to tell,” he said before continuing on his way to school._

Aaron remembered; it was later that day he told Dylan what happened. Not in great detail but what he understood as happening to him as an eight-year-old. Dylan told him that he would go with him to tell Mrs. Pearse, the headmaster of the school. Aaron told him if he breathed a word to anyone, he would bash his head in. That was the birth of Aaron Livesy, the bully. The scared little boy that didn’t want anyone to know about what happened to him, it was too late anyway.

“You’re gay?” Lewis asked, eyes like saucers.

“I am.”

“Are you with anyone?” Heidi asked giddily. He rolled his eyes; it was a very Heidi response.

“I am married, have three kids too.”

“Wow, who carried the babies?” Lewis asked and it was like old times but not. He was no longer terrified of them finding out about him, they still joked with him. He wondered what would have happened if he had told them years ago when he was just a stupid kid.

Soon Heidi and Lewis were too pissed to talk full sentences and Goliath had to leave because he had to get sleep. That left only Dylan and Aaron to clean up and put the giggling married couple to bed. They were lucky their kids were with their grandparents for the night.

Aaron had the kitchen almost cleaned when Dylan came up behind him.

“They don’t know about your abduction,” Dylan said.

Aaron froze, he didn’t know anyone outside of the village knew.

“How?”

“Let me introduce myself. Hello, I’m PC Hunt.”

“Figures. You’re not going to tell them, are you?” His abduction was public but not many people paid attention to him and after he was found and everyone found out about two serial killers, it was wild. Because of his abuse his name was wiped from everything public. Maybe someone could figure it out but so far no one cared that much.

“I wouldn’t do that. I wasn’t even going to show up tonight, but they said you were going to be here. You’re the reason I became a cop, you know.”

“What? Because of all the trouble I caused?”

“No, because I couldn’t help you when you needed it. I didn’t want to let anyone else down.”

Aaron ignored the hint of Dylan remembering his past. He decided to change the subject as he finished cleaning.

“Married? Kids?”

“Me? No, I’m too young to settle down. My girlfriend’s been pushing the marriage thing though.”

“You should try it, it’s good to always have someone.”

“I’ll think about it, she’s a bit scary though.”

“The good ones are. I’m going to head out, I think I owe my husband an apology.”

“Sure, go ahead, I’ll finish this and head out.”

Aaron hadn’t drank so he drove home with a clear mind. He never wanted to accidently tell people about his life. Guilt about how he had been acting towards Robert and the kids was eating at him. How do you explain that you don’t want to contaminate your children with your filth? That they are sweet and innocent, and he doesn’t want anything dirty to touch them, and since that was him, he couldn’t hug them. There had been a lot of work on his part before they went through surrogacy and the adoption. He still had issues, but he thought he was doing well. That was until Bert, if he got near his kids it was like Bert was near then, he couldn’t let that happen. He’d have to explain it to Robert, he knew what he thought wasn’t right in his head but it’s hard to make himself believe that.

He also knew that he had been pushing Robert in the bedroom. Robert had been horrified so Aaron had been doing his best to try and remember. He couldn’t explain why he wanted it that way but knew he would lose his husband if he kept it up. Because of that he found another outlet, his new counselor was less than pleased with it but at least understood. His last one told him that him that he should open his marriage up, that only having Robert as a sexual partner had drastically changed what he thought about sex and intimacy. At first it made sense but when he asked Robert about it, he made him see it for what it was…cheating. He had guilt about bringing the guy into Home Farm.

Then there was his little side mission. Something that kept his mind off his own life. He had found out that Finn had a crush on Robert. He thought it was cute and went to talk to Finn. Finn was very embarrassed to be found out. Turns out Finn is pretty socially awkward and asked Aaron to help him find someone. It was the first time in a while Aaron felt normal. They went to a gay bar and Aaron watched as Finn _almost_ chatted a bloke up. He thought about asking Robert to go with them, but Robert had an issue with gay bars and also once anyone sees Robert, everyone else just fades to the background. He had it bad for his husband, he had been so stupid for the last few weeks. He needed to tell Robert what was going on in his head, he would understand, he always did.

Aaron pulled up at home and was shocked to see the lights still on. That was good, he would be able to get everything said tonight.

His jaw dropped as he walked in, everything was a mess and music was playing loudly. Robert was throwing things into bags; he seemed a bit unsteady on his feet. Aaron turned the music down.

“What’s going on Robert?” he asked.

“I’m packing your stuff.” He waved at the clothes in the suitcases on the sofa, he could see they were his clothes.

“Why?”

“I want you gone.”

“What? I don’t understand.”

“You can’t go to Home Farm either, Sadie King lives there now. I don’t care where you go you just have to leave.”

“What did I do?” he asked brokenly because he knew without a doubt it was him.

“I followed you. I saw you tonight with…them,” he said with disgust.

Oh god, he found out about Aaron’s past. Robert could take Aaron being a victim but now he found out about his mates and somehow found out about all the trouble they caused.

Aaron nodded. “I’ll leave.”

“And don’t even thing about getting the kids. They stay here, you’re not to see them.”

Aaron nodded again; it was what he deserved. He wasn’t the innocent person Robert had thought he was, he had lied. It wasn’t an outright lie but by omission.

“I don’t what my children to even remember your name,” Robert said.

Aaron nodded for a final time before turning around and leaving, he was sure Robert would get his stuff to him but really, he could burn them for all he cared. His life was over, really and truly over.

* * *

Robert woke up with a killer hangover. Looking around he saw what a mess he made. He remembered kicking Aaron out for cheating. Now that the red haze from his anger had faded, he just felt deflated. He couldn’t let his marriage end over this. It always hurt him when no one could forgive his own indiscretions. It figured, the one person he never cheated on when and cheated on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No one was cheated on, just a horrible misunderstanding. Please don't hate me because I can totally see Robert doing this in the heat of the moment just to sober up and change his mind.


	36. Misunderstandings

Aaron sat in his car trying to decide his next move. Showing up at the pub and telling his mum his failures, would be too humiliating. He was mates with Finn, but he lived with his brothers. There was also his Uncle Zak’s, but Robert had forbidden him from seeing the kids and Rory would be dropped off there in the morning. He could go into town and get a hotel room or go to the B&B. The Grange was out because if he went knocking on their door this time of night, Val would chase him off with Eric following. No, that was not a good choice. He didn’t have a good relationship with Cain, so showing up at the farm where he lived with Moira and family wasn’t an option. Thinking back, he realized he just didn’t have a good relationship with anyone in the village, not even his own mum.

Now Robert was going to take his children away from him. The more he thought about it the more it angered him. Robert’s done worse than him. Yeah Aaron was a hoodlum when he was younger but there was no one in the village who Robert didn’t betray. The anger fled as soon as it arrived, and he just felt empty.

Aaron drove around and finally just found a random car park to park and fell asleep.

_“Hey, kid, get in there now,” Roy said._

_Aaron rolled his eyes; this was so stupid. He wouldn’t admit he was getting scared, never show fear. It was his first lesson working for Gary, that and don’t get caught. He was a risk now and risks needed to be dealt with. He didn’t think they would kill him; they usually didn’t go through the trouble of hiding people they just planned on offing at least he didn’t think they did._

_“Where’s Gary?” he asked Roy, the giant that was guarding him._

_“Gary’s going to be awhile, we might as well have some fun.”_

_Aaron tried not to vomit in his mouth at Roy’s lecherous tone, just the thought of the disgusting man touching him made him sick. He had always been creepy to Gary’s runners, but this was the first time Aaron was alone with him. He did know Freddy, one of the other runners, told him not to take anything from Roy, it always came with a price._

_“Roy, I’m not gay,” he said, trying to push Roy away. Roy had at least seven stone on him._

_“You don’t have to be. Afterall, we’re mates right?”_

_“No, we’re not.”_

_“You should think about that again. Gary wants you gone, and if someone doesn’t step in, you’ll be dead by morning.”_

_It didn’t make any sense to him; he just ran drugs from point A to B. He didn’t sell them or take them, why kill him? Because he knew Gary sold drugs from his club? Everyone knew that. They even had cops on the payroll. He wouldn’t grass on anyone, especially someone who would kill him just to wash his hands of him._

_“I think I’ll take my chances with Gary.”_

_“Get in there or there will be nothing left of you when he gets back.”_

_Aaron looked into room that Roy was pointing. It was just a simple bedroom, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get out of any of the windows. Not that he had any place to run if he did get away. Maybe if he told his dad he was sorry he wouldn’t be punished. He would tell Sandra he was sorry; it wasn’t her that he wanted to hit after all._

_He sat on the bed and hoped that Gary would get back soon. While he wasn’t close to Gary, the older man at least treated him like an adult not some stupid kid. Roy didn’t leave like he hoped he would, instead he shut the door leaving them both inside the bedroom. Aaron started to get even more uneasy._

_“You know, first time I saw you I knew you were special,” Roy said._

_Aaron jumped up to fight but instinctively dropped to the ground to crawl between Roy’s legs, in hopes to get to the door. He didn’t make it, Roy turned and grabbed him by his arm, pulling him up. He could smell the cigarette smoke clinging to Roy’s clothes and breath._

_“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, which is it?”_

_He had been able to get away from his dad, but Sandra had been home, a change from the other times. He didn’t think Roy was scared about anyone in the house finding out. Aaron stopped fighting and looked at Roy with trepidation._

_“I don’t want this. If Gary is going to kill me, I don’t want this to be one of my last memories.”_

_“You don’t get a choice.”_

_Roy made the mistake by pushing Aaron away slightly to get a better look at him. Aaron kneed him hard and Roy went down. He ran for the door, but it was locked, he unlocked it and ran out. Before he could get very far, another one of Gary’s men stopped him._

_“Where do you think you’re going?”_

_If he told the truth the bloke would either take him back or not believe him, if Gary wanted him dead there was no issue to him either way._

_“I just wanted some fresh air,” he lied._

_“Are you high?” the bloke looked at him with suspicion._

_“No.”_

_“Alright. Where’s Roy?”_

_“I think he’s having issues with his bollocks.”_

_The bloke rolled his eyes. “Fine, let me check on him then we’ll get you some air, princess.”_

_Aaron had to bite his lip to keep from talking back to him. He had to remind himself these weren’t people you talked back. This was real and he was truly screwed if he didn’t keep his gob shut._

_He heard groaning from the hall and saw Roy walking out of the room with a slight limp, he should have tried harder._

_The other bloke grabbed him by the back of the neck and lead him to the balcony. It was over if he went back into that house with Roy unless Gary came back to kill him first. Roy and the other one wandered back in through the open door. He heard his name called and looked around; he saw his mum._

_When they got back to his Uncle Zak’s Lisa asked if they hurt him. Almost wasn’t an answer and you just don’t tell people about that sort of stuff anyway. You learn to deal with it and go on, it’s not like anything happened anyway._

* * *

Robert picked the kids up from Vic’s and went around and dropped them all off where they needed to go. He called his PA and told her that he would taking the day off and to reschedule any appointments he had. He needed to find his husband and see if their marriage was worth salvaging. Last night the things he said, were cruel. He knew it was a mistake when he said them but was too angry to stop himself.

Bracing himself before he stepped foot in the pub, he didn’t want Chas to attack him as soon as he walked in.

“Hiya, what can I get you?” Chas asked cheerily. Aaron hadn’t come here and told her; Robert wouldn’t have his bollocks attached anymore if he did.

“Nothing, have you seen Aaron?”

“No, he’s not been around in days. What did you do?”

While it was a fair question, it still annoyed him. “Me? Why do you assume it was me that did something?”

She just looked at him with a raised eyebrow, he never really noticed how much she looked like Aaron. He didn’t want to get into with her. If Aaron wasn’t with his mum, he was probably with his new “mate” Finn Barton. He wasn’t sure where Finn lived but he thought he remembered Vic saying he was her best mate. He headed to the kitchen to see if Vic was working.

“Alright?” he asked her.

“Alright except I didn’t get any sleep last night. Violet was up all night; I think she’s cutting a tooth.”

“I’ll tell Aaron,” he said automatically. He relied on Aaron for everything that dealt with screaming or vomiting children, but it seemed that was up to him now unless he could find him. “Do you know where Finn Barton lives?”

“Dale View with his brothers, why?”

“No reason. I’ve got to go.”

He made his way to Dale View hoping that Finn was there, if not he would have to try The Grange.

The door opened and it wasn’t Finn but Ross who stood before him.

“Is Finn in?”

“No, he’s at work. What do you want with him?” Ross asked suspiciously.

“I just wanted to know if Aaron stayed here last night?”

“Why would he stay here?”

“He’s a mate of Finn’s, I just thought he’d be here.”

Ross rolled his eyes. “He’s not here, now piss off.” The door was slammed in his face, so him and Ross won’t be going out for drinks anytime soon.

Robert had rung and texted Aaron’s mobile multiple times since he woke up that morning. Aaron seemed to have turned off the tracking on his mobile. He knew he had been too hard on Aaron; he had just been so angry. He did so much for Aaron, put his life on hold so many times because of him. Aaron didn’t like being around strangers, so they didn’t. How many times had he begged Aaron to come with him when he was trying to lure in a new client? So many he couldn’t count. All he had asked was for Aaron not to cheat. Yeah, he knew that made him a hypocrite, so be it. It’s a hit to the ego to find out your husband just not only wants to sleep around he wants multiple sex partners.

No, none of that made sense, Aaron never wanted that before. All this was so confusing he didn’t know what to think. Aaron who hates when strangers stand too close to him wanting to have sex with people he didn’t know or care about. He just had a lot of questions and Aaron wasn’t around to get answers.

“Mum said you were looking for me.”

Robert had just left Dale View and started to wander around. “Where have you been?”

“Slept in my car. Woke this morning and rang a realtor.”

“Why?”

“I need a place to live unless you don’t even want me in the village. I understand if you don’t.”

Aaron giving up angered Robert more. There was no fight left in his husband and it felt wrong.

“Just like that? Our marriage is over, and you don’t care?”

“It’s not like I can change the past.”

“No but you might have at least thought about us when you cheated.”

Aaron paused and looked at Robert with a confused look. “What are you on about?”

“Last night, you cheating on me with a room full of blokes.”

“Didn’t even cheat on you with one bloke let alone a room full.”

“Don’t lie Aaron, I saw you.”

“You saw me with a room full of blokes?” Aaron asked slowly.

“Yes. I saw you with a big blond giant bloke and there was a smaller weasel looking one that was prematurely balding.”

Aaron stared at him for a moment before laughing. Robert was getting really tired of this attitude from Aaron.

“You idiot, I was with my old mates from when I was young. I don’t know how you didn’t see Heidi there too, bleach blonde with a spray on tan, I liked her goth phase better. Unless you did and accusing me of sleeping with a bird.”

“I don’t know what to think anymore. The things you wanted from me. The bloke at Home Farm, not to mention the things you’ve asked me to do,” Robert said, feeling wrong for even saying the words.

Aaron nodded his head. “I just want to remember that night.”

“Why? Why do you want to remember so much? If it were me, I’d be glad for the memory lapse.”

“Say you cut off your leg, but you still feel it. You know it’s not there but sometimes; you still forget and think you can walk on it. The more I forget the leg isn’t there the more I fall, I need to remember.”

It was a messed-up analogy and Robert didn’t really get it. “And how does sleeping with those blokes last night make you remember your leg?” he asked bitterly.

“I didn’t sleep with anyone figurately or literally. I drank with some old mates from school, then I put the two hosts to bed because they were too pissed to make it themselves. I cleaned up their front room and kitchen and came home. Then you told me to get out, that I would never see my kids again and I left. Slept in my car in a car park in Hotten.”

“You really didn’t have sex with anyone?”

“I really didn’t. I can give you their numbers if you want to ask. I do recommend you not ringing Heidi until later, she’s a bear in the mornings.”

Robert didn’t know what to think about that. He knew Aaron wasn’t lying, he was a terrible liar, even when he was a gobby mouthed teen.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Robert told him.

“Meaning?”

“You need help. Real help and if you think it revolves around this memory, maybe you should consider hypnosis.”

“Really?”

“You and the kids are my life. You can’t keep this up, it’ll be the end of us. I was wrong to say I was taking the kids away, but you can’t live like this. If it were you, I don’t think I could do anything, but this has never been you.”

“You’re not divorcing me?”

“No. Just don’t cheat on me.”

Aaron laughed and Robert looked at him half offended. “What?”

“I get it.”

“Get what?”

“I think I know why cheating is a deal breaker for you.”

“Why?”

“Because in every relationship you were in and you cheated, relationship over. You’re just following a pattern. I would never cheat on you. In fact, being with others turns my stomach, I just don’t know where to go from here. I have these new feelings and I want them to stop.”

“I’ll help you. Always.”

“Unless I cheat.”

“Cheat, who cheated?”

Robert groaned. He should have known better to have a conversation here out in the public.

“No one,” Aaron said.

“Really? Chas said you were looking for Aaron this morning. Something about him not sleeping at home. Did he catch you with your trousers down?” Katie asked.

“Leave it, Katie. No one cheated it was a misunderstanding,” Aaron said before walking off.

“I promised Andy I would leave you alone. I’m going to keep that promise, you’ll end up hanging yourself with a long enough rope,” Katie said before leaving too. He wasn’t going to think of her right now, it was clear she hadn’t seen who was back in the village yet. Right now, he had to get some things sorted out.

* * *

It had been days since their misunderstanding. Everything was back to their new normal but hopefully that would be over soon. His appointment with the hypnotherapist was today. He was terrified but thankfully Robert was coming with him. The kids were staying a few days with his mum. He wasn’t sure how that was going to go, she wasn’t exactly mother of the year, but Lisa wasn’t feeling well and needed less stress. It was either his mum or Diane and Diane had thirty years on his mum.

“Nervous?” Robert asked, wrapping his arms around him.

“A bit, I guess. What about that false memory thing?” He had looked some up the night before.

“That’s only if the hypnotherapist is incompetent or a fraud. This bloke is the best money can buy. What did your doctor say?”

“He’s against it but said that if it’s something that I want to do he didn’t think it would cause a major setback.”

“I guess that’s better than it could be.”

“I spoke to Alex, I told him about the hypnosis.”

“What did he say?”

“He thinks it’s a mistake. Said that seeing me that night, I wouldn’t want to remember whatever happened in that room.”

“Has it changed your mind?”

“No. I need to remember this, or we just keep going in circles.”

* * *

“Alright, Aaron, are you ready to start?”

Dr. Bright’s voice was deep and soothing, he had a slight Welsh accent.

“Yes.”

Soon the doctor’s voice started to fade away.

* * *

Robert listened to the doctor and watched Aaron.

“Where are you Aaron?”

“In my bedroom, my dad is breaking things downstairs, I’m scared.”

Robert had to swear not to speak but he knew this memory was not one that would help Aaron. He waved until the doctor noticed him and shook his head. The man was able to get Aaron out of that memory and into the house with his abductor.

“What’s happening now?” the doctor asked.

“Alex wants us to lie to Bert.”

“What do you say?”

“I told him fine, but I was going back to sleep, I’m really tired. But I wasn’t able to sleep.”

“Why?”

“Bert came in, he had been listening to us he knows we were going to lie.” Robert watched as Aaron’s breath started to become labored.

“You’re alright, Aaron. He can’t hurt you now. What happened next?”

“Alex tried to get in between us, but Bert hit him. I think Alex is dead.”

“Alex is fine. You are fine. Now what happens?”

“I tried to get Bert to help Alex, but he wouldn’t. He’s dragging me out of the room and up the stairs.”

“Then what?” the doctor’s voice is soothing and steady as ever, Robert didn’t think he’d be that steady.

“We’re in a bedroom but we don’t stop, we walk through too where to en suite bath is. He pushes me in and turns the water on. It’s cold and weighs my clothes down. He tells me to take them off, but I don’t want to do that. He hits me and I do what he says.”

“You are safe Aaron. Now what happens?”

“He pulls me into the bedroom.”

Aaron goes deathly silent, but Robert could see that he was remembering more.

“Aaron, what’s going on?” the doctor asked. No answer from Aaron. Aaron starts to fight an invisible assailant and it breaks Robert’s heart. Just then Aaron started screaming and it was a scream he never wanted to hear in his life. Alex had told him about the scream, but he didn’t do it justice. It was the scream of the dying. “AARON, WAKE UP!”

Then it was quiet, quiet enough to send a chill up this spine. It actually took a minute for Aaron to start breathing again.

“Aaron are you back with us?” the doctor asked, back to his calm demeanor.

“Yes,” Aaron said, his voice sounded raw. “I need to leave.”

Nothing they said to him could stop him, Aaron ran out of the office like the hounds of hell were chasing him.

* * *

Aaron wanted to be held by his mum, but she was caring for the kids and they couldn’t see him like this. Anyway, she had never been the maternal type. He never had someone to go to when he just wanted to break down, not until he had Robert, but he didn’t think he could stand the thought of being touched by a man right now, even by his own husband.

The sad thing was these feelings he knew what to do with. He knew where to find solace, how to deal with it. The blood and pain were his to control. No one else had that control, just him. He caused his own pain, like it was meant to be. Bert was dead and gone, Gordon was just gone, Ivan/Keith wouldn’t be out of prison for years, Roy had died before he even ran off with Robert. One of his old mates that still worked for Gary had told him. He wasn’t going to let any of them take his life away from him. He had worked hard to get here in life, it was time he did something with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview of the next chapter
> 
> “Your children are lovely.”
> 
> “Thanks.” He gave Violet her doll and hoped she didn’t decapitate it while they had a guest. “How do you know Robert?” he asked. 
> 
> “No, I haven’t had the pleasure. I’m actually here because he knew my daughter.”
> 
> Aaron was confused but expected she would come out and say what she needed soon enough. 
> 
> “I’m not following.”
> 
> “My daughter Britt was a bit of a wild child but mostly grew out of that when she started college. She met a bloke she really liked, extremely ambitious. She said that he wasn’t really the settling down type so when she found herself in the family way, she came back home.”


	37. Sorry

Life went on after their almost separation. The kids and rest of the village were none the wiser mostly because both Aaron and Robert were very private people. Their love life was non-existent because he couldn’t handle being touched at the moment, which was a big change from just a few weeks ago. He still had the had the raised libido but the thought of being touched made him want to be sick. He did still worry about Robert leaving him, but they were back on unsteady ground, like normal for them.

Robert had been working long hours as of late, so it was just him and the kids. He was still keeping the kids with him, no nursery or Lisa because he was having his own worries of abandonment. Robert said it seemed like Aaron was shutting himself away from everyone but he was barely around right now so what did he know. There was something up with Robert, but Aaron decided not to question it. After all, with everything Aaron had put him through Robert didn’t deserve that.

As he was sitting down finally taking a break for the day, someone started knocking on the door. Aaron answered the door, he had just gotten back from taking the kids to a birthday party. They were all playing in the playroom now, which was really Violet’s room.

A short, stocky woman with graying black hair and pale green eyes stood in front of him. She was wearing a floral dress that looked older than him.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“I’m looking for Robert Sugden, I’ve been back and forth looking for him. A very annoyed woman at the Home Farm estate sent me here.”

“He does live here but he’s at work at the moment. He usually doesn’t get back until late.”

“And you are?” she asked.

“His husband.” He heard running around over his head. “Soz, the kids are on some sugar high today. We were at a birthday party earlier.”

“You have children?” she asked.

“Yeah, three.”

“Oh, I assume that’s a lot of work. I only had the one, but she was a full-time job.”

“They’re a handful but I like ‘em,” he told her smiling. She was asking a lot of invasive questions, but he wasn’t really set on edge by anything she was asking. “Where’s my manners, would you like to come in?”

“Thank you,” she said.

Aaron brought her into the front room and sat her down. “Would you like some tea?”

“Water, please.”

“One moment.”

He went into the kitchen and poured her a glass of water. When he stepped back in the room, all three kids had joined her. Violet was an always running, he thought she skipped learning to walk and just went straight to running. Her little knees were covered in bruises because she fell down so much because she never looked where she was going.

“Rory, take Ollie back to the playroom.”

“What about Vi?”

“She can stay down here; I’m going to put her down for her nap soon.”

“Aye, Aye Captain,” Rory said with an exaggerated pirate voice and ran upstairs with Ollie following. Ollie didn’t talk around people he didn’t know and for the most part Rory spoke for him anyway. They were working on having Rory let Ollie speak for himself.

“Your children are lovely.”

“Thanks.” He gave Violet her doll and hoped she didn’t decapitate it while they had a guest. “How do you know Robert?” he asked.

“No, I haven’t had the pleasure. I’m actually here because knew my daughter.”

Aaron was confused but expected she would come out and say what she needed soon enough.

“I’m not following.”

“My daughter Britt was a bit of a wild child but mostly grew out of that when she started college. She met a bloke she really liked, extremely ambitious. She said that he wasn’t really the settling down type so when she found herself in the family way, she came back home.”

Aaron knew where this was going now. This woman was about to try and turn their lives upside down again. Robert was no saint before they got together so he couldn’t outright say it wasn’t possible. He had in fact prepared for this very situation to occur. Robert wasn’t the safest person in the world, he was very much ruled by his hormones.

“Are you saying Robert’s the father?” he asked bluntly.

“Yes, at least that’s the name she gave me. I don’t see her having a reason to lie.”

“I’m guessing the kid isn’t a baby. Why now?”

“My daughter died in a road accident a few months ago. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem, me taking care of Maddie. But my doctor thinks that isn’t a realistic option.”

“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly.

“No, but it’s not a death sentence either. I’ve got to look after my own health, or I won’t see her grow up.”

“You want Robert to take her?” He wanted to know what was going on.

“I don’t want him to take her, I need him to take her. It’s what’s best for her and me.”

“What about him?”

“Well, Britt didn’t make her alone,” she snapped. “Sorry, I’m exhausted. The new medication they have me on has a few side effects.”

“No, I’m sorry. He’ll want to have a DNA test.”

“As will I, she is my granddaughter not a pet I’m trying to rehome.” She smiled and watched Violet throw her doll across the room. “Britt always wanted siblings, her dad bunked off to who knows where and left us. I worked hard just to scrap enough for us to get by. There’s just no way for me to get the help I need and take care of a young child.”

“How old is she?”

“Seven, but if you ask her, she’s seven and half. I won’t lie, she’s a handful and right gobby when she wants to be. But she’s sweet and deserves to have a childhood, not waiting on me when I feel too ill to get out of bed. She’s funny, really funny, she wants to be a ballet dancer when she grows up. She’s good, please think about her continuing.”

This woman was talking like this was already a done deal. Aaron knew that if she were Robert’s there was no way either of them would turn her away.

“Do you have a photo?” he asked. Violet started pulling on his arm, meaning she wanted cuddles. While getting his memory back was ridiculously hard, a good part of it was being able to get near his children again, funnily enough now he couldn’t get near his husband. He still felt the same way but now he knew exactly what had happened and it wasn’t a mystery.

“Of course,” she said smiling. She pulled out her mobile and started going through pictures. “This is her at Christmas, she was so chuffed with her presents. I think it was the first time she smiled since we lost her mum.”

Aaron looked at a young girl smiling at the camera. She had mostly blonde hair. “Is her hair dyed purple?”

“Guilty. When all you’re trying to do is make a little girl happy who’s just lost her mum, you’ll do a lot you never thought.”

“It looks nice.” It did, her hair was mostly blonde with just purple streaks.

“It was temporary, just over the holidays, no way would it be in dress code.”

“She looks like Robert’s sister,” he had to admit.

“She does?” We had always assumed she looked like her father’s side. As you can see, she doesn’t look anything like me, and she didn’t look like Britt.”

“If you give me your number, I’ll make sure Robert reaches out. He’ll be thrown for sure, but he’ll bounce back.”

“I didn’t know he would have a husband,” she said a bit awkwardly.

“Does that matter?” he asked without anger.

“No. Truthfully, I’m just glad he’s married and settled down. I was a bit worried because of the way Britt said he was. I just want her to grow up and be happy. If I weren’t sick, I wouldn’t have come, know that. But this isn’t about me, it’s about what’s best for her and being my caretaker isn’t it.”

“I understand. Thank you for being honest.”

Robert was going to flip his lid when he finds out. Aaron knew without even asking Robert they would be adding Maddie to their home, she was Robert’s daughter, making her family. As much as he hated to admit it, with as much as Robert got around, she probably wouldn’t be the only lost lamb of Robert’s. It was something he made his peace with years ago during a close call just after they got together. A woman showed up saying she was pregnant. Turned out she was lying because she wanted to trick Robert into marrying her. One thing Aaron knew for sure, if the lottery winnings became public knowledge, there would be more, women that Robert had never even met saying he was their child’s father. Hell, he would probably have his own paternity suits and he had never even been with a woman.

“Daddy, who was that woman?” Rory asked when it was time to eat.

“Just someone that needs to talk to Tata.”

“Oh,” Rory said. “Do I have my lessons tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

Since the whole thing with Katie, Robert had fired her from being Rory’s riding instructor. Now they had a bloke from Harrogate come in to teach him. He was nice but Aaron didn’t like the way he looked at Robert, he was always trying to chat Robert up. Because Robert showed no interest was the only reason, he still had a job.

“Mr. Trevor says I’m the best he’s ever taught, he says I must take after Tata.”

Ouch.

“That’s good.”

People always fell for Robert; it was because of the charm he turned on. That’s how Aaron knew that Robert didn’t have any interest. The more charm Robert turns on the less he really cares. If you see the real him, the one without the mask of charm, then he cares what you think and that was only barely more than a handful of people. Robert wasn’t the man most people thought he was, they either thought he was Mr. Perfect or the devil himself, when in reality he was a little bit of both and none at the same time.

Rory went to bed chatting happily about his riding lesson. Trevor had opened his big gob and told Rory about his show jumping and now it was Rory’s passion in life. Robert had gotten him several books on the subject, but Aaron wasn’t best pleased. The accidents a child can have are scary enough but wanting this as a future was terrifying. He was a bit scared of horses himself, but who could blame him even the vet Paddy was scared of them.

Ollie and Violet went to bed after a story, lately Ollie could only sleep when he was in Violet’s room. Because of that they just gave Rory his own room and had the two smaller ones share. He would have to changed that again when they got Maddie. Or just put her with Rory, they would have to see how they got along first. God, Robert was going to lose his mind.

It was after midnight when Robert came tumbling in smelling like a brewery.

“I hope you didn’t drive,” Aaron said, annoyed.

“Don’t start.”

“I guess you haven’t been at the office all this time.” Robert was notorious for getting in late after work. He loved the thrill of the chase, maybe that’s why he was such a good businessman.

“Why are you always yapping at me? If I wanted to be married to a woman, I would be.”

Robert was looking for a row, Aaron knew that tone. He wasn’t about to start a meaningful conversation with Robert when he was like this. He didn’t know why he was blathered, but he wasn’t going to be putting up with Robert’s attitude tonight. He didn’t know why Robert was acting this way, but he wouldn’t be able to get a real answer out of him tonight.

Aaron grabbed the portable baby monitor and headed to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to sleep on the sofa.”

“Why are you being like this?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Maybe I’m tired of the monk life, maybe I want more of a sex life than my right hand.”

Aaron knew this was drunk Robert talking but it still hurt. Mostly because drunk Robert said the things that sober Robert wanted to say but knew it wasn’t something he should.

“If you feel that way maybe you should find someone to fill your needs,” Aaron snapped back. He knew he should just go and let Robert sleep it off.

“Maybe I already did.”

Aaron left the room, no longer having the strength to fight back. This was the Robert that came out sometimes, it wasn’t often, and it wasn’t real, but it still hurt. He knew that Robert hadn’t been with anyone, he had just wanted to hurt Aaron with his words. He succeeded. The funny thing was, Aaron was ready to restart their sex life, he was going to tell Robert when he got home then he was going to break the news about his possible daughter.

* * *

Robert woke up to Violet screaming her head off. He turned over to see if Aaron was up or still asleep. As his eyes landed on Aaron’s pillow, he remembered last night. He had told Aaron that he slept with someone, which he didn’t. He drank his weight at the Woolpack. Andy had seen him and drove him home, which ended up annoying him more.

Yesterday was the day from hell, he lost his biggest contract. Apparently, Lawrence’s daughters took over his company and decided to make him and Aaron pay for what happened to their father. Like it was his or Aaron’s fault their father was a creep. He knew Chrissie from when he worked for Lawrence, he didn’t know the younger one though. If she were anything like her sister, she probably had horns.

Violet’s crying didn’t stop so Robert got up to check on her. His head felt like it was going to fall off. Violet’s cries got louder, and he headed to her room. She was in her cot, standing up and red-faced.

“Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he cooed at her and picked her up. She settled quickly, he could feel she was wet, he quickly changed her nappy and clothes.

He went looking for Aaron, he probably hadn’t heard her. Ollie wasn’t in the bedroom, so he was probably with Aaron. He found Aaron in the front room on the sofa, he wasn’t alone. Ollie was sleeping peacefully on Aaron’s chest and Rory was sleeping at his feet.

“Thought you’d never wake up,” Aaron said quietly.

“I thought you were going to get her,” he said, defending himself, ashamed of the night before still.

“Was but I’ve only just gotten Ollie asleep an hour ago.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Dodgy stomach. You’re lucky you didn’t have to clean up the mess.”

Robert made a face; he never could handle the vomit part of parenting. Actually, Aaron did a lot in the parenting department. Robert usually ended up making a mess unless he somehow lucked into something. Like the time he realized the smell of his cologne calmed Violet down, or three bedtime stories were the prefect number for Rory unless they were chapter books. Ollie loved Linkin Park’s Bleed it Out, Aaron had to admit during some of his darkest times when it was just him and the kids at home, he would play the song over on repeat with the kids. Robert asked him why and he admitted it helped him not cut while the kids were with him. That disturbed Robert but it was tied to how much his two-year-old loved that song.

“I’m sorry about last night, I had way too much to drink.”

“What happened?”

Robert wavered on if he should tell him but knew if he lied now, he would have to come clean some time. “I lost my biggest contract to Lawrence’s daughters. I’ve got a feeling they are out for blood. I’m going to start having to put more hours in.”

Aaron shifted and was able to get off the sofa without waking up either child. It was a feat not many could accomplish.

“I need to talk to you,” Aaron said, nodding towards the kitchen.

He might as well get his balls handed to him now, he’s surprised Aaron didn’t already start yelling he deserved it. He sat Violet in her highchair and put some cereal in front of her.

“So, let me have it.”

“If you’re talking about last night, drop it. That doesn’t matter.”

“What?”

“We’ve got a bigger issue than some hurt feelings.”

“Meaning?”

“Do you remember a woman named Britt from about eight years ago?”

“No, should I?”

“Her mother was here yesterday. Britt died in a car accident some months ago. The grandmother just found out she can’t properly care for the girl.”

Robert shook his head. “I don’t see how this is our problem. Was she sent by the boys social worker?”

“No, the little girl’s mother told her own mother the name of the father.” Aaron looked at him sadly. “It’s you, Robert.”

“She’s lying, she has to be.”

“Really? Robert we both know that you’ve had unprotected sex in the past, more than once.”

“You believe her?” Robert trusted Aaron’s read on people.

“I do. The little girl, Maddie, looks like old pictures of Vic. What I think you should do is reach out to the grandmother and set up a DNA test. Then we’ll know where to go from there.”

“What if she’s mine?”

“I guess I’ll have to learn about ballet.”

“You’re amazing, you know that, right?”

“I am, am I?”

“What other spouse could find out about a possible child and just take it.”

“We weren’t together when she was conceived. She’s a little girl missing her mother, except for the girl part, I know what that’s like.”

Robert nodded sadly. “Me too.” Aaron luckily still had his mother; Robert had lost two by the time he was grown. “Katie’s going to have a field day with this.”

“She’s got more to worry about than anything you do right now,” Aaron said.

“What does that mean?”

“Sadie King has set her sights on Andy. You don’t have anything to do with that do you?”

“Me? Why would I do something like that?”

“Just don’t let this thing hurt Debbie or the kids.”

“I promise, they’re off-limits.”

“I knew you were involved.”

Robert shrugged; he didn’t like lying to Aaron. Ever since Robert cheated on Katie with Sadie, Katie hated both Robert and Sadie. Now she would have to put up with both of them and both doing better in life than her.

He thought about the little girl that might be his daughter. Aaron was right, he wasn’t always safe in the past. He’d been treated for a few STIs because of it. This was a new one though, at least that he knew about. He watched Aaron clean Violet up and thought about how lucky he was. Aaron didn’t harp on about the night before and instead put his feelings aside for a little girl he didn’t know. A heart like that after all he’d been through, it was a miracle.


	38. Robert meets Maddie

He had gotten the DNA results back. Matilda Robin Collins was his daughter. He didn’t know what to think about that, he was still in a kind of shock. Aaron was much more alright with this whole thing than he was. He had already asked the grandmother the girl’s favorite things to decorate her room. They decided that Robert’s office would turn into Maddie’s room and after speaking with Sadie he would use the office at Home Farm if he needed. It was still his house after all. Aaron told him that he would rather build onto their current house than moving back to Home Farm, he still didn’t think it was a good place to raise children.

Try as he might, he couldn’t remember the girl’s mother. It made him feel awful and disgusted with himself. He wasn’t proud of the how much he slept around. Aaron had a theory, but Robert had brushed it off but maybe it had some merit. Aaron thought that since his dad caught him with the farmhand, Robert had been trying to prove something with the amount of women he slept with. Robert guessed that was true to a point but he never stopped sleeping with men either. Whatever the reason was, he put himself in this situation. But right now, his daughter was the important person in this.

After he spoke to the grandmother, they decided to ease her into getting to know them. They were going out to a park together, hoping for the kids to bond. Maybe if she liked Rory, Ollie and Violet it would be easier to win her over. Aaron wasn’t going to be able to go because he had an appointment with his counselor, which meant Robert was going in this alone.

“Is my sister going to move in with us?” Rory asked. He had taken to the news of another sister with enthusiasm.

“Yes, but only after she gets comfortable with us and knows us. This is a big change for her.”

“Is she being adopted too?”

Robert thought that Rory had understood but he guessed he was being hopeful.

“No, she’s my biological daughter. Meaning that me and her mum made her.”

“Made her? Is she a robot? That’s so cool, I can’t wait to tell Uncle Zak.”

Robert laughed. “No, she’s not a robot.” He really didn’t want to explain human reproduction to Rory just yet. “I’ll get you a book on it.”

Rory looked at him oddly but didn’t question him further. It was funny Robert was better with adults than he was children and Aaron was better with children than adults. Aaron was quiet and didn’t do chitchat because it made him uncomfortable. Kids liked that Aaron didn’t talk down to them or just talk to fill silences. Robert was the opposite; he couldn’t stand silence. But the good thing about being with Aaron, Aaron put up with his need to talk and Robert put up with Aaron’s long stretches of silence. Luckily for him, there wasn’t too much silence in a house with three kids…four soon. They hadn’t told any of their family yet because they were still in shock.

* * *

The park was nice, he had the kids wrapped up because winter was still hanging on. As he got the kids out of the car, he notice a woman and a little girl staring at them. The woman was just how Aaron described her, but it was the little girl that had his attention. She was wearing a black jumper and jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a braid, but he could see stray blonde curls escaping the braid. Aaron was right, put strawberry blonde hair on her and she would’ve looked like Vic when she was small.

Robert carried Violet and made sure Ollie held Rory’s hand as they left the carpark and made their way for the woman and girl.

“Robert Sugden?” the woman asked.

“Yes. Guess that makes you Helen Collins.”

“Nothing gets by you.”

Alright, he guessed she wasn’t a fan of him, but he hadn’t known about the baby. He didn’t know what he would have done if he did, but he hoped he would have done the right thing.

“Right. Well, this is Rory and Ollie, and this little girl is Violet,” he said.

“And this is Maddie.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Maddie,” he said.

“Do you always look like that?” she asked.

“Like what?”

“You know…dodgy.”

The grandmother burst out laughing and the tension between them broke.

“Ta for that.”

“Soz, I told her to say anything she liked. I told your husband, she’s s right gobby little thing.”

“Do you want to play?” Rory asked.

Maddie looked at her grandmother who nodded. Robert sat Violet down and she toddled behind Ollie chasing after the bigger two. The play area was small, and the bench was right outside of it, so he didn’t worry about them. He was able to keep a good eye on them.

“She won’t say it, but she was so nervous about meeting you. She went through about five outfits before she would let us leave.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“Smart too. Maybe too smart. She understands that you didn’t know about her, but it still hurts, I think. She was excited when I told her she would have two brothers and a sister.”

“I’m glad, I always wanted to be an only child.”

“She always wanted siblings. Would get so jealous when her little schoolmates would get a new brother or sister.”

“I want her,” he said honestly. He didn’t think it would happen like that.

“Good. It’s going to have to happen sooner than I would like.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I found out yesterday that I’ve got to go in for surgery. I’ll have to go into rehabilitation for a while.”

“Who will take care of you when you get out?”

“I’ll get assistance, but I can’t take care of her. If I could, I wouldn’t have even come looking for you.”

Robert understood even though it did make him a little angry. He could have never learned he had a child in the world if it weren’t of her grandmother being sick.

“Don’t you want to run a background check on me and Aaron?”

“I already had one ran on you before I even showed up. Aaron’s just finished.”

“And?” He knew there had to be something about Aaron’s recent past on there.

“I only ran criminal background checks; his personal life is his own.” She couldn’t look Robert in the eye, so he knew she was lying but obviously it wasn’t a deal breaker. Most of the stuff about Aaron didn’t name him but the abduction by a serial killer had his name in some papers.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. I liked your husband, he’s not much one for small talk.”

“No, never has been. He’s good with the kids.”

“Will you be able to afford to care for another child?”

Robert bit back the laugh that almost escaped. “Yes, I own my own business and we do alright.”

Aaron had already been onto Robert about starting her trust fund. The other three already had theirs. Aaron didn’t want any of them to depend on anyone. It made sense Aaron won the money, he was the only one that didn’t care about it. Robert on the other hand, cared very much about it.

* * *

Aaron had rescheduled his appointment with his counselor and went to the cricket pavilion. No one was around, he went inside sat down on the floor. When he visited when he was young, he would come here to get away from his mum. He knew now her heart was in the right place, but she was always just useless. Even when he was young, he knew she would choose Carl over him.

The first Christmas he came to Emmerdale was just after his father’s second attack. He was supposed to visit his mum earlier in the month, but he wasn’t able to go. His dad wouldn’t let him until he knew Aaron wouldn’t say anything to his mum. Then his dad got him the guitar as some kind of buy off, it was something his dad refused to get him before. He still thought it was his fault and he caused his father to treat him the way he did. And it wasn’t all bad, he loved him and just wanted him to stop hurting him. There were so many reasons that he didn’t tell his mum but none of it mattered more than he thought his mum would blame him. As long as he didn’t tell her and she didn’t know, she couldn’t say it was his fault or that she didn’t believe him.

He pulled out his razor kit, with everything going on, Robert won’t question Aaron’s new scars. This was something he needed; he just couldn’t risk a child walking in on him. The first cut quietened everything in his head. He rested his head against the wall and close his eyes.

* * *

Robert was waiting for Aaron to get home; he had shut off his mobile again. He was sure it was because Aaron hated him checking up on him. Because Aaron was the primary caregiver of the kids, when Robert was with them, he usually took a break and was off the grid. It was late and Robert was starting to worry about him.

He had a lot to tell him, mostly that they would be getting Maddie in two days’ time. They needed to get her room ready and also let people know about the addition to their family, and they needed to be a united front for that.

Robert knew why Aaron wasn’t home, it was because of the week before when he said those horrible things to him. Aaron had been perfectly pleasant, hadn’t brought anything up. Wasn’t being surly or unkind, just saw what they needed to do and got it done. Robert knew what that meant, it meant he was harming himself. An angry Aaron meant one that was processing his anger healthily, a closed off Aaron that should be upset but wasn’t was an Aaron falling back on tried-and-true coping behaviors.

Rory was excited about his new big sister. She’s eight months older than him which he thought was amazing. They made fast friends, and both cared for the younger children. Maddie was a little leader for sure. She’s funny and talented, she did talk a lot once she got going. Aaron was going to be out of his depth with her in the beginning because Robert knew for sure he was. She was so different from the other kids, but he was vastly different from Vic and Andy, so it wasn’t surprising.

Maybe Aaron was at the pub drinking, that’s plausible. He hoped that Aaron got home soon because he didn’t like that he was out late. Not that Aaron wasn’t to be trusted, Robert had to be reminded the hard way about that. It was because Aaron had been excited to hear about his meeting with Maddie.

* * *

He woke to giggling, he hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep. It was the sound of a young couple.

“Quit,” a female voice giggled.

“Why?” her male counterpart asked.

They sounded familiar but he couldn’t place them.

“Someone might see,” the female said. Aaron realized she was older than he suspected in the first place.

“Who cares?”

Aaron hoped they would just go away; he didn’t want to listen to any Romeo and Juliet live action play. Soon the couple did leave but only because the male’s mobile rang, and he said it was his dad. It was then Aaron placed him. Kirin, the son of Rakesh Kotecha. The only reason Aaron knew that much was because Kirin had hit Moira’s car. He only heard about it second hand because he had been a little kidnapped and locked in a dark, dank wine cellar at the time.

Once they were gone, he was able to leave. He hoped no one saw him leaving, there would be too many questions. His stomach burned as the cold air seeped through his top. Hissing, he pulled his hoodie down more. He made his way across to cricket pitch to where his car was parked behind the Woolpack. It was late enough the only hope he had was Robert was asleep. He wanted to know about how the meeting with Maddie went but he didn’t want an earful from Robert.

The house was dark when he got home so at least he wouldn’t be listening to Robert tonight. The house was small enough that he couldn’t risk showering this time of night, it would wake the kids. Instead of going into the bedroom and running the chance of waking Robert up, he grabbed a blanket from the closet and went to sleep on the sofa.

* * *

Robert woke up to music playing downstairs. He got up, dressed and headed for the kitchen. Aaron was there and all three of the kids. It was one of those kids’ songs playlist was playing. Right now, was The Wheels on the Bus.

“Tata!” Rory yelled when he saw him and ran to him.

Robert remembered the hard work it took just for Rory to be comfortable around him. Now he hugged him without thought, it was a hard-earned victory.

“Morning,” Robert said setting Rory back down on his feet and ruffling his hair. “What time did you get in last night?” he asked Aaron.

“Late. Soz, got distracted.”

It wasn’t the place to ask what he had been doing or where, so he just nodded.

“Helen said that she wants us to bring Maddie home in two days’ time. Is that alright?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? You’ll need to take a few days off while she adjusts.”

“I can’t afford that, just taking yesterday was more than I should.”

“So, I’m to plan for Maddie, get everything ready and then take care of her?”

“Well, she is ours now.”

“Correction, she was always yours you just didn’t know it. I don’t see how your unsafe sex history is my problem?”

“Please stop fighting,” Rory cried.

Robert saw Aaron’s face pale and as he realized he was starting a row in front of the kids. He could see the panic start to take over.

“You go on, I’ll finish breakfast,” Robert said.

“You sure?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, go have a shower and relax, I’ll take care of this.”

Aaron left the kitchen without saying another word, hurrying up the stairs. After a few moments he heard the shower turn on. Turning his attention back to Rory.

“I’m sorry you heard that. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you sore at him?”

“What? No, of course not. I love your dad. Just sometimes we argue but we shouldn’t do that in front of you and we’ll try our best never to do that again.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I know, I’m not fond of it myself.”

“When is Maddie coming to live with us?” Rory seemed to be more interested in that than staying on the fight topic.

“In two days. Are you going to help her adjust?”

Rory nodded his head. “Oh, yes. I’m going to show her my room and Uncle Zak’s pigs.”

“All the major attractions of Emmerdale I see,” he said a bit sarcastically. He really hated his son’s love for the farm life.


	39. Breaking the News

They were going to tell the families about Maddie today and Aaron felt like he was slowly going mad. Robert thought the best place and time would be at the Woolpack in the evening. Everyone would be there and in good spirits. Aaron had hired a sitter for the night, one with glowing recommendations. He hadn’t wanted to do it, but Robert said he was being overbearing. Opal, a young woman just starting university, she had several younger siblings and everyone he rang about her loved her. It wasn’t like he was going to be far anyway. He didn’t know why it was bothering him. He’d left Ollie and Violet at nursery loads before. It was just the longest he’s left them since Lisa had to take a break because she fell ill.

Everyone was going to add their thoughts, he just knew it. The ones he worried about the most was his mum, Katie, Andy, Diane, Vic and Cain.

“Are you ready for tonight?” Robert asked. He had just come home from work and started getting ready.

“No. Are you sure everyone’s going to be there?”

“I told Chas that drinks all night were on us, so I don’t think there will be anyone in the village not there.”

“Poor Grandad, he would have loved that,” Aaron said. He didn’t care one way or the other for the old tramp…no that wasn’t true. He missed him, as awful as he was, he missed him.

“We’ll be lucky if all the Dingles that live within driving distance don’t show up.”

“Stop acting like the Sugdens are so much better.” He felt defensive of his family, he didn’t know why though.

“I’m not saying we are, look at Andy.”

“I thought you made up with him?”

“For the most part.”

“I don’t think he’ll cheat.”

“You’re being naïve again. You weren’t this naïve when we met. I think you’ve watched too many Disney movies with the kids.”

Aaron knew that maybe was true because he wanted his kids to live in that flowers and sunshine life, the kind he never had. Rory and Ollie had already seen so much ugliness in the world. Maddie has lost her mother and now losing her grandmother to a point because she’s unable to care for her.

“Maybe Andy is a good husband.”

“Yeah? Ask Jo about that.”

Aaron knew better than to get in between Robert’s issues with his brother. Then you add Katie into that, and Robert’s need to wind them all up intensified.

The sitter arrived not long after that and they headed off to the pub. They decided to walk, knowing how the night may end they would need the walk back to cool off.

“This is going to turn into a disaster, you know it, right?” Aaron asked Robert when they walked.

“No, you have to understand this about people. If you act like this is the best news that you’ve ever heard, they have to go with it or they’re the arseholes. They can’t think that Maddie coming into our lives is a bad thing.”

“Or that you cheated on me,” Aaron said blandly. “Not hard to prove she was conceived when I was still living with my dad.” He hated remembering that time of his life, just waiting for the next time like a countdown that he never got to see the timer.

“Did you find a dance studio for her?” Robert asked.

“Yes, I think she’ll do really well there. I spoke to the instructor and she had contacted her former one. This was something Helen said she really wanted Maddie to continue and I’m going to give it my best. I also signed up Rory for ballet too.”

Robert came to a complete stop and grabbed Aaron’s arm. “You did what?”

“I signed Rory up for the class too.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because he might like it, if he doesn’t, I won’t force him to go but he will have to try.”

“No son of mine will take ballet.”

Aaron looked at Robert like he lost his mind because he obviously had. “You can’t be serious. I would expect something like this from Cain but not you.”

“It’s not right.”

“You do know there are male ballet dancers, right?”

“I just don’t think it’s right for him.”

“If Rory decides he doesn’t like it, then he can quit. But he will have the opportunity. I also signed them both up for Aikido. Do you have a problem with that? I also rang Trevor and added Maddie to their riding lessons. If at any time any of them chooses not to participate, it’s up to them. Not only is it sexist, but it also doesn’t make sense for me to have two same aged children in different classes. When they are older and know what they want to do then its different. I’m already going to be spending an hours for different classes to get over with. We have the money; this is the best way to have well rounded children. And now that Maddie is around, who you said yourself is very extroverted, it would be the perfect time to have Rory start doing things with other children. He’s on track in schooling and it’s my hope to start him in school full time in the new school year.

“I was continuously told to toughen up not only by my father but everyone around me. You told me about how Jack treated you. That kind of thinking makes you hate yourself, makes you still hate your brother because he’s the son your dad wanted. Once you start treating kids different you cause distance between them.”

Robert rolled his eyes. “When did you became such an expert on kids?”

Aaron just stared at him. “Are you serious? Where do you think I take Rory every Thursday? Not only have I been through enough therapy to try and get certified myself, but I also spend ninety minutes every Thursday reading every magazine they have in the waiting room followed by thirty minutes of his therapist telling me what I need to do and why I need to do it.”

Robert opened his mouth and then shut it again before opening it…again. “I’m sorry. I guess you’re right. My dad still is somewhere in my head whispering I’m not good enough and never will be like Andy. I need to do better.”

“Yes, you do. Ballet doesn’t make little boys gay, it helps strength, coordination and agility. It build self-esteem and confidence, creativity and self-expression. It will teach him to be strong, mind and body. And what does it matter if he is gay or straight or bi or indifferent, we need to stop this diversion in us. He’s a little boy that needs to come out of his shell or that shell will end up killing him.”

“How long have you been keeping all that bottled up?”

“Long time. Come on or we’ll be late for our own party.”

* * *

“What do you think Robert wants to say?” Katie asked Andy.

Everyone in the village was in the pub almost. Hearing that drinks would be on Robert all night got around fast. Katie didn’t really want to be there but because Aaron was now married to Robert, she had to be there for Chas. She wondered how they could afford such an expensive night. She knew Robert had money but this was going to be a lot of money for just drinks. He must have made a few quid, selling part of Home Farm Estates to Sadie King. How she hated Sadie King. Not only did Robert cheat on her with Sadie, but the woman was also always around now. She would show up needing help from Andy every other day. If she didn’t know better, she would think she was trying to steal her husband. That couldn’t be true because everyone knew that Sadie King was a gold-digger and Andy didn’t have any money.

“I don’t know, he probably bought something new that he wants to shove it in our faces,” Andy said.

“Does sound like something he would do. Maybe he cheated on Aaron and this is trying to buy us off.”

“Don’t think it’s that, Aaron’s in on this too.”

“When do we start to get free drinks?” Sam asked.

“As soon as Robert and Aaron get here and open a tab,” Chas said. Family was family but not when money was involved.

The doors to the pub opened and Robert and Aaron walked in. They looked a bit tense but greeted others.

“I didn’t know this many would be here,” Robert said with a smirk, clearly, he did. He was a player of the game and she could tell he thought it was a game he was winning. He didn’t understand money didn’t make you successful.

She watched Aaron roll his eyes and take a seat far from everyone who had started to gather around the bar to order their drinks. It took a while for everyone to have a drink but when they did everything started to settle.

“So, tell us why you’ve arranged this, Sugden,” Cain said.

“What? Can’t I just be a generous human being?”

“Rob,” Aaron said, and Katie could feel the chill from where she was. Things were not good in Robert’s marriage right now. She wondered how she could use this to her advantage to out him for being a despicable person.

“Fine. We’re celebrating the addition of our daughter into our family,” Robert said.

“You’re adopting another child? Do you think that’s wise, luv?” Chas asked, turning to look at Aaron.

“We’re not adopting. Well, I might down the line,” Aaron said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Chas asked.

“Another surrogacy?” Lisa asked.

“No,” Aaron answered.

If it wasn’t surrogacy or adoption than how where they adding another child to their family? Just like that the cold look Aaron gave Robert made sense.

“You had an affair and got the woman pregnant, didn’t you?” Katie said.

The pub went quiet and all eyes went to Robert. She could see that Chas was about to tear his eyes out.

“There was no cheating. Maddie is seven, I know most of you aren’t great at maths but I was fifteen when she was born. Robert was single and free to do as he pleased. We just found out about her because she lost her mum, and her grandmother is ill. But it doesn’t make her any less wanted.”

That seemed to break the tension in the room, and everyone started laughing and congratulating Robert. Katie did notice Aaron slip out of the pub but no one else seemed to notice. She decided to follow him, he was going into Chas’ living area.

“I didn’t mean to say what I did,” she said, causing him to look up from the sofa he just sat down at.

“Yes, you did, Katie. I don’t expect you to like Robert, he did cheat on you but if Andy got back together with you after you cheated on him with his own brother, maybe you should let this go.”

“He’s just so smug. Can’t you see that he’s just going to use you and hurt you?”

“What could I possibly have that he wants to use me for? He took me in when I had no one. He took care of me when no one wanted to know my name. I gave him nothing but grief for the first few months, but he never kicked me out. He’s given me love, a family and a home. Will he someday cheat on me? Maybe. Will I leave him because of it? Probably not.”

“And you think that’s right? Living your life taking what he gives you? Using his money to keep you in line?”

“I would rather have Robert, faults and all than not having him at all.”

“Something going on?”

Katie groaned. Of course, Robert would come and interfere. She turned and glared at him. She didn’t know how long he had been standing there.

“Nothing,” Aaron said.

“Right, I best get back to Andy.” She left knowing that Aaron was a lost cause.

* * *

“What was that about?” Robert asked Aaron after Katie went back into the pub.

“She hates you, same story.”

“Why are you in here?”

“Too many people. I didn’t want to take you away from your adoring public.”

“It went how we planned it.”

“Great.”

Robert didn’t understand what was wrong with Aaron. He got that he angered him earlier but that shouldn’t still be causing him to be off with him.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I’m just shattered.”

“We’ll leave then.”

“We can’t, we promised everyone free drinks all night. Mum will want us here to pay at the end of the night.”

Robert sat down beside Aaron and put his arm around him. “Tell me what to do.”

“I don’t know, I’m just feeling on edge.”

“You’ve been cutting again, haven’t you?”

“Don’t ask questions you know the answers to.”

“Anything I can do?”

“Make me forget for a little while.”

* * *

Chas looked around for her son or son-in-law but didn’t see them. Everyone was having a good time and the ale was flowing nicely. It was mostly her family taking advantage of Robert and Aaron’s hospitality. Aaron had told her not to worry about the cost, but this was going to be a bloody fortune.

“Have you seen Aaron?” she asked Cain.

“No.” He went back drinking. She hoped everyone planned to walk home.

“He was sitting on your sofa last I saw him, Robert was with him,” Katie answered.

“Can you take care of the bar? I want to check on him.”

“Sure.”

She made her way to the back but was stopped by Diane. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Diane was just standing where the pub joined the living accommodations.

“You don’t want to go in there,” Diane said looking a bit flushed.

“Yes, I do. I want to see what’s going on with Aaron. He didn’t look right.”

“Trust me, pet, you don’t want to go in there.”

“Why? Are they rowing?”

“Um…no.”

“Then what is it?”

“They are being ‘together’,” Diane said, looking embarrassed.

“What does that mea…no, in my front room? Not on my sofa.”

“No, when I saw them, it was more against the wall.”

“Oh god.”

“Best not bring him up, pet, I think your son was calling him already.”

Chas was scandalized by Diane; it was very unlike the prim and proper woman. “You’re pissed, aren’t you?”

“Little bit.”

“Come on, we’ll let them finish.” She loved her son but didn’t need to see that.


	40. Selfish

_“Good morning,” Robert said as he shifted nearer to Aaron._

_They had gotten back from Spain late the night before. Annie, his grandmother, was chuffed for them when they broke the news of their engagement. She had been their only family there, the only one in either of their families to know they were together. She didn’t like keeping the secrecy, but she would for him._

_“Morning.” Aaron got out of bed and didn’t look at him. Robert noticed that Aaron had been distant. He thought getting married would fix it. The wedding was Aaron’s idea after all._

_“What’s wrong with you? I thought this is what you wanted.”_

_“It’s not. I thought I wanted this too, but I don’t.”_

_Robert’s heart stuttered in his chest. “What?”_

_“You hate working for Lawrence White, you work so hard for no recognition.”_

_“Yeah, but until I have enough money to start my own company, I have to play the game.”_

_“What if you had enough?”_

_“Aaron be serious, it’ll take a few hundred thousand just to get started. Not only that, turning a profit in the first year is a near impossibility. I don’t have that kind of money and won’t for a long time.”_

_“But what if you did?”_

_“Then I would throw my contract in Lawrence’s face in this morning and laugh about how he didn’t have me sign a non-compete clause in my newest contract.”_

_“You have the money.”_

_“What are you on about?”_

_“You have the money.”_

_“I wish I did, but I don’t. Together we barely scrap by enough to live on.”_

_Aaron looked at Robert and Robert didn’t know what to think about the look. He looked close to panicking._

_“No, Robert, you do. In fact, we have 146 million pounds.”_

_Robert laughed. “Funny. Now stop taking a piss. I’ve got to get ready for work.”_

_Something was shoved in his face. It was a bank statement, one that was in the millions._

_“It’s not all of it, of course. The financial advisor I hired thought it wasn’t a good idea to keep it all in the same place.”_

_Robert looked at Aaron and knew it had to be the truth. Maybe when they first met Aaron played games but not after the real him was allowed to come out. Thinking back, Robert remembered the lottery winner a month or so ago who won 146 million but stayed anonymous._

_“It was you?” Robert asked, his voice barely more than a whisper._

_“Yeah. Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I was trying to wrap my own head around it.”_

_“You’re a millionaire?”_

_“No, we’re millionaires, husband.”_

_Now he knew why Aaron wanted to get married, he wanted commitment from Robert before he told him about the money. He wanted to know if he wanted him in a small flat. A part of him was annoyed but he had to admit he would have done much more to Aaron to make sure they were sincere._

_“We’re millionaires,” he said, trying the word out._

_“We can never tell anyone. Your family would be alright, but the Dingles can never find out.”_

_“Smart. You asked me what I wanted to do but what about you?”_

_“Meaning?”_

_“Now that we have all this money, what do you want?”_

_“I’ve no clue.”_

_“I guess I need to help you out with thinking big.”_

_“We’ll be poor in a month if it was up to you.”_

_They laughed. Robert knew he hadn’t really absorbed the money bomb. When he did, it was going to be big._

* * *

Robert parked his car in front of his home. Maddie was sitting in the back seat, she talked with her grandmother on the whole trip. To make it easier for Maddie to adjust they got her a mobile so she could talk to her grandmother any time she wanted. It was a bit of a discussion between the three of them but finally the grandmother relented and agreed it would be good to speak to Maddie any time needed.

He knew that Aaron was on edge about meeting the little girl. He had been busy both times Robert had gone over to meet with her and her grandmother. The first time he thought maybe it was accidental but now he thought it was probably on purpose. He knew Aaron had said he was alright taking in Maddie but now he wasn’t sure. Aaron had set up her schooling, lessons, room and anything else she could want.

They had decided early on that Maddie would be able to spend as much time with her grandmother as possible so her room at her house would stay the same. That meant Aaron had to decorate a little girl’s room when his favorite colour was black and style was minimal. When it came to Violet’s room, they had let Rory pick out the colours.

Aaron had told him they should just wait and let her pick them out herself, but Robert didn’t like that idea. He thought it would make her feel unwanted. He didn’t get why Aaron was being so difficult.

“Are you ready to go in?” he asked Maddie.

She bit her lip but nodded. Robert didn’t see Aaron’s car; he must have parked somewhere else. Maddie grabbed her bag and they headed inside.

When he opened the door, he was assaulted by the smell of cooking. Aaron wasn’t really a great cook, but he did try. This wasn’t his cooking.

“Oh, luv, you’re home. And who is this little lady?” Lisa asked, giving Maddie a huge smile.

“My name is Matilda, what’s yours?” Maddie said very politely.

“Aren’t you lovely. I’m your Aunt Lisa.”

“Where’s Aaron?”

Lisa looked at him oddly. “He’s gone on his trip.”

“Trip? What trip?”

Lisa started to look uncomfortable. “I’m not sure, I thought you knew.”

“Did he take the kids?” he asked.

“No, they’re upstairs. Rory has been going on and on about his sister.”

“Where is Rory?” Maddie asked.

“Upstairs, their door is open with a small gate in the doorway, but Rory knows how to open it, just make sure to close it so the baby doesn’t get out,” Lisa said. Maddie took off upstairs.

“What’s really going on?” he asked Lisa.

“I don’t know, really. He seemed fine; said he would be back as early as tomorrow. Wanted me to watch them until you got home.”

“I’m going to ring him.”

He pulled out his mobile and saw that he had missed several calls and messages. He hadn’t heard anything; it took a moment to realize he had turned off the ringer.

Voicemail 1- Robert, ring me back.

Voicemail 2- Robert, please answer.

Voicemail 3- Rob, I’ve got big news, but I don’t want to tell you like this. I’ll be back soon. It’s good, I promise.

Voicemail 4- I forgot to mention, I spoke to my counselor, he thought we should wait and let Maddie pick out how her room is decorated. He said it will make her feel like her opinion is valued and that’s big with all the changes in her life.

Message 1- Why aren’t you answering?

Message 2- I’ll be back soon.

Message 3- Love you.

Where had Aaron gone? Why would he do it on such an important day? Anger surged through him. Usually, Aaron’s selfishness didn’t bother him, but this was a day about Maddie. He was glad his mobile was on silent at the time because if it hadn’t of been, he would have told Aaron just what he thought.

* * *

Aaron had been speaking to Helen about things that would make Maddie more comfortable. He found out Helen didn’t have many photos of Maddie when she was small because she and Maddie’s mother didn’t have the best relationship until Britt got sick. Maddie’s mother had all of her digital photos saved on an old laptop that she let a friend borrow before she moved in with Helen. The mate said that it might be in her storage unit, which is where they were now. He was glad he messaged Robert that it would be at least until tomorrow. He knew that he would fold and tell him if he heard his voice. He wanted it to be a surprise to both Robert and Maddie, he also didn’t want to get her hopes up if he couldn’t find them. Helen said Maddie only had a handful of photos of her mum. Helen had lost all Britt’s childhood pictures in a fire years ago. This was his only shot for Maddie to have pictures of her mother and her.

“Here it is,” Susan, Britt’s mate, pulled out a red laptop with several stickers on it.

“Great,” he said as she handed it to him. “I’m really thankful that you did this, Maddie will be chuffed.”

“You do know I have loads of pictures of Britt and Maddie at my flat.”

“You do?”

“Yes, why don’t you come over? I’ll make us tea while you look through them.”

“Alright.” Susan was nice, if a little overly nice.

“This is a real nice car,” she said as they drove back to her flat.

“Thanks. This is my car for driving the kids around. Robert has several cars, mostly vintage.”

“You two much have a few bob, huh?” she said curiously.

It wasn’t like him to brag; he guessed he just wanted Britt’s friend to know that they could afford to take care of Maddie.

“I did some research after I heard from you. Your husband has a thriving business, and you own two homes, one a huge mansion.”

“We do alright.” He didn’t like the way this convo was going.

“More than, I’d say.”

“So, you’ve known Maddie since she was born?” Aaron asked.

“Yep, she’s always been the most smiley girl ever. Brittney never had much so she tried her best to give Maddie what she could.”

“She sounds like an amazing mother,” he said honestly.

“She was.”

He started to charge the laptop and look through it to find pictures while Susan found the pictures she kept. The laptop was easy to navigate, there was a folder labeled Matilda. It was broken up into months and years. Pictures of Maddie as a newborn, with a pink teddy bear beside her. Maddie at one in a yellow sundress. Maddie at two, at three, at four, all holding the same pink teddy bear from earlier.

“Do you know what happened to the teddy bear?” he asked

“I think she lost it at around five. Here’s your tea.”

“Ta,” he said before taking a drink.

He left to his hotel room with a laptop full of pictures of Maddie, actual photos and a flash drive full of videos that Maddie’s mother had taken of her. Susan had told him they should talk more but he didn’t think so. There was something off about her and thought it best to keep his distance. She seemed very obsessed with finding out about Robert. She also asked way too many questions about money.

His plan was to put all the pictures and videos on a new flash drive and have a copy. He also got a photo album for the loose pictures to put in order. The next day he planned to go home and surprise Robert and Maddie. He hoped that Robert forgave him for missing her first night at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your reviews and reading the story. I hope you continue to like it.


	41. Vile

Robert had texted him, letting him know that he had messed up not being there for Maddie’s first night. He knew what he was doing, he just couldn’t face her yet. He knew Robert thought it was because she was Robert’s by a woman he didn’t remember. But that wasn’t it, he would take her and love her, and she would be his own. It wasn’t anything Robert thought, it was Liv. His little sister was Maddie’s age the last time he saw her, seven and a half.

He had found out that Sandra had left not long after he was kicked out. Liv was so close to the age he was when his abuse started. Had Sandra known what had been happening? Was she worried it would happen to Liv? Did it happen to Liv? He left his little sister in that place, defenseless. Seeing Maddie would bring all the guilt he had been repressing.

“About time you got home,” Robert said as greeting.

“How angry are you?”

“Pretty damn.”

“Is there anything I can do to make it better? Maybe after you find out what I’ve been doing.”

“I don’t care what you’ve been doing. It was her first night in a strange place. Not only was her room not decorated but her stepfather didn’t care enough to show up. I’m taking Maddie and Rory to Vic’s for a little while. Ollie and Violet are with your mum already. Since you wanted time, you’ve got it.”

“Robert, please, don’t.”

“Kids! Let’s go!”

Rory and Maddie both come down the stairs. Rory saw him and smiled.

“Daddy, where have you been? You haven’t met my sister yet.”

“I know.” He turned towards the little girl. “It’s really good to finally meet you Maddie,” Aaron said to her.

No smile, no words back just a frown from a sad little girl.

“Let’s go, we’re going to visit Aunt Vic, she’s very excited to meet Maddie,” Robert said. Aaron didn’t miss the disapproving look he gave him.

Just like that the kids and Robert were gone, leaving him alone in the house. This was him all over, always screwing up. Robert was right in his anger. Maddie was right in her distrust. He had one job and messed it up. He went out to the car and grabbed all the stuff he had gotten. He put everything in a box and put it in the cupboard, maybe another time.

* * *

“What do I call you?” Maddie asked him quietly.

“What do you mean?” Robert asked her.

Rory was off showing Vic his new drawing that he had done.

“Do I call you Robert or Dad or Tata like Rory?”

“You can call me anything you like. Don’t feel rushed into anything.”

“Does Aaron not like me?”

It broke his heart. “Of course, he does. He had a really important meeting that he couldn’t reschedule like I told you.” He had to lie to her about Aaron’s absence. He had told her all about him and couldn’t wait to introduce them then he found out Aaron left.

“Are you cross with him? You looked cross when we left.”

“No, I’m not cross with him. Sometimes he doesn’t think things through but in the end, he’s the one you want looking out for you. He’s best kind of person.”

If he would just stop and think before he acted. Robert knew that Aaron had been through a lot, but this was supposed to be about Maddie.

There was a knock on the door and Robert answered the door because Vic was busy.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to see Aaron on the other side, but he was. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to make up for being a dick.”

“Who am I to stop you,” Robert said opening the door wider, letting Aaron in.

Robert hung back while Aaron made his way for Maddie.

* * *

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for your first night home,” Aaron said.

“Robert said you had a meeting.”

“Yeah, I guess I did. I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for your first night.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Your nan told me you like ballet. Did your Robert tell you about your new class?”

“Rory did. Said we’d be having lessons together.”

“I hope that’s alright. I thought maybe going to ballet class with you would help Rory open up.”

“Its fine.” She was giving him not leeway.

He had worried that once he met her, she would remind him of Liv, and she did but only so slightly. The guilt still ate him up about leaving Liv there knowing what their father was capable of but that was it. Maddie was no more like Liv than Ollie was like Jack. He had worked himself up into a state and she was just a little girl. She wasn’t Liv there to accuse him of abandonment. She wasn’t damaged like he was, she was just a sad child missing her mum and being away from her grandmother.

“I hope one day you’ll forgive me for not being here,” he said before turning to leave Vic’s.

“Will I get a horse too?”

Aaron looked over at her and could swear he saw Robert’s smirk flash on her face before it was gone. He had to be seeing things, unless nature really was stronger than nurture than he thought. Just the thought of raising a mini-Robert was a little scary.

“We’ll talk about it,” he said before leaving.

* * *

Aaron was washing clothes when Robert and the kids got home. Clothes washing was never-ending with children not to mention Robert. This stuff wasn’t really his specialty, he was more make messes than clean them. But he learned early on if you don’t keep things straight things get out of control fast.

“We brought pizza,” Robert said, setting the box down on the table.

“Great.”

“We got your favorite, Daddy,” Rory said.

“Oh, you did, did you?” he asked, tickling Rory lightly making him giggle before he took the clothes he had just folded to put away.

When he got back Robert had all the kids sitting at the table, Ollie and Violet in their boosters. 

“Sit by me, Dad,” Rory said.

Aaron smiled and sat in the seat left for him, the one in between Rory and Ollie.

“Did you have fun at Aunt Vic’s?” Aaron asked.

“Oh yes, she’s the best,” Maddie said.

Aaron smiled to himself as she started to chatter about their visit. As they were finishing the pizza, Aaron decided to bring up the room issue.

“I don’t know if your dad told you, but I wanted to let you be able to decorate your room. We could do that tomorrow or if you’d rather you and your dad could do it on his day off.”

“I’d like to do it tomorrow,” she said quietly. She thought Aaron was trying to push this off on Robert. From Robert’s glare to him, his husband thought the same.

“That sounds great. We’ll drop the babies off at nursery tomorrow and you, me and Rory will go get things for your room.”

“Can we visit Sunny too?” Rory asked.

“Yes, we can visit Sunny. I told Trevor we were going to take a few weeks break while everything settles. Then we’ll be jumping into your riding lessons, ballet and Aikido.”

“That’s a lot,” Rory said looking a bit overwhelmed.

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do ballet,” Maddie told Rory.

“And I can show you how to ride Sunny,” Rory told her.

“Sounds like a plan,” Robert said but Aaron could tell his husband was still cross with him. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Robert closed the door to their bedroom and waited for Aaron to come in from putting Ollie to bed. Robert had the easy task of putting Violet to bed, she usually fell asleep while he read to Rory. Rory and Maddie had lain on Rory’s bed while he read to them. Violet had fallen asleep in his arms while Rory turned the pages. After he was done Maddie went to her room and he took and put Violet in her cot. Ollie was giving Aaron a hard time downstairs, Robert decided he didn’t want to help him, he was able to get three down for the night Aaron could get the one.

He was still incredibly angry with Aaron which was something new to him. He gave Aaron so much because of how much he’s been through. Even before he knew about his dad, Aaron had always been fragile, not like glass but like a bomb. He loved him more than anything, but Aaron had hurt Maddie and that was inexcusable.

Robert showered and dressed for bed. Aaron still wasn’t back when he got into bed. He was shattered so he fell asleep before Aaron came to bed.

* * *

Aaron finally was able to get Ollie down, he cried and cried. It was a miracle he didn’t wake Violet. Ollie fed off his emotions even more than Rory did. He was sure it was because he had been non-verbal for so long. He was talking now but very little.

Robert was already asleep when he got to the bed. He climbed in and turned over, facing the wall. Suddenly an arm wrapped around him.

“I hate when we row,” Robert said into his ear.

“I don’t like it either. Truce?”

“Just do better by her.”

“Promise,” he answered honestly. His issues wasn’t with her, he knew where they were. Wherever his little sister was now he just hoped she had never been hurt by their father. He hadn’t wanted to leave her, he even tried to go back home but his dad wouldn’t take him back. He couldn’t tell anyone the reason he wanted to go back to his dad’s. Now it was too late, they all knew.

* * *

“No, your dad will kill me,” Aaron said, shaking his head.

“But you said I could decorate my room any way I like?” she pouted. 

“I know but I meant within reason.”

“But. That. Is. Not. What. You. Said.”

“If this is what you want.”

He purchased the gaudiest bedroom set that he had ever seen. It wasn’t the princess room that Robert thought she would want. No, it was bright orange and red and ugly. He set up a time for them to deliver the furniture. They went and picked out some toys and bedding, the more hideous the better it seemed to the girl. He didn’t know her game, but he had seen that same exact look on Robert, so he knew it was one.

By the time Robert got home that night, Maddie’s room was exactly like she wanted it and he was exhausted.

“Tata come look at my room,” Maddie said grabbing Robert’s hand and pulling him up the stairs.

It was the first time she had referred to Robert by anything but his name. He bet Robert was properly chuffed, at least until he sees the atrocity that is her room.

Aaron waited downstairs until Robert came back down. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“It’s what she wanted.”

“Then we need to have her eyes checked because that room is vile.”

“She likes it.”

“I guess I can hope her tastes get better with age.”

“Yours hasn’t,” Aaron said smiling at Robert.

Robert laughed. “It really is hideous. I think I’m going to be sick just looking at it.”

“At least you don’t have to sleep in there.”

“True. Alright, I’ll start cooking,” Robert said. That was the moment Ollie decided to start crying.

“I’ll deal with him; he’s been off for a few days.”

“Is he poorly?” Robert asked.

“A little, I’ll keep an eye on him.”

* * *

Robert was meeting with a new prospect for an office manager. She had great references and everything. He had only just gotten her CV the day before. It was like an answer to his prayers because his last one just left because she had gotten injured.

“Susan, I’m so glad you could come on short notice,” he told the woman.

Susan Watson was beautiful woman around his age. She had long legs and her blonde hair was pulled over one of her shoulders. He had told Aaron a few times that he was always going to find other people attractive and he did her. He worried that maybe he shouldn’t hire her, keep temptation away. But Aaron was the love of his life, there was no way he would cheat on him.

“It was no problem. An opportunity like this, I couldn’t pass up,” she said. Robert heard the seductive tone in her voice, but it was all just talk, he knew that. He had done the same when Lawrence hired him.


	42. Jenna's Warning

Things got crazy after the addition of Maddie. She was always on the go and Rory was her follower. More and more Aaron had started to feel like a single parent instead of a part of a united front with Robert. Robert started work before the kids were awake and came back after the kids were asleep. Then on weekends, the weekends he didn’t decide to go in he would take the bigger kids out, never the littles. He said four kids was too hard to deal with outside the house. Aaron didn’t bother to tell him he could never leave the house without all four with him.

There was also something else bothering him. Usually, Robert couldn’t shut up about what he was doing at work, who he was trying to sign, all that goodness. But in the last month, he hadn’t said a word about work. He was incredibly quiet about it and any time Aaron asked he would be vague. Then Robert was late for Rory’s seventh birthday party. Rory had been in tears when the party started, and Robert wasn’t there. Aaron texted him to get home in the next twenty minutes or don’t bother ever coming home again. Robert showed up with one minute to spare and some ridiculously expensive present that Rory hadn’t cared about, he just wanted Robert.

As a person whose father bought him things as an apology, it infuriated him. True, Robert’s wrongs were no where close to his own dad’s but trying to buy off your kid is bad parenting just the same.

Their sex life was amazing, which worried him even more. Robert seemed to be becoming home ‘ready’ every night. Aaron didn’t want him to ever go looking elsewhere so even if he was tired, he went along. Not that he didn’t like it, but sometimes he just wanted to sleep, especially after being vomited on, having a toddler sneeze in his face and trying to stop two seven-year-olds from tearing down the house.

Today Aaron had Rory and Maddie’s riding lessons. Well, riding lessons was a little bit of hopeful thinking.

“Are you going to try it today?” he asked Maddie.

She looked at Sunny suspiciously before shaking her head. “She might bite me.”

“We’ve been over this; she won’t bite you. Look how well he does with Rory.”

Rory was riding around on Sunny unassisted with Trevor watching closely.

“Maybe next time,” she said.

It had been maybe next time the last three times. She was terrified of horses, something he wished he knew before he paid Trevor a fortune for walking Sunny five meters from Maddie before she runs screaming away.

“You don’t have to continue with lessons if you don’t want. We can find something else you’ll enjoy,” he told her.

“I do enjoy riding lessons. Next time I’ll pet her, I promise.”

Aaron just smiled and accepted it. She wanted this so there wasn’t much he could do. At least she’s not waiting in the car anymore like she did on the first day.

“Tata’s not scared of horses,” Maddie said dejectedly. “Rory’s not scared.”

“Paddy’s scared of them.”

“But he’s a vet.”

“A scaredy vet,” he said making her giggle.

Soon Rory’s lesson was over, and Trevor walked over to him with Rory after taking Sunny back to the paddock and handing him off to Sam, who took great care Sunny.

“He’s going to be a pro in no time,” Trevor said patting Rory on the head.

“He loves it. Is there anything we can do?” He knew Trevor would know was asking about Maddie.

“I’ve been thinking about it and asking around. Work your way up. Start small with mice or rabbits, then when she is comfortable go up to something like a cat or dog. Then again bigger like lambs or kids, just keep going sheep and goats. Soon you’ll get to horses and she should be used to movements of livestock and size differences by then.”

It made sense she was scared of the pigs at Zak’s too. This was going to be a lot of work on his part. Maybe he could talk Robert into taking the kids to a petting zoo on their weekends out.

“I haven’t seen Robert here lately,” Trevor said with a fake casual tone. He was in lust with Robert and didn’t try to hide it. But Robert had never looked at him, so it didn’t really bother Aaron.

“He’s been really busy lately at work.”

“Shame,” Trevor said before heading off to speak with Sam.

“Everyone ready to go?”

“Can we go to the café?” Maddie asked.

“Sure, but then we have to get the littles from Lisa.”

He wouldn’t have thought about having Lisa watch two small children on her own, but she had Belle to help her out today. Usually, he had them at nursery for this but there was a nits outbreak at nursery. Thankfully, none of his kids had them.

* * *

Robert thought today was the day he would get home before midnight. In the last month he had been putting out fire after fire. It was like the world was against him. He had to practically do handstands to keep his clients from jumping ship. He had to threated legal action because of the contracts they signed. He wouldn’t be getting them back once it was up.

Aaron was getting annoyed with him every time he saw him, and Robert couldn’t tell him the reason. He didn’t want his husband to look at him like a failure. What if the villagers found out? He wouldn’t be able to show his face in public.

Then there was Susan, who could make a nun sin. She was always all over him, it made keeping his vows very hard, it wasn’t the only thing hard. After the first week he knew it was a mistake hiring her. She tested the boundaries of appropriate workplace attire. He would be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention from her, but he was happily married. At the moment the only way he could show Aaron how much he loved him was late at night. He hoped when everything with the company got worked out, he would be able to see his whole family again.

“Rob.”

Robert looked up and saw Jenna, his receptionist, she had been with him from the beginning.

“Yeah?”

“I think you should fire Susan.”

“What? Why would I do that? She’s been amazing at her job.”

“Think with something above your waist. She’s the reason you’re losing clients.”

“What are you on about?”

“She’s the one messing up orders.”

“No, it was a software error.”

“I really thought you were smarter than this. Here,” she said handing him a sheet of paper.

“What’s this?”

“My resignation letter. I helped build this place, I can’t watch her destroy it. I just hope it’s only the company she destroys, and you keep it in your pants. Because she’s gunning for an eighteen-year windfall if you get me. I’ll finish out my two weeks. I hope that you know what you’re doing. Aaron’s a great bloke and he doesn’t deserve this.”

“It’s in your head, nothing is going on.”

“Keep telling yourself that, make sure when you cheat, and you will, that you wrap it up.”

* * *

Aaron had been staring at the wall all night. Jenna had rung him and told him about her suspicions. He knew something was up, Robert had been too distant. Robert was having an affair. Jenna couldn’t say for sure, but she knew that the woman she just called She-Devil was all over Robert and he didn’t seem averse to it.

He didn’t know what to think, that was a lie, he did. If it were just him, he would put up with it, but this wasn’t a relationship he wanted his children to model. He wouldn’t do anything until he knew for sure because if he had to watch how he did this. Because no matter if Robert is bedding everyone from here to Leeds with a mistletoe over his cock, all Robert had to do was bring up Aaron’s self-harm, attempt on his own life and that would be it, he would be lucky to see the kids on holiday.

All he really needed was someone to watch over Robert that wasn’t fooled by him. Someone smarter and more devious than him. The answer came to him, he picked up his mobile and looked for the name he wanted.

“Do you know what time it is?” the hoarse voice asked.

“Yeah, I have a favour, one that will pay double. I need you to work for Robert as receptionist. Not only will you get the pay from that, but I’ll also pay you to be my eyes and ears there.”

“Trouble in paradise?”

“His new office manager is a home wrecker, or she wants to be. I know my husband, he loves me, he does. But he misses the freedom he had; I know it even if he doesn’t say it.”

“Spying won’t help if he’s ready to fly the coop,” she said. She did sound sad about it at least.

“If he cheats, he cheats, I can’t help that. But Jenna, the old receptionist, said that the new office manager is trying to ruin the company. While this company is Robert’s baby, my name is on it too. I won’t have him throwing it away for a woman who seems to be trying to ruin him. If he actually felt something for her than it would be one thing, it’s not though. I trust Jenna, if she says this woman is bad news, she is.”

“I do have a reputation to live up to, if trouble is about, I best be near it.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Are we sure he’ll hire me?”

“Like I said, I own half the company, you’ve got the job. Show up tomorrow and Jenna will start training you in.”

“Sounds like fun, I do hope it’s more spy than receptionist though.”

“You’re a lifesaver Charity.”

“Don’t you forget it. That spy pay better be big.”


	43. The Return

Aaron was going to kill someone, either Robert for working too many hours or the next person to ask if he’s alright. No, he’s not alright. A norovirus bug had swept through the house and Robert had opted to stay in Hotten at a hotel because he couldn’t afford to get sick. That left Aaron playing nursemaid to four vomiting children. It was over within two days but for two days he was cleaning up sick and trying to make sure the kids stayed hydrated. He also pretended he didn’t hear the woman giggle in the background when Robert rang him from his hotel room.

What to do when you suspect(know) that your husband is having an affair? There was not much he could do because he knew he wasn’t in a mentally right place to be a single parent, even though he would never get custody. He had too many worries about his own parenting to even attempt it.

When Robert did come back home, he was his normal self so Aaron couldn’t call him out on cheating. He couldn’t confide in friends or family because they would lose it and cause too much trouble. Not only that, Robert’s revenge on Katie and Andy just hit according to village gossip. Andy was literally caught with his trousers down with Sadie King. He was now living with Sadie and Katie was staying his with mum. He didn’t like this move by Robert, but he didn’t stop it, so he was just as guilty.

Charity had been keeping him updated on what was going on at the office but apparently since he sent her in, Robert’s been keeping his hands to himself. At least he knew that Charity was giving Robert a hard time because Robert told him every day what a nuisance Charity was being. It made feel a little better knowing they weren’t having sex in the office.

The last three counseling appointments he had to cancel. First one because he had taken Maddie to visit her grandmother in hospital before she had to have another surgery. The second time was because he couldn’t get anyone to watch the kids and Robert was too busy to come home. The last time was because all the kids were sick, followed by him getting sick.

Because he hadn’t seen his counselor, things in his head had gone downhill. He hadn’t told Robert about missing the appointments. He worried that Robert would go off on him. He thought that Robert would bring up his attempt. Aaron had been thinking about that time more and more lately.

It had been coming for a while, the cutting made him able to carry on. But then he started with the private counselor, the only person he told about what his father did and about the catalyst for his cutting. The internal pain just got too much and one day while Robert was at work, he decided it was time to end it all.

As he stared at the blade, he knew that couldn’t end it like that. Robert would probably just assume that he got carried away and blame himself. That’s how Aaron found himself standing on the ledge of a bridge. Someone must have seen him because one moment he was alone and the next there were people trying to talk him down and police pulling up. To this day he didn’t know if it was the desire to die or fear of being put in a facility that made him jump but he did. His biggest memory from that night was when he was falling, all he could think was that he wanted Robert.

When he woke up, he was tethered to the bed and Robert was calling him an idiot. If Robert weren’t crying, he would have thought he was angry, but he wasn’t just very scared. It was a long time before Robert would leave him alone after that. When Robert had to work, Jenna would come over. They had met her because she was their neighbor. She was a single mum with a little boy that had some issues at birth that caused him to have a stroke right after birth. He was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy after that.

When he won the money, he told Robert that he wanted Jenna and Sean taken care of for life. Robert agreed and they told her that they had come into an inheritance. She refused the money but when she heard Robert was starting a company, she said maybe a job wouldn’t hurt. She had no experience but was really good with people. She was an amazing receptionist and moved to Hotten when Robert moved his office there. Now that Jenna was gone, he wondered what she and Sean would do.

* * *

Robert was sitting at his desk when Susan came in, she was wearing a new outfit. He was sure it was because Charity had seemed to drop something that stained on almost every outfit Susan had. He would fire Charity if he weren’t a little scared of her…alright a lot scared.

“We should go out tonight. I feel like I don’t get any time alone with you anymore since that harpy started,” she purred into his ear.

“I can’t. I’ve got a business trip in the morning. I promised Aaron I would be home early tonight.”

“It’s not fair,” she pouted.

“Life hardly ever is,” he said smiling at her.

“When are you going to leave him? You promised.”

“This has to be done the right way. I can’t just up and leave him.”

“Why not?”

“For one I’m pretty sure his mum and uncle will kill me, and no one would ever find my body.” She laughed. “I wasn’t joking.”

Robert mobile started ringing, he saw it was Aaron. He let it go to voicemail. It rang again. Voicemail again. The third time he knew something was up, but he couldn’t speak to Aaron while Susan was in the room.

Charity came bounding in looking like she was ready for murder.

“Chas just rang me. Gordon showed up at Home Farm. Andy rang the police, but he left before they got there.”

Robert grabbed his mobile and rang Aaron back but there was no answer.

“What’s going on?” Susan asked.

“None of your concern,” Charity said, glaring at Susan.

“Charity, close the office, yeah?”

“Sure.”

He left, not looking back, Aaron must be in a right state. What if Gordon had found their house? Andy knew everything, he wouldn’t tell Gordon where Aaron was but not everyone in the village was in the know.

The drive home had never taken so long. When he did get there, his heart dropped. There were police in front of the house. As he opened his car door, he heard his children crying. Police stopped him when he tried to enter his home.

“I live here,” he snarled at the man.

“Your name?”

“Robert Sugden.”

Maddie must have heard him because she came running out in tears.

“Tata,” she cried as she wrapped her arms around his legs. He picked her up and hugged her back.

“Are you alright?” he asked, checking her for injury.

She nodded. She was looking at something over his shoulder, he turned and saw Gordon in the back of a police vehicle.

“I want to see my husband,” he told the police officer that was keeping him outside.

“Robert, what are you doing out here?” Chas asked from the doorway.

“He won’t let me in,” Robert said, again gesturing at the police.

Chas glared at the cop and grabbed Robert’s arm and pulled him inside, Chas daring the cop with just a look. Inside was filled with people. Andy was there holding Violet who was sleeping against him, but Robert could see her red blotchy face, showing she had been crying. Rory was crying in Lisa’s lap, too upset to even notice Robert had come in. Ollie was hiccup-crying in Zak’s arms. What the hell had happened? Finally, he saw Aaron, he was sitting at the kitchen table speaking with an investigator.

Robert sat Maddie down on her feet and told her to stay with Chas. She didn’t want to let him go but finally did. He walked over to where Aaron was sitting. He sat down beside his husband and put his hand on his shoulder. Aaron looked over at him and it was like he was just looking through him.

“What happened?” he asked Aaron.

“Who are you?” the investigator asked.

“My husband,” Aaron answered before speaking to Robert. “My dad showed up, Maddie answered the door thinking it was Andy who was coming over to take her and Rory to look at the sheep at Butlers. Rory saw him and told Maddie he wasn’t allowed in. I was changing Violet’s nappy. Gordon forced his way in. I heard the kids scream then saw Gordon was there with my children within reach. I shut down; I couldn’t even move. What kind of father I am? If Andy hadn’t come through the door at that moment, I don’t know what would happen.”

Robert did, and Gordon should be lucky Andy came in at that time. Aaron was shocked still but it wouldn’t last and there was a lot of rage buried in his husband from his father. Robert had no doubt in his mind that Aaron would have protected the kids with his life. It was sad that Aaron was questioning himself on this. A petty part of Robert hated that it was Andy that seemed to save the day, stupid Andy.

* * *

Hours later everyone had gone home, Chas had offered to take the kids, but he didn’t want them away from him. Robert hadn’t left Aaron’s side and already told Charity to cancel his trip because of a family emergency.

Aaron took his sedative that he had been given to him by his doctor for things like this. He usually refused to take them no matter how bad it was. But he said if he didn’t, he would probably end up cutting his arm off with how he felt. The kids had calmed down, more so when he told them he was staying home for the next week.

Someone knocked on the door after the kids went to sleep. His jaw dropped when he saw it was Susan.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see if you’re alright. You left so fast.”

“I’m fine. I’d like you to leave now.”

“What? Why?”

“This is my home where my husband and children are.”

“But you’re leaving them.”

“Not today. Please leave, I’ll talk to you later.”

She nodded sadly and left. Once he saw the last of her car’s lights, he grabbed his mobile.

“What now, bossman?” Charity asked.

“It’s time for Project Susan.”

“THANK GOD! If I had to listen to her baby talk to you again, I would vomit.”

“It was fun in the beginning, but she just showed up at the house. It could have been Aaron answering the door.”

“Are you sure you want to go all the way? I know crazy and she’s crazy.”

“Yeah. It’s gone on too long. If I weren’t playing this stupid game I would’ve been home today, and Gordon wouldn’t have gotten as close to my family as he did.”

“You got it, Boss. Destroy Susan Watson is a go.”

In the beginning he loved the attention Susan gave him. He had to admit he let it go to his head. It wasn’t until after Jenna quit that he started to question things. That’s when he did a detailed background check on Susan because he knew when someone was lying, he just didn’t care before then. That’s when he found out Susan Watson used to live with Maddie’s mum. Something happened between them and Brittney, Maddie’s mum, had a restraining order against Susan. Everyone he spoke to said that Susan was dangerous.

That’s when he started looking into the errors that caused a dent in his business. Jenna was right, it was Susan. After Jenna’s two weeks were up, he gave her a new contract, but she wouldn’t come back until Susan left. He asked her not to tell Aaron, he wasn’t really cut out for the cloak and dagger stuff. No one made a fool of him. He had to have revenge.

If she were just messing with him, that was one thing, but she wasn’t. She was messing with his money, professional reputation and most importantly, his family. She wanted to hurt him and Aaron for whatever reason, so she has to pay for it.

The worst part of it he was having to continue to act like he was attracted to her. When Aaron and the kids got sick, he stayed away because he worried if he were out of the office for long Susan would cause too much trouble and his company would never recover. Susan kept showing up at his hotel and he kept having to play along. He did make sure he didn’t take any drinks from her; he didn’t trust her. It was getting harder to give her reasons they couldn’t have sex. He couldn’t tell her the truth, that sleeping with her would make him want to jab his eyes out with a rusted spike. She was beautiful on the outside but had nothing on Aaron inside and out. After the allusion of her was gone, he saw the flaws in her. While she was devious, something he usually liked, she was an idiot, he couldn’t stand that.

She was going to pay for trying to destroy his life. She thought he was too dumb to realize what was happening. She seemed to underestimate how much he cared about his business. Way more than flirting with a tart like her. The best part was, he wouldn’t have to do anything, Charity had volunteered to take Susan down. After this was all over, he would have a lot to make up for with Aaron and the kids. He was just lucky Aaron was one of the most forgiving people he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There were questions about Aaron's attempt in this story. This hopefully will explain it. I know most of you were ok with the cheating, I just couldn't write it, I even tried. But I while I totally believe he would do it, it was harder for me to write that he fell for such an obvious scam. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.


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